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I know how we can get my dad's mortgage back up to date, pay off all our bills
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Raising Buchanan

I know how we can get my dad's mortgageback up to date, pay off all our bills, get your...

I know how we can get my dad's mortgage
back up to date, pay off all our bills, get your Mom's shit out of hock,
the fines, everything

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.305
I know how we can get my dad's mortgage back up to date, pay off all our bills,
00:00:04.338 --> 00:00:07.408
get your Mom's shit out of hock, the fines, everything.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
19
Timestamp in Movie
00:18:51
Uploaded
Jun 14, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

A desperate woman steals the corpse of former US president James Buchanan, hoping to net a large ransom. Complications arise when it seems no one is particularly interested in getting him back.
I know the media tends to sugarcoat those things to make them sound more fun - Raising Buchanan 00:07
I know the media tends to sugarcoat those things to make the...
- Why? - Because we have three things on our side: - Raising Buchanan 00:08
- Why? - Because we have three things on our side:
It uses the flowing water to turn the big paddle-wheel, - Raising Buchanan 00:08
It uses the flowing water to turn the big paddle-wheel,
Besides, you said you were planning to become more unpredictable. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
Besides, you said you were planning to become more unpredict...
I'm in a corner here, Meg. My options ran out a few months ago. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
I'm in a corner here, Meg. My options ran out a few mon...
This isn't some half-assed adventure here. I'm trying to survive. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
This isn't some half-assed adventure here. I'm try...
So, Jillian, do you think this bikini top is too small on me? - Raising Buchanan 00:05
So, Jillian, do you think this bikini top is too small on me...
No, I saw some big boxes in there and some bubble wrap. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
No, I saw some big boxes in there and some bubble wrap.
I told you: I'm gonna email the ransom note to the government. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
I told you: I'm gonna email the ransom note to the gove...
Some lady in New Jersey owns Napoleon's penis, and she says that she... - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Some lady in New Jersey owns Napoleon's penis, and she ...
Wait! Why the hell does some lady in New Jersey own Napoleon's penis? - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Wait! Why the hell does some lady in New Jersey own Napoleon...
No, it's "one inch long and resembles a maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace." - Raising Buchanan 00:09
No, it's "one inch long and resembles a maltreated...
Nobody refuses that kind of money for a historical buckskin penis - Raising Buchanan 00:07
Nobody refuses that kind of money for a historical buckskin ...
If my father leaves me a shriveled dork in his will, - Raising Buchanan 00:06
If my father leaves me a shriveled dork in his will,
I'll grant you that it might not be kidnapping but it's probably theft and burglary. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
I'll grant you that it might not be kidnapping but it&#...
Well, you take the moisture out of a guy and he's just a pile of sticks. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
Well, you take the moisture out of a guy and he's just ...
I want them to get it right before they get the call from Pennsylvania - Raising Buchanan 00:05
I want them to get it right before they get the call from Pe...
Uhh... He's gonna need more than just "sick." - Raising Buchanan 00:07
Uhh... He's gonna need more than just "sick."
That way, if he questions it, he's gonna have a harassment suit on his hands. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
That way, if he questions it, he's gonna have a harassm...
"Vaginal pneumonia." - Raising Buchanan 00:04
"Vaginal pneumonia."