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Well, if you're not Cloister
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Red Dwarf: The Promised Land

Well, if you're not Cloister, then who the hell are you?

Well, if you're not Cloister, then who the hell are you?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.032
Well, if you're not Cloister,
00:00:03.044 --> 00:00:05.044
then who the hell are you?
Duration
5 seconds
Views
23
Timestamp in Movie
01:13:43
Uploaded
May 27, 2025
Genres
comedy, sci-fi
Production
Baby Cow Productions,Grant Naylor Productions

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Movie Summary

The posse meet three cat clerics who worship Lister as their God. Lister vows to help them as they're being hunted by Rodon, the ruthless feral cat leader who has vowed to wipe out all cats who worship anyone but him.
I'm a chicken-soup vending-machine repairman. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
I'm a chicken-soup vending-machine repairman.
You're... You're in charge of repairing soup machines? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:06
You're... You're in charge of repairing soup machi...
So Rimmer would be like, er, "Pass me a 14B," - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:09
So Rimmer would be like, er, "Pass me a 14B,"
"That clogged-up nozzle could be iced up. Forget the 14B, mate. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
"That clogged-up nozzle could be iced up. Forget the 14...
"I think you'll need a 14D." - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:12
"I think you'll need a 14D."
Just flukes, or coincidence, - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:06
Just flukes, or coincidence,
- And they're not your disciples? - Hell, no! - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
- And they're not your disciples? - Hell, no!
- You're just a ship of fools. - Yes! - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
- You're just a ship of fools. - Yes!
No. Butmwhat about me? You gave me the gift of speech. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:05
No. Butmwhat about me? You gave me the gift of speech.
(MOUTHS SILENTLY) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:08
(MOUTHS SILENTLY)
- Our time here is clone. - What of your brother? - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
- Our time here is clone. - What of your brother?
I've had a hard life! I ain't no king like you. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
I've had a hard life! I ain't no king like you.
Crazy teeth, mad hair. There was no place for him. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
Crazy teeth, mad hair. There was no place for him.
And on the day you left, I vowed I'd never be called uncool again. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:05
And on the day you left, I vowed I'd never be called un...
Well, except the one time we landed on Backwards World and I needed... - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
Well, except the one time we landed on Backwards World and I...
Blow the Red Dwarf - and everything on it - to hell and back. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:05
Blow the Red Dwarf - and everything on it - to hell and back...
He couldn't have told me that before I made my choice?! - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:04
He couldn't have told me that before I made my choice?!
My Feral King, leaving an enemy to be killed later by a deadly device - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:08
My Feral King, leaving an enemy to be killed later by a dead...
Only then will they realise there is no Cloister. - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:05
Only then will they realise there is no Cloister.
- Guys, I think we're in trouble. - (BEEPING) - Red Dwarf: The Promised Land 00:10
- Guys, I think we're in trouble. - (BEEPING)