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Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up

"Fuck..." Which is what you saywhen you see a sobriety checkpoint

"Fuck..." Which is what you say
when you see a sobriety checkpoint

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.627
"Fuck..."
00:00:03.169 --> 00:00:06.131
Which is what you say when you see a sobriety checkpoint.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
76
Timestamp in Movie
00:06:08
Uploaded
Jun 22, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Taillight TV

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Movie Summary

Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese.
And I get up there and the cop goes, - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:08
And I get up there and the cop goes,
You pour that much Scotch on a tongue, - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:06
You pour that much Scotch on a tongue,
He goes, "Well, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer," - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:06
He goes, "Well, I need you to blow into this breathalyz...
I'm not, and I'll tell you why, - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:17
I'm not, and I'll tell you why,
That's an agility test, and I'm not very goddamn agile, all right? - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:06
That's an agility test, and I'm not very goddamn a...
I'm not, and it's not fair to me, - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:05
I'm not, and it's not fair to me,
I'm not a 21-year-old, puking cheap tequila through my nose. - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:05
I'm not a 21-year-old, puking cheap tequila through my ...
I'm a 61-year-old raging alcoholic, motherfucker." - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:09
I'm a 61-year-old raging alcoholic, motherfucker."
We go back to O'Leary's Pub where this whole fucking thing started. - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:05
We go back to O'Leary's Pub where this whole fucki...
If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail, how about that? - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:05
If you can beat me at darts, you can take me to fucking jail...
I got to go this year for the first time in my career to do stand-up in Europe, and I did shows in Amsterdam, Edinburgh, Scotland, and London. - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:04
I got to go this year for the first time in my career to do ...
And when I was in Edinburgh, - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:06
And when I was in Edinburgh,
Not because they try to say something funny. It's just the words they say, whatever the fuck they say just cracks me the fuck up. - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:04
Not because they try to say something funny. It's just ...
So I'm having breakfast in this restaurant - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:08
So I'm having breakfast in this restaurant
I only have the room key. I left everything in my room, - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:06
I only have the room key. I left everything in my room,
I'll get some money. I'll come back over and pay you." - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:09
I'll get some money. I'll come back over and pay y...
And I did these shows in London, - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:05
And I did these shows in London,
So I really had to call and promote these shows - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:06
So I really had to call and promote these shows
This is what this DJ says to me: - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:05
This is what this DJ says to me:
Every time a celebrity calls our station, - Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 00:12
Every time a celebrity calls our station,