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If I'm not dying according to their schedule
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Raising Buchanan

If I'm not dying according totheir schedule then maybe it's their damn schedulethat's out...

If I'm not dying according to
their schedule then maybe it's their damn schedule
that's out of whack, not me!

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.067
If I'm not dying according to their schedule
00:00:04.137 --> 00:00:07.074
then maybe it's their damn schedule that's out of whack, not me!
Duration
8 seconds
Views
20
Timestamp in Movie
00:06:11
Uploaded
Jun 14, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

A desperate woman steals the corpse of former US president James Buchanan, hoping to net a large ransom. Complications arise when it seems no one is particularly interested in getting him back.
Dr. Zeblisky, he danced around it. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Dr. Zeblisky, he danced around it.
But I got the impression they were thinking of maybe kicking me out of this dump. - Raising Buchanan 00:06
But I got the impression they were thinking of maybe kicking...
Look, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to jinx it. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
Look, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want ...
So... how's work? - Raising Buchanan 00:04
So... how's work?
I never saw you making more than minimum wage. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
I never saw you making more than minimum wage.
It's only been a month and already he's bigger and stronger. - Raising Buchanan 00:06
It's only been a month and already he's bigger and...
And I hate to keep bringing it up, - Raising Buchanan 00:08
And I hate to keep bringing it up,
Yes, Dad. Kyle will keep the Kiesling name. We've already been through this. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
Yes, Dad. Kyle will keep the Kiesling name. We've alrea...
I know it's not important to you, but it's a hell of a thing he's doing. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
I know it's not important to you, but it's a hell ...
And I'll be sure to tell him that when I finally get a chance to meet him. - Raising Buchanan 00:07
And I'll be sure to tell him that when I finally get a ...
How you managed to land a guy like that - Raising Buchanan 00:08
How you managed to land a guy like that
Lori's taking Jeffrey to her parents' house in Iowa for a couple of weeks, - Raising Buchanan 00:07
Lori's taking Jeffrey to her parents' house in Iow...
I'm not crazy about it either, Ruth, but this custody thing's all about her. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
I'm not crazy about it either, Ruth, but this custody t...
And you gotta admit this hospice thing has been going on way longer than you told me. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
And you gotta admit this hospice thing has been going on way...
Hey, you want to get a coffee or a cheese crisp? - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Hey, you want to get a coffee or a cheese crisp?
Small confrontation with a guy driving too slow in the left lane. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Small confrontation with a guy driving too slow in the left ...
How do you drive for thirty years and not know the left lane is the fast lane? - Raising Buchanan 00:05
How do you drive for thirty years and not know the left lane...
The idea behind community service is to provide a fair level of restitution. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
The idea behind community service is to provide a fair level...
Well, it's not like I robbed a bank, or put someone in the hospital. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Well, it's not like I robbed a bank, or put someone in ...
You play the cello off to the side of a very strange ventriloquist. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
You play the cello off to the side of a very strange ventril...