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Russell Howard: Recalibrate

"Dear Tesco, not being funny,but I was going like that, and suddenly there was jam on the...

"Dear Tesco, not being funny,
but I was going like that, and suddenly there was jam on the table

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.004
"Dear Tesco, not being funny, but I was going like that,
00:00:05.048 --> 00:00:09.028
and suddenly there was jam on the table.
Duration
10 seconds
Views
43
Timestamp in Movie
00:22:57
Uploaded
Oct 28, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Avalon Television

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Movie Summary

Self-deprecating comic Russell Howard plows ahead through politics, porn, social media and his own shortcomings. Yet he somehow keeps it positive.
Some people can't eat bananas. "Where's it going? Where's it going?" - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
Some people can't eat bananas. "Where's it go...
Like, my little cousin... This killed me the other day. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
Like, my little cousin... This killed me the other day.
He was given a note from his school of what to do - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:08
He was given a note from his school of what to do
You can't even go to the fucking zoo now without being terrified. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
You can't even go to the fucking zoo now without being ...
It said on this note, "Run or hide." - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:07
It said on this note, "Run or hide."
What did they think he was going to do? "Shit. It's ISIS." - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:13
What did they think he was going to do? "Shit. It'...
* Kumbaya * - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:08
* Kumbaya *
Chinese burns. Wedgies. Leaning back on your chair at school. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:07
Chinese burns. Wedgies. Leaning back on your chair at school...
Do you remember those weird rumors? "Don't lean back on your chair, Russ. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
Do you remember those weird rumors? "Don't lean ba...
There was a boy that did it once and now he's ‘spastamicated.'" - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:13
There was a boy that did it once and now he's ‘spastami...
"Pick a number. Pick a color. Now pick a number." - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:11
"Pick a number. Pick a color. Now pick a number."
Color!" "Red." "R-E-D. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
Color!" "Red." "R-E-D.
You're a dick." - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:09
You're a dick."
I fucking love erosion. I gotta set my sack free." - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:11
I fucking love erosion. I gotta set my sack free."
And then the last thing you'd want - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
And then the last thing you'd want
"Some shitty pants here. It says ‘Russell Joseph Howard.' - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:13
"Some shitty pants here. It says ‘Russell Joseph Howard...
The rest of our family were listening in to everything we said. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
The rest of our family were listening in to everything we sa...
Every time I used to speak to a girl, - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
Every time I used to speak to a girl,
"What are you doing, Russell?" "l'm not doing anything." - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:12
"What are you doing, Russell?" "l'm not ...
I had to get a lamp and go like that. "Whoa!" - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
I had to get a lamp and go like that. "Whoa!"