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Five points to Gryffindor, you heaven-sent angels
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Russell Howard: Recalibrate

Five points to Gryffindor,you heaven-sent angels

Five points to Gryffindor,
you heaven-sent angels

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.004
Five points to Gryffindor, you heaven-sent angels.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
19
Timestamp in Movie
00:39:59
Uploaded
Oct 28, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Avalon Television

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Movie Summary

Self-deprecating comic Russell Howard plows ahead through politics, porn, social media and his own shortcomings. Yet he somehow keeps it positive.
I can't believe you're doing this, you angel sent from above." - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:08
I can't believe you're doing this, you angel sent ...
Do you know why we're like that? 'Cause you've got our brain in your mouth. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
Do you know why we're like that? 'Cause you'v...
There's been times on this tour when my penis has looked like an '80s joystick. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
There's been times on this tour when my penis has looke...
It's meant to make you feel like you're making love to the lady. It doesn't. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
It's meant to make you feel like you're making lov...
It makes you feel like you're on the shoulder of some bloke you don't know - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:07
It makes you feel like you're on the shoulder of some b...
I say we get rid of porn for a year. Let's see if we can recalibrate. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
I say we get rid of porn for a year. Let's see if we ca...
L've got an idea. This is my great idea. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
L've got an idea. This is my great idea.
To be honest, what l'm about to say is probably going to get a similar reaction. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
To be honest, what l'm about to say is probably going t...
We get kids to watch their parents make love. That is my idea. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
We get kids to watch their parents make love. That is my ide...
If l'm watching my mum and dad go at it, it's gonna be sweet. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
If l'm watching my mum and dad go at it, it's gonn...
You'll notice my bush is positively Wookiee-like. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
You'll notice my bush is positively Wookiee-like.
Having a smashing evening, aren't we, David?" - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:06
Having a smashing evening, aren't we, David?"
To be honest with you, it's fairly weird - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:07
To be honest with you, it's fairly weird
Luckily he's got a lazy eye and he can't focus." - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
Luckily he's got a lazy eye and he can't focus.&qu...
I think it would be tender, you know? My mum and dad love each other. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
I think it would be tender, you know? My mum and dad love ea...
And my dad is always complimenting my mum and bragging her. - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
And my dad is always complimenting my mum and bragging her.
My dad's always like, "Whoa! Bloody hell. Your mum, eh? Whoo-hoo!" - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:10
My dad's always like, "Whoa! Bloody hell. Your mum...
He's shagging Mum. Give her one for me, you lucky bastard. Go on." - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
He's shagging Mum. Give her one for me, you lucky basta...
"Do you know the best thing about your mother's ass? - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:05
"Do you know the best thing about your mother's as...
I can slap your mum's ass, go and make myself a cup of tea, - Russell Howard: Recalibrate 00:08
I can slap your mum's ass, go and make myself a cup of ...