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"Red Dwarf" quotes

Red Dwarf poster
The adventures of the last human alive and his friends, stranded three million years into deep space on the mining ship Red Dwarf.

Director: N/A
Writer: Rob Grant, Doug Naylor
Production:
Genre: comedy, sci-fi
Year: 1988
MetaScore: N/A/100
ImdbRating: 8.4
BoxOffice:
Released: 29 Mar 1989
Awards: 6 wins & 6 nominations

103 video clips

Lister
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I've lost me pea - Red Dwarf 00:07 I've lost me pea My brain's rebelled - Red Dwarf 00:06 My brain's rebelled It's all junk mail yours you know - Red Dwarf 00:12 It's all junk mail yours you know A couple of days - Red Dwarf 00:18 A couple of days A fallopian tube is a musical instrument. - Red Dwarf 00:08 A fallopian tube is a musical instrument. A towel, Sir. - Red Dwarf 00:16 A towel, Sir. After you, after you, after you... - Red Dwarf 00:07 After you, after you, after you... Ah! - Red Dwarf 00:11 Ah! And you don't give anything away. - Red Dwarf 00:06 And you don't give anything away. Any joy, sir? - Red Dwarf 00:18 Any joy, sir? Anythin'? - Red Dwarf 00:22 Anythin'? Are we there yet? - Red Dwarf 00:23 Are we there yet? Asclepius, are you ready to rewrite the DNA? - Red Dwarf 00:26 Asclepius, are you ready to rewrite the DNA? BEEPING Rimmer, what is that? - Red Dwarf 00:22 BEEPING Rimmer, what is that? Buds, am I pleased to see you. - Red Dwarf 00:06 Buds, am I pleased to see you. Can't believe we found me guitar. - Red Dwarf 00:17 Can't believe we found me guitar. Check this. That's no solar storm. What the hell is it? - Red Dwarf 00:24 Check this. That's no solar storm. What the hell is it? Coordinates locked and logged, sirs. - Red Dwarf 00:27 Coordinates locked and logged, sirs. Death Ship and three Annihilators at six o'clock, sirs. - Red Dwarf 00:29 Death Ship and three Annihilators at six o'clock, sirs. Do you now accept that you threw a 2 and a 1 and you lost this game?! - Red Dwarf 00:07 Do you now accept that you threw a 2 and a 1 and you lost th... Don't get them mixed up, Bud. - Red Dwarf 00:13 Don't get them mixed up, Bud. (EXHALES) - Red Dwarf 00:16 (EXHALES) Find something to do!! - Red Dwarf 00:06 Find something to do!! Five! - Red Dwarf 00:14 Five! Floor? - Red Dwarf 00:24 Floor? Have a look out of that porthole there. - Red Dwarf 00:26 Have a look out of that porthole there. He just launched a mining torpedo at him! - Red Dwarf 00:20 He just launched a mining torpedo at him! Head count down, what's going on? Are you okay? - Red Dwarf 00:14 Head count down, what's going on? Are you okay? Here, boys, take me with you! - Red Dwarf 00:09 Here, boys, take me with you! Hey! - Red Dwarf 00:15 Hey! His corridor has got the best of everything! - Red Dwarf 00:11 His corridor has got the best of everything! How are we going to get him demoted now? - Red Dwarf 00:06 How are we going to get him demoted now? How did you know who was who? - Red Dwarf 00:07 How did you know who was who? How hot was that lift? - Red Dwarf 00:25 How hot was that lift? How many cards do you wanna change? - Red Dwarf 00:17 How many cards do you wanna change? How many cards you wanna change? - Red Dwarf 00:18 How many cards you wanna change? I wonder why it's called "Asclepius". - Red Dwarf 00:13 I wonder why it's called "Asclepius". If you miss, I get next go. - Red Dwarf 00:14 If you miss, I get next go. I'll get the other one! - Red Dwarf 00:05 I'll get the other one! It was a moose. - Red Dwarf 00:19 It was a moose. It's because I'm Hitler, isn't it? - Red Dwarf 00:27 It's because I'm Hitler, isn't it? It's me. Can I come in? - Red Dwarf 00:32 It's me. Can I come in? It's Sunday! It worked! - Red Dwarf 00:10 It's Sunday! It worked! Kryten! I want you to do a resentment drain on Howard. - Red Dwarf 00:12 Kryten! I want you to do a resentment drain on Howard. Kryten! - Red Dwarf 00:24 Kryten! Lights! - Red Dwarf 00:25 Lights! LISTER: ♪ To Ganymede and Titan Yes, sir, I've