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Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

The posse meet three cat clerics who worship Lister as their God. Lister vows to help them as they're being hunted by Rodon, the ruthless feral cat leader who has vowed to wipe out all cats who worship anyone but him.

Director

Doug Naylor

Year

Genre

Box Office

N/A

Production

Baby Cow Productions,Grant Naylor Productions

Awards

N/A

Homepage

https://dave.uktv.co.uk/shows/red-dwarf-the-promised-land/

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Rimmer

Lister

Cat

Danny John-Jules

Kryten

Robert Llewellyn

Holly

Rodon

Brother Sol

Count Ludo

Sister Luna

Mandeep Dhillon

Sister Peanut

Protector

Hayley-Marie Axe

Baby Cat

Charlotte Aldhouse

View All Cast

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Explore 435 Clips

Our Feral King, I implore you,
I will tell you everything. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Our Feral King, I implore you, I will tell you everything.

What percentage of the universe
is made of dark matter? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

What percentage of the universe is made of dark matter?

Oh, I... Sorry, I didn't think it was
gonna be general knowledge. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Oh, I... Sorry, I didn't think it was gonna be general ...

(GROWLS) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

TOGETHER: Meow! - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

TOGETHER: Meow!

Oh, yeah, in fairness, it was...
it was a bad decision, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Oh, yeah, in fairness, it was... it was a bad decision,

My Feral King, I am sorry
to interrupt your torturing. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

My Feral King, I am sorry to interrupt your torturing.

We have arrested more rebels
who have been spreading - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

We have arrested more rebels who have been spreading

(HISSES) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Since I seized power,
there is no other god but me. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Since I seized power, there is no other god but me.

It is only if we embrace the teachings
of Cloister - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

It is only if we embrace the teachings of Cloister

(SNARLS AN D GROWLS) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

(SNARLS AN D GROWLS)

Let the clowder see insurrection
will not be tolerated. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Let the clowder see insurrection will not be tolerated.

We'll escape,
and one day return to free our people. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

We'll escape, and one day return to free our people.

(GARGLES) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

For some time now we've been growing
rather concerned about you. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

For some time now we've been growing rather concerned a...

I've noticed of late - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I've noticed of late

(AIR HISSES) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

It's only the odd ice-cream waffle
sandwich, some cheesy fries - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

It's only the odd ice-cream waffle sandwich, some chees...

Also, sir, you've been collecting
rather a lot ofjunk. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Also, sir, you've been collecting rather a lot ofjunk.

This isn'tjunk, this is antiques.
Salvage from Cargo Bay 15. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

This isn'tjunk, this is antiques. Salvage from Cargo Ba...

I've already found Music For Rocking
Dads, Knitting For Beginners, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I've already found Music For Rocking Dads, Knitting For...

Then perhaps I should use my Swedish
massage chair that doesn't have batteries. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Then perhaps I should use my Swedish massage chair that does...

The future of the human race
is entirely in your, well... - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

The future of the human race is entirely in your, well...

Dangﬁen - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I have a solution, sir,
to your last-human-alive dilemma. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I have a solution, sir, to your last-human-alive dilemma.

An issue that's clearly driving you
to the brink of insanity. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

An issue that's clearly driving you to the brink of ins...

Now, this is a little unconventional,
I grant you, but with the meditech - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Now, this is a little unconventional, I grant you, but with ...

Well, sir, what if you had
a sex-change operation? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Well, sir, what if you had a sex-change operation?

Have you been drying your head
in the tumble dryer again? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Have you been drying your head in the tumble dryer again?

With the meditech, making you a woman - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

With the meditech, making you a woman

Involving just a few snips
and a bit of folding. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Involving just a few snips and a bit of folding.

And with my long history with sheets,
you know how good I am at folding. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

And with my long history with sheets, you know how good I am...

Dude, what you're suggesting
is anatomically impossible. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Dude, what you're suggesting is anatomically impossible...

Let me put it this way - - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Let me put it this way -

Wait a minute. Are you saying
if I was a woman I wouldn't be hot? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Wait a minute. Are you saying if I was a woman I wouldn'...

Bud, if I was a woman,
you wouldn't be in no plane, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Bud, if I was a woman, you wouldn't be in no plane,

Your tongue would be hanging out
your mouth like an old dog. (PANTS) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Your tongue would be hanging out your mouth like an old dog....

In fact, this whole crazy idea
would have a better chance of working - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

In fact, this whole crazy idea would have a better chance of...

Wait, hold on. Are you saying that
you'd make a hotter woman than me? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Wait, hold on. Are you saying that you'd make a hotter ...

Cat, I'm not gonna
get in some stupid, macho - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Cat, I'm not gonna get in some stupid, macho

It's the brain, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

It's the brain,

I sometimes wonder
if you behave like a cretin on purpose, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I sometimes wonder if you behave like a cretin on purpose,

- Engaging lie mode.
- (BEEP) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

- Engaging lie mode. - (BEEP)

- Engaging lie mode.
- (BEEP) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

- Engaging lie mode. - (BEEP)

Not now, you rusty idiot.
I need you. Follow me. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Not now, you rusty idiot. I need you. Follow me.

