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You know, except for Jesus, all Capricorns are buttholes
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Raising Buchanan

You know, except for Jesus, allCapricorns are buttholes

You know, except for Jesus, all
Capricorns are buttholes

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.067
You know, except for Jesus, all Capricorns are buttholes.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
20
Timestamp in Movie
01:06:39
Uploaded
Jun 14, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

A desperate woman steals the corpse of former US president James Buchanan, hoping to net a large ransom. Complications arise when it seems no one is particularly interested in getting him back.
Hey, check this out. Looks like there were three of them. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
Hey, check this out. Looks like there were three of them.
Wait not a Hobbit... what am I thinking of, a midget. A midget! - Raising Buchanan 00:04
Wait not a Hobbit... what am I thinking of, a midget. A midg...
- What? - The "M"-word is like the "N"-word to little people. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
- What? - The "M"-word is like the "N"-w...
There's no such thing as "midgets." - Raising Buchanan 00:05
There's no such thing as "midgets."
Not quite a dwarf exactly, but he had that thing that Gary Coleman had. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Not quite a dwarf exactly, but he had that thing that Gary C...
Well, I was gonna see him tomorrow - Raising Buchanan 00:06
Well, I was gonna see him tomorrow
It's a pretty big deal on the ventriloquial social calendar. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
It's a pretty big deal on the ventriloquial social cale...
But Errol put me on probation. Can't go. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
But Errol put me on probation. Can't go.
No, no, no! He'll just get angry, Seriously... - Raising Buchanan 00:04
No, no, no! He'll just get angry, Seriously...
One can never be certain of legacy. - Raising Buchanan 00:45
One can never be certain of legacy.
My pursuit of the office of Chief Executive - Raising Buchanan 00:10
My pursuit of the office of Chief Executive
And had it not been for the secession of the South - Raising Buchanan 00:08
And had it not been for the secession of the South
That's not true. You just... Sorry. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
That's not true. You just... Sorry.
And so I was carried one station too high. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
And so I was carried one station too high.
The greater responsibility left me a lesser man - Raising Buchanan 00:09
The greater responsibility left me a lesser man
Good grades, bunch of friends, decent attitude for a teenager. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Good grades, bunch of friends, decent attitude for a teenage...
If I could choose my legacy, I'd want it to be for being that earlier girl. - Raising Buchanan 00:06
If I could choose my legacy, I'd want it to be for bein...
He couldn't hand me my legacy any more than I could hand him his by getting knocked up. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
He couldn't hand me my legacy any more than I could han...
Just need a little alone time. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
Just need a little alone time.
Okay, we're out here if you need anything. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Okay, we're out here if you need anything.