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Russell Peters: Deported

The Deported World Tour kicked off in Australia and New Zealand in February 2018 and has already traveled to over 29 cities in 20 countries and been seen by over 100,000 fans worldwide. The tour will continue well into 2019 and Pe...

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David Higby

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[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

And I didn't realize how
Mexican she was until she - Russell Peters: Deported

And I didn't realize how Mexican she was until she

Do you realize my son
is Mexican and Indian? - Russell Peters: Deported

Do you realize my son is Mexican and Indian?

[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

When my son starts
walking, we're going - Russell Peters: Deported

When my son starts walking, we're going

Do you remember how
many months it took - Russell Peters: Deported

Do you remember how many months it took

Four to six months on your
first pregnancy, the woman - Russell Peters: Deported

Four to six months on your first pregnancy, the woman

My girlfriend, she started
the show after one month. - Russell Peters: Deported

My girlfriend, she started the show after one month.

[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

That's only because you pulled
your pag lower, that's all. - Russell Peters: Deported

That's only because you pulled your pag lower, that...

Gouldet and Harlet? - Russell Peters: Deported

Gouldet and Harlet?

Identical twins,
those are the only-- - Russell Peters: Deported

Identical twins, those are the only--

What you got are two kids
with the same birthday. - Russell Peters: Deported

What you got are two kids with the same birthday.

Have you ever had a
woman go, so would - Russell Peters: Deported

Have you ever had a woman go, so would

If she opened her shirt and
an elbow on an ankle fell out, - Russell Peters: Deported

If she opened her shirt and an elbow on an ankle fell out,

And I started getting scared
when I thought my girlfriend - Russell Peters: Deported

And I started getting scared when I thought my girlfriend

But I started
settling into the idea - Russell Peters: Deported

But I started settling into the idea

I was like, if I
have twin girls-- - Russell Peters: Deported

I was like, if I have twin girls--

If I have twin girls, these
are going to be my daughters, - Russell Peters: Deported

If I have twin girls, these are going to be my daughters,

Identical twins, that's like
bragging rights for you, - Russell Peters: Deported

Identical twins, that's like bragging rights for you,

[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

My balls are so strong,
they made one kid - Russell Peters: Deported

My balls are so strong, they made one kid

For the people that are in
relationships and your girl - Russell Peters: Deported

For the people that are in relationships and your girl

Men, you need to learn
how to fake orgasms. - Russell Peters: Deported

Men, you need to learn how to fake orgasms.

Sperm face, do you have-- - Russell Peters: Deported

Sperm face, do you have--

[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

Men need to learn how
to fake orgasms, that's - Russell Peters: Deported

Men need to learn how to fake orgasms, that's

First of all, women don't need
to know how to fake orgasms - Russell Peters: Deported

First of all, women don't need to know how to fake orga...

Because here's the
problem with men, - Russell Peters: Deported

Because here's the problem with men,

We're like, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. - Russell Peters: Deported

We're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

And she's like ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, OK, ow, ow, ow, ow. - Russell Peters: Deported

And she's like ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, OK, ow, ow, ow, ow.

All we see is-- - Russell Peters: Deported

All we see is--

Er, er, er, ow,
ow, er, er, ow, ow, - Russell Peters: Deported

Er, er, er, ow, ow, er, er, ow, ow,

And then you are going,
yeah, I did that. - Russell Peters: Deported

And then you are going, yeah, I did that.

When it comes to faking
an orgasm with a woman, - Russell Peters: Deported

When it comes to faking an orgasm with a woman,

I have made up a
list of suggestions. - Russell Peters: Deported

I have made up a list of suggestions.

I recommend if you're going to
fake an orgasm with a woman, - Russell Peters: Deported

I recommend if you're going to fake an orgasm with a wo...

That'd fucking
weird if you just-- - Russell Peters: Deported

That'd fucking weird if you just--

[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

So you should be behind
her having sex with her-- - Russell Peters: Deported

So you should be behind her having sex with her--

I recommend you're
behind the woman, - Russell Peters: Deported

I recommend you're behind the woman,

Because when you're
behind a woman, - Russell Peters: Deported

Because when you're behind a woman,

You never see a horse
going [TROTTING NOISES] - Russell Peters: Deported

You never see a horse going [TROTTING NOISES]

You guys are fucking obviously. - Russell Peters: Deported

You guys are fucking obviously.

Wait, like as in you've got
to go to court tomorrow? - Russell Peters: Deported

Wait, like as in you've got to go to court tomorrow?

That was like 10
different versions - Russell Peters: Deported

That was like 10 different versions

I'm going I'm going to
prove to every woman in here - Russell Peters: Deported

I'm going I'm going to prove to every woman in her...