been around ♪ - Red Dwarf 00:16 LISTER: ♪ To Ganymede and Titan Yes, sir, I've been aro... Look at his eyes. They're spinning beach balls of doom. - Red Dwarf 00:31 Look at his eyes. They're spinning beach balls of doom. Looking at the EM spectrum, the scatterings are off the scale. - Red Dwarf 00:23 Looking at the EM spectrum, the scatterings are off the scal... More ship Intel coming through via the hack. - Red Dwarf 00:22 More ship Intel coming through via the hack. Move, Kryten. Go! - Red Dwarf 00:06 Move, Kryten. Go! Mr Hampton, sir! Resentment file! Neck port! - Red Dwarf 00:06 Mr Hampton, sir! Resentment file! Neck port! Mr Jesus, sir, good morning! - Red Dwarf 00:21 Mr Jesus, sir, good morning! My Dominator, forgive me, I implore you. - Red Dwarf 00:15 My Dominator, forgive me, I implore you. No way. Can someone help?! - Red Dwarf 00:13 No way. Can someone help?! Nothing of interest here. Let's try the next one. - Red Dwarf 00:28 Nothing of interest here. Let's try the next one. Okay! I accept it!! - Red Dwarf 00:08 Okay! I accept it!! Ooh! What was that? - Red Dwarf 00:21 Ooh! What was that? Our own torpedoes are on a collision course, Sire. - Red Dwarf 00:17 Our own torpedoes are on a collision course, Sire. Planet up ahead. - Red Dwarf 00:29 Planet up ahead. Prepare your cleaning instruments. - Red Dwarf 00:16 Prepare your cleaning instruments. RED DWARF - S11E04 - OFFICER RIMMER In memory of J.H.S. SAS MBE - Now there was a lad. - Red Dwarf 00:06 RED DWARF - S11E04 - OFFICER RIMMER In memory of J.H.S. SAS ... Red Dwarf - Season 11 Episode 01 - TWENTICA In memory of J.H.S. SAS MBE - Now there was a lad. - Red Dwarf 00:07 Red Dwarf - Season 11 Episode 01 - TWENTICA In memory of J.H... Right! - Red Dwarf 00:16 Right! Rimmsy, Rimmsy, Rimmsy! - Red Dwarf 00:29 Rimmsy, Rimmsy, Rimmsy! See ya! - Red Dwarf 00:06 See ya! ♪ Seemed so wrong - Red Dwarf 00:10 ♪ Seemed so wrong Sir! Are you okay? - Red Dwarf 00:05 Sir! Are you okay? Sir, let's fire them up and get them out of here! - Red Dwarf 00:05 Sir, let's fire them up and get them out of here! SNORES - Red Dwarf 00:21 SNORES Still nothing, sir? - Red Dwarf 00:28 Still nothing, sir? Subbuteo tournament this weekend, Kryten. - Red Dwarf 00:13 Subbuteo tournament this weekend, Kryten. Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. - Red Dwarf 00:12 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. The stasis booths are in there. - Red Dwarf 00:28 The stasis booths are in there. (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) - Red Dwarf 00:05 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) There, My Dominator. - Red Dwarf 00:15 There, My Dominator. There. That should do it. - Red Dwarf 00:14 There. That should do it. They're assuming the shapes of household objects - Red Dwarf 00:08 They're assuming the shapes of household objects They're gonna Kryten-ify us! - Red Dwarf 00:16 They're gonna Kryten-ify us! They've destabilised their whole ship, all four bulkheads. - Red Dwarf 00:07 They've destabilised their whole ship, all four bulkhea... This is a nightmare. - Red Dwarf 00:32 This is a nightmare. Wait a minute! - Red Dwarf 00:10 Wait a minute! Well, it's definitely not Kochanski. - Red Dwarf 00:06 Well, it's definitely not Kochanski. Well lookee here! Illegal contraband. - Red Dwarf 00:05 Well lookee here! Illegal contraband. Well, we should let him rest, sirs. He'll be raring to go in the morning. - Red Dwarf 00:17 Well, we should let him rest, sirs. He'll be raring to ... We're 5 minutes from orbit. - Red Dwarf 00:17 We're 5 minutes from orbit. We're updating to modern force! - Red Dwarf 00:20 We're updating to modern force! What a very strange day. - Red Dwarf 00:14 What a very strange day. What even is a mid-life crisis? - Red Dwarf 00:31 What even is a mid-life crisis?
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Cast

Lister - Craig Charles
Cat - Danny John-Jules
Rimmer - Chris Barrie
Kryten - Robert Llewellyn
Holly - Norman Lovett
All Cast