Carol, did I ever tell you why I married her? Yes, Sam, you told me many, many... Her...

[first lines] Sam Stone: Carol, did I ever tell you why I married her? Carol: Yes, Sam, you told me many, many... Sam Stone: Her father was very, very rich, and very, very sick. The doctors assured me he'd be dead any minute. There wasn't a second to lose! I rushed right out and married the boss's daughter. He was so sick, it was like the Angel of Death was sitting in the room with him, watching the clock. They pulled the plug on him... he wheezed and shook for about an hour... and then... he stabilized. The son-of-a-bitch just got older and sicker. