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They put me on so many diets, the rice
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Roseanne Barr: Cancel This!

They put me on somany diets, the rice Diet, the birdseed diet

They put me on so
many diets, the rice Diet, the birdseed diet

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.216
They put me on so many diets, the rice
00:00:03.269 --> 00:00:05.585
Diet, the birdseed diet.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
20
Timestamp in Movie
00:19:07
Uploaded
Apr 15, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

For the first time in sixteen years, comedic icon Roseanne Barr returns to the stage for one night only on Fox Nation, with no subject off limits.
They put me on every damn diet, and none of them worked. - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:06
They put me on every damn diet, and none of them worked.
Finally, my mom said she's going to-- she - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:10
Finally, my mom said she's going to-- she
She's, like, I found a wonderful gentleman-- - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:13
She's, like, I found a wonderful gentleman--
So she goes, so I don't know if this rings true for any of you. - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:06
So she goes, so I don't know if this rings true for any...
But the first thing that went in my mind is-- - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:16
But the first thing that went in my mind is--
And by the way she answered-- because it took - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:10
And by the way she answered-- because it took
And it was stu bernstein, that big fat guy, that big fat slob - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:08
And it was stu bernstein, that big fat guy, that big fat slo...
And all of them had eyes that went like this, - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:07
And all of them had eyes that went like this,
The whole family's eyes, wah-wah, wah-wah, they never - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:08
The whole family's eyes, wah-wah, wah-wah, they never
And they were fat, not that I should say - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:09
And they were fat, not that I should say
And, plus, he's a chronic masturbator, - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:09
And, plus, he's a chronic masturbator,
The guy, he thought he was disguising it, - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:10
The guy, he thought he was disguising it,
"well, let's all go down to the dairy queen - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:21
"well, let's all go down to the dairy queen
I'm not, you know. - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:08
I'm not, you know.
[audience laughs] - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:11
[audience laughs]
And she waits till the last minute, my mom, to tell me, - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:19
And she waits till the last minute, my mom, to tell me,
So we go in there, and he rolls over - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:08
So we go in there, and he rolls over
And he rolls over there and starts going like this. - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:06
And he rolls over there and starts going like this.
"mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, oh, mm-hmm." - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:10
"mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, oh, mm-hmm."
"mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! 00:09
"mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.