That green dot thing on the scanner
screaming towards us - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

That green dot thing on the scanner screaming towards us

Well, it appears to be either
some kind of ship, or a missile. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Well, it appears to be either some kind of ship, or a missil...

- (CRACKLING)
- It's giving off - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

- (CRACKLING) - It's giving off

It's a long shot, sir, but have you
considered turning up the volume? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

It's a long shot, sir, but have you considered turning ...

(LOUD CRACKLING) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

(LOUD CRACKLING)

Er, the phrase is
based on the exploits of Aleck Hoag, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Er, the phrase is based on the exploits of Aleck Hoag,

That's as maybe. We still can't understand
this message, though, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

That's as maybe. We still can't understand this me...

The phrase is in fact
smarty-pants, sir. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

The phrase is in fact smarty-pants, sir.

- It was first used in 19...
- just fix the distortion - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

- It was first used in 19... - just fix the distortion

Distortion is usually caused
by some form of interference - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Distortion is usually caused by some form of interference

Big words, my mechanoid friend, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Big words, my mechanoid friend,

(BEEPING) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

We've reached an age now where
it's time to enjoy the home comforts - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

We've reached an age now where it's time to enjoy ...

Not board derelict ships - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Not board derelict ships

In fact, erase all memory
of the distress call from your memory. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

In fact, erase all memory of the distress call from your mem...

- Yes, sir.
- (BEEPING) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

- Yes, sir. - (BEEPING)

Did you erase the SOS distress call
from your memory? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Did you erase the SOS distress call from your memory?

Damn, why did I say that? Right, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Damn, why did I say that? Right,

- Yes, sir.
- (BEEPING) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

- Yes, sir. - (BEEPING)

Have you just clone
what I asked you to do? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Have you just clone what I asked you to do?

- Erasing distortion order, sir.
- (BEEPING) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

- Erasing distortion order, sir. - (BEEPING)

How did I get here?
We were in the corridor. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

How did I get here? We were in the corridor.

You see, I told you it wasn't alljunk
in the sleeping quarters. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

You see, I told you it wasn't alljunk in the sleeping q...

I refuse to even step into
that toxic cesspit of filth. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I refuse to even step into that toxic cesspit of filth.

I bet people couldn't believe - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I bet people couldn't believe

We're looking for a slot bigger than
the Incredible Hulk's butt crack. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

We're looking for a slot bigger than the Incredible Hul...

I always wondered what this was for. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I always wondered what this was for.

Higher, higher, higher, and push. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Higher, higher, higher, and push.

(WHIRRING AND BEEPING) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

(WHIRRING AND BEEPING)

(DIAL-UP BEEPS) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

(DIAL-UP BEEPS)

My name is Holly - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

My name is Holly

And Lister - a human. Or so he maintains. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

And Lister - a human. Or so he maintains.

Are you aware of the role I perform,
Hologram Ri/nmer? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Are you aware of the role I perform, Hologram Ri/nmer?

I'm also tasked with appraising
Red Dwarf's worth - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I'm also tasked with appraising Red Dwarf's worth

Obviously, this doesn't happen
while a ship - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Obviously, this doesn't happen while a ship

Or even performing duties
to an adequate level. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Or even performing duties to an adequate level.

Ah, but Holly, if I may, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Ah, but Holly, if I may,

Looking through the records,
Crewman Lister, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Looking through the records, Crewman Lister,

Red Dwarf will be retired
from active service. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Red Dwarf will be retired from active service.

As part of this process, the sh/jo 's
nuclear reactors will be dumped - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

As part of this process, the sh/jo 's nuclear reactors ...

I will be gin the dea ct/va t/on process. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I will be gin the dea ct/va t/on process.

I've no record of
a malfunctioning door in Airlock 7. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

I've no record of a malfunctioning door in Airlock 7.

He may have an IQ of 6,000 - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

He may have an IQ of 6,000

Can't hear a word we say. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Can't hear a word we say.

Red Dwarf: The Promised Land poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The posse meet three cat clerics who worship Lister as their God. Lister vows to help them as they're being hunted by Rodon, the ruthless feral cat leader who has vowed to wipe out all cats who worship anyone but him.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Doug Naylor

Writer: Rob Grant, Doug Naylor, Richard Naylor

Production: Baby Cow Productions,Grant Naylor Productions

Genre: comedy, sci-fi

Year: 2020

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 7.5

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 09 Apr 2020

Awards: N/A

Homepage: https://dave.uktv.co.uk/shows/red-dwarf-the-promised-land/

Also watch: Military Wives, The Congress, Bean, Slumdog Millionaire, Interstellar, Tenet, Old Boy, Oppenheimer, Snowpiercer, Parasite, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Joker, Black Swan, As Above, So Below, Me Before You, Green Book, The Sixth Sense, Knives Out