OK, Shabina, you ever doing it
with Sohill and he's behind you - Russell Peters: Deported

OK, Shabina, you ever doing it with Sohill and he's beh...

And you're thinking, oh,
my little SoSo's got-- - Russell Peters: Deported

And you're thinking, oh, my little SoSo's got--

Here's what happens
ladies, we get behind you, - Russell Peters: Deported

Here's what happens ladies, we get behind you,

We're like this,
yeah, all right. - Russell Peters: Deported

We're like this, yeah, all right.

[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

And don't act like you do
all kinds of fancy shit - Russell Peters: Deported

And don't act like you do all kinds of fancy shit

We all know once you're in
a relationship for a while, - Russell Peters: Deported

We all know once you're in a relationship for a while,

That's all there is,
it's three moves. - Russell Peters: Deported

That's all there is, it's three moves.

And then my turn,
that's what happens. - Russell Peters: Deported

And then my turn, that's what happens.

And here's some good reasons
as to why you should fake - Russell Peters: Deported

And here's some good reasons as to why you should fake

I could tell, because
you've got a thin face - Russell Peters: Deported

I could tell, because you've got a thin face

[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

Because my girl when
she was pregnant, - Russell Peters: Deported

Because my girl when she was pregnant,

I'm like, I physically
don't have enough equipment - Russell Peters: Deported

I'm like, I physically don't have enough equipment

And I go, no, because
she gets on top - Russell Peters: Deported

And I go, no, because she gets on top

[SMACKING SOUNDS] - Russell Peters: Deported

[SMACKING SOUNDS]

It's like that scene
in "Back to the Future" - Russell Peters: Deported

It's like that scene in "Back to the Future"

And when it comes time
where you feel like now - Russell Peters: Deported

And when it comes time where you feel like now

All right, and it has to
be a noise that you're - Russell Peters: Deported

All right, and it has to be a noise that you're

No, that's-- That's
not it, all right. - Russell Peters: Deported

No, that's-- That's not it, all right.

It's got to be big and-- - Russell Peters: Deported

It's got to be big and--

I go [SLAP SOUND],,
and then I go, ah! - Russell Peters: Deported

I go [SLAP SOUND],, and then I go, ah!

Because I'm never going to
make that noise ever in my day. - Russell Peters: Deported

Because I'm never going to make that noise ever in my d...

Not unless I'm
doing an impression - Russell Peters: Deported

Not unless I'm doing an impression

Russell Peters, LA Times,
can I get a quote, ah! - Russell Peters: Deported

Russell Peters, LA Times, can I get a quote, ah!

[BLUBBERING] - Russell Peters: Deported

And then she'll be like, wow,
that was a good one, huh? - Russell Peters: Deported

And then she'll be like, wow, that was a good one, huh?

Pay attention though,
a couple of seconds - Russell Peters: Deported

Pay attention though, a couple of seconds

You go, no, no, that's because
I shot that one way up there. - Russell Peters: Deported

You go, no, no, that's because I shot that one way up t...

Whatever you do, don't burp,
because it's going to come out. - Russell Peters: Deported

Whatever you do, don't burp, because it's going to...

You know, Indian parents,
like the NRI Indians, - Russell Peters: Deported

You know, Indian parents, like the NRI Indians,

You may not believe me,
but you guys are far more - Russell Peters: Deported

You may not believe me, but you guys are far more

Here's the problem with the
Indians that left India, - Russell Peters: Deported

Here's the problem with the Indians that left India,

[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

They hang on to
shit that doesn't - Russell Peters: Deported

They hang on to shit that doesn't

And their whole
reason for leaving - Russell Peters: Deported

And their whole reason for leaving

They have the kids born
and raised in America, - Russell Peters: Deported

They have the kids born and raised in America,

But it's not going to be my
focus, because there's so - Russell Peters: Deported

But it's not going to be my focus, because there's...

I mean, if I'm going to
get with an Indian girl, - Russell Peters: Deported

I mean, if I'm going to get with an Indian girl,

At least over there we
got way more choice. - Russell Peters: Deported

At least over there we got way more choice.

But son-- this is the
bullshit they pull on them-- - Russell Peters: Deported

But son-- this is the bullshit they pull on them--

[LAUGHTER] - Russell Peters: Deported

Here's what Indian parents
need to understand, - Russell Peters: Deported

Here's what Indian parents need to understand,

Russell Peters: Deported poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The Deported World Tour kicked off in Australia and New Zealand in February 2018 and has already traveled to over 29 cities in 20 countries and been seen by over 100,000 fans worldwide. The tour will continue well into 2019 and Pe...

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: David Higby

Writer: Russell Peters

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2020

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.3

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 17 Jan 2020

Awards: N/A

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