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According to the scriptures, he who possesses the sacred stone
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Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

According to the scriptures,he who possesses the sacred stone shall fend off his...

According to the scriptures,
he who possesses the sacred stone shall fend off his enemies
and lead his people to the promised land

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.004
According to the scriptures, he who possesses the sacred stone
00:00:04.052 --> 00:00:08.028
shall fend off his enemies and lead his people to the promised land.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
39
Timestamp in Movie
00:31:32
Uploaded
May 27, 2025
Genres
comedy, sci-fi
Production
Baby Cow Productions,Grant Naylor Productions

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Movie Summary

The posse meet three cat clerics who worship Lister as their God. Lister vows to help them as they're being hunted by Rodon, the ruthless feral cat leader who has vowed to wipe out all cats who worship anyone but him.
On first look, I thought it was serendibite, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:06
On first look, I thought it was serendibite,
But on closer inspection, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:06
But on closer inspection,
We are so blessed to have finally met our Holy Poppadom. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
We are so blessed to have finally met our Holy Poppadom.
(CYMBALS PLAY) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:15
(CYMBALS PLAY)
# David, David Lister - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:09
# David, David Lister
Sir, if you tell them the truth, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:05
Sir, if you tell them the truth,
Oh, you're right. Have to play along. Act like a god. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:06
Oh, you're right. Have to play along. Act like a god.
Act like a god? You've scarcely mastered human. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
Act like a god? You've scarcely mastered human.
- Hey, cat buds, are you being followed? - The Ferals! - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:05
- Hey, cat buds, are you being followed? - The Ferals!
They're here, and they will not rest until we have meowed our last. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:05
They're here, and they will not rest until we have meow...
We beseech you, Holy Poppadom, protect us. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
We beseech you, Holy Poppadom, protect us.
You know what? I've gotta help them. After all, they are my followers. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:06
You know what? I've gotta help them. After all, they ar...
My friends, be not afraid. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
My friends, be not afraid.
So it's you who shelter our runaway clerics. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:05
So it's you who shelter our runaway clerics.
I am the Commander of the Armies of the Feral Guards. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:05
I am the Commander of the Armies of the Feral Guards.
General of the Fearless Legions, Feral King, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:13
General of the Fearless Legions, Feral King,
Come on now, give it up. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
Come on now, give it up.
And after you're dead, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:07
And after you're dead,
A "pamper me" bath and candle set often hits the mark, too. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
A "pamper me" bath and candle set often hits the m...
You can't harm anyone any more, Rodon. Look who is with us. Cloister, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:06
You can't harm anyone any more, Rodon. Look who is with...