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Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Comedian Rose Matafeo has kissed nearly 10 men in her life, AKA she's a total horndog. But what is horniness. Is it that intangible essence of excitement and adventure that has inspired humankind since the dawn of time. An underst...

Director

Barbara Wiltshire

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N/A

Production

Avalon Television

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But it is at the bottom, it's,
it's worse than being a straight man - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

But it is at the bottom, it's, it's worse than bei...

But what it means is that given
all of the options in the world - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

But what it means is that given all of the options in the wo...

What kind of poor
decision-making skills - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

What kind of poor decision-making skills

Tough time to be a straight
woman, I'll say that much - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Tough time to be a straight woman, I'll say that much

So, I've got a lot of straight male friends, yeah,
because I am an ally. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

So, I've got a lot of straight male friends, yeah, beca...

And they say, they're like, Rose,
it's a tough time to be a decent man. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And they say, they're like, Rose, it's a tough tim...

Yeah, do you know, yeah,
you know what's a little bit harder, is trying to be - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Yeah, do you know, yeah, you know what's a little bit h...

And the only accurate way I've come
to describing what that truly feels like, - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And the only accurate way I've come to describing what ...

And I but I still love men, I
love to kiss them, I - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And I but I still love men, I love to kiss them, I

I don't even think it's necessarily the fact that I like men, - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I don't even think it's necessarily the fact that...

An it's a very specific type,
I don't know if you ha yeah, I think you have them - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

An it's a very specific type, I don't know if you ...

And, I don't know, I'm just so easily forgiving of men,
and also on the flip side, - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And, I don't know, I'm just so easily forgiving of...

Oh my God,
if a man can show a moderate level of skill in literally anything, - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Oh my God, if a man can show a moderate level of skill in li...

I feel like a man if I see like a man leaf-blowing,
if the man like knows like the right - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I feel like a man if I see like a man leaf-blowing, if the m...

If a man can fold a fitted bedsheet bellissimo, yeah. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

If a man can fold a fitted bedsheet bellissimo, yeah.

I genuinely think that men with this shit together
could be quite a popular porn category. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I genuinely think that men with this shit together could be ...

That would be insane. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

That would be insane.

I'm sorry, what? - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I'm sorry, what?

It was like, I tell you what,
his name was Calum, let's call Calum - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

It was like, I tell you what, his name was Calum, let's...

And he was I don't want to say ugly,
that's a very, that's a very - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And he was I don't want to say ugly, that's a very...

Do you know that do you know that bit in an apricot that goes in? - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Do you know that do you know that bit in an apricot that...

Little wrap-around pair of Dirty Dogs covering that shit up. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Little wrap-around pair of Dirty Dogs covering that shit up.

His face was symmetrical but
in a bad way, yeah. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

His face was symmetrical but in a bad way, yeah.

So, he wasn't like my type but by the end of that hour long boat ride - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

So, he wasn't like my type but by the end of that hour...

Because if he can drive one it's
the sexiest thing I could ima - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Because if he can drive one it's the sexiest thing I co...

That's fucking bullshit cause there's like three hundred people in here. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

That's fucking bullshit cause there's like three...

I'm waiting for the day where I ask that
and I just see like a captain in the crowd - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I'm waiting for the day where I ask that and I just see...

I'd be after him, right, because
if you can drive a boat - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I'd be after him, right, because if you can drive a boa...

You can have kidnapped me,
you could have kidnapped me - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

You can have kidnapped me, you could have kidnapped me

That's what you do. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

That's what you do.

But I can pinpoint when these feelings started I think,
and I feel like all these obsessive - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

But I can pinpoint when these feelings started I think, and ...

And I was writing the show, obviously the penny dropped,
obviously that coincides with - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And I was writing the show, obviously the penny dropped, obv...

So obviously there was a connection between
these obsessive feelings and, you know - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

So obviously there was a connection between these obsessive ...

So, I want to do this thing. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

So, I want to do this thing.

I think you guys will be up for it,
I want to take us back in time. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I think you guys will be up for it, I want to take us back i...

I want to take us on a little time travel trip,
if that is okay with you guys? - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I want to take us on a little time travel trip, if that is o...

I'm gonna take you back to the
ancient year of 2005, okay. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I'm gonna take you back to the ancient year of 2005, ok...

We've got a few visual aids
here for you. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

We've got a few visual aids here for you.

And also we've got some audio kind of,
to kind of key you back into 2005, alright? - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And also we've got some audio kind of, to kind of key y...

2005, the OC makes its broadcast premiere on New Zealand television - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

2005, the OC makes its broadcast premiere on New Zealand...

Hell no! - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I got my first period at a school camp,
of all places, I remember my friend - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I got my first period at a school camp, of all places, I rem...

So, not only a big day for me where I became a woman,
but also a crack-up entertainer. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

So, not only a big day for me where I became a woman, but al...

And it was such an interesting time to
kind of start this journey because 2005 - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And it was such an interesting time to kind of start this jo...

Does anyone remember the
early 2000s Internet? - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Does anyone remember the early 2000s Internet?

Oh my God, do you remember it
was fucking crazy, okay - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Oh my God, do you remember it was fucking crazy, okay

Our parents didn't know what the fuck we were up to on the internet. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Our parents didn't know what the fuck we were up to on...

It was like the wild, wild
west out there - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

It was like the wild, wild west out there

I invented the dark
web, - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I invented the dark web,

I was like, oh, this is the dark
web now, that's - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I was like, oh, this is the dark web now, that's

So, for a brief moment in the 2000s,
I don't know if anyone remembers this - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

So, for a brief moment in the 2000s, I don't know if an...

I was,
a horny teenager with access to the early unsupervised Internet - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I was, a horny teenager with access to the early unsupervise...

The only problem was that boys
did not like me. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

The only problem was that boys did not like me.

I had curly hair, I had curly
hair as a teenager, still do - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I had curly hair, I had curly hair as a teenager, still do

I wanna know, I still feel like,
as a curly-haired person in this era, - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I wanna know, I still feel like, as a curly-haired person in...

There always is, because
it always comes from - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

There always is, because it always comes from

So it'd always be like a middle-aged woman who's like, Rose, oh,
my God, I lo - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

So it'd always be like a middle-aged woman who's...

Ooh, they look gorgeous and you know what you are so brave,
you are so brave. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Ooh, they look gorgeous and you know what you are so brave, ...

And I think it was the curly hair,
it was also like as a teenager - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And I think it was the curly hair, it was also like as a tee...

I've had that since birth. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I've had that since birth.

I had to find out that I have
completely flat feet at school, - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I had to find out that I have completely flat feet at school...

I will say this, I had a really,
as a teenager I had a really bad case - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I will say this, I had a really, as a teenager I had a reall...

Nobody describes a
man as being a bitch - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Nobody describes a man as being a bitch

But it's rooted in this fucked up expectation that women should always be - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

But it's rooted in this fucked up expectation that...

But for men, the exact opposite is true because resting bitchface,
that's your default face, fellas. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

But for men, the exact opposite is true because resting...

But and I hate the double standard of that,
but part of me, honestly part of me deep down - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

But and I hate the double standard of that, but part of me, ...

When I see a man who's always smiling I get
the same feeling in the pit of my stomach - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

When I see a man who's always smiling I get the same fe...

I don't trust anything
where you can see - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I don't trust anything where you can see

I mean, that took four hours to
edit, worth it? - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I mean, that took four hours to edit, worth it?

Sweet, that's what I thought it was,
the curly hair and the flat feet - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Sweet, that's what I thought it was, the curly hair and...

That was until my friends from school came
and saw this show and they were like, Rose, - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

That was until my friends from school came and saw this show...

And I was like, I don't see
the connection there, like - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And I was like, I don't see the connection there, like

And they are so easily impressed by any teenage
girl who knows literally anything about any - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And they are so easily impressed by any teenage girl who kno...

So I'd always have the same boys all the time,
they'd always come up to me - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

So I'd always have the same boys all the time, they...

And the problem is it was the only attention I ever got from boys - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And the problem is it was the only attention I ever got from...

I'd be like, yeah, I have, I
guess I'm not like other girls. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I'd be like, yeah, I have, I guess I'm not like ot...

That is a real tip to any young
girls out there, always say that - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

That is a real tip to any young girls out there, always say ...

The raunchiest thing I ever got literally online,
I will tell you this, is, - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

The raunchiest thing I ever got literally online, I will tel...

I got kicked a friend's Ferdinand message
board because in the forum I posted a post - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I got kicked a friend's Ferdinand message board because...

Oh, how I wish I could show that
moderator what the Internet has become. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Oh, how I wish I could show that moderator what the Internet...

I can watch porn in a library
, and I do! - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I can watch porn in a library , and I do!

Uh and I that's actually something I wish,
so as a teenager - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

Uh and I that's actually something I wish, so as a teen...

You'd think that would be the first thing
horny teenager with access to the Internet - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

You'd think that would be the first thing horny teenage...

I feel like if I had I think I would have had a chance of like,
like maybe like - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

I feel like if I had I think I would have had a chance of...

And that's it's always,
all hap it's all coming out now, that's - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And that's it's always, all hap it's all comi...

The closest thing I ever got to
it was a fucking accident, okay. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

The closest thing I ever got to it was a fucking accident, o...

That sounds more sinister
than the story. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

That sounds more sinister than the story.

It was an accident, and I
remember it so clearly - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

It was an accident, and I remember it so clearly

And I bumped into a set of drawers that were at exact crotch height. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And I bumped into a set of drawers that were at exact crotch...

And I remember bumping into
them softly, walking away. - Rose Matafeo: Horndog

And I remember bumping into them softly, walking away.

Rose Matafeo: Horndog poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Comedian Rose Matafeo has kissed nearly 10 men in her life, AKA she's a total horndog. But what is horniness. Is it that intangible essence of excitement and adventure that has inspired humankind since the dawn of time. An underst...

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Barbara Wiltshire

Writer: Rose Matafeo

Production: Avalon Television

Genre: comedy

Year: 2020

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.5

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 20 Aug 2020

Awards: N/A

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