C'mon, throw in a buck! Uh-uh, I don't tip. You don't tip? Nah, I don't believe in it. You...

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck! Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip. Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip? Mr. Pink: Nah, I don't believe in it. Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping? Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit. Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money that she can quit. Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever tip? Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I'll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job. Mr. Blue: Hey, our girl was nice. Mr. Pink: She was okay. She wasn't anything special. Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick? Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.

Come on, throw in a buck. Uh-uh. I don't tip. You don't tip? No, I don't believe in it. You don't believe in tipping? You know what these chicks make? They make shit. Don't give me that. She don't make enough, she can quit. I don't even know a fuckin' Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me just get this straight. You don't ever tip, huh? I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, I mean I'll tip if somebody really deserves a tip. If they really put forth the effort, I'll give 'em something extra, but I mean this tipping automatically is for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're doing their job. - Hey, this girl was nice. - She was okay. - She wasn't anything special. - What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick? - I'd go over 12 percent for that. - Look, I ordered coffee. We've been here a long fuckin' time. She's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times. Six times? What if she's too fuckin' busy? Words "Too fuckin' busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary. Excuse me, Mr Pink, but the last fuckin' thing you need is another cup of coffee. Jesus Christ, I mean these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage and when I did I wasn't lucky enough to have a job society deemed tip-worthy. But you don't care they're counting on your tips to live. You know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin playing just for the waitresses. You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job. So's working at McDonald's but you don't feel the need to tip them, do you? Why not? They're serving you food. But no, society says, "Don't tip these guys here," "but tip these guys over here." That's bullshit. Waitressing is the number-one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get and make a living on. The reason is because of their tips. Fuck all that. Jesus Christ! I mean I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips. That's fucked up. That ain't my fault. You know it appears waitresses are one of the groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. I mean, if you show me a piece of paper that says they shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. What I won't do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you're giving me, I got two words for that: learn to fuckin' type. If you expect me to help out with the rent, you're in for a fuckin' surprise. He's convinced me. Give me my dollar back. Hey, leave the dollars there. All right, ramblers, let's get ramblin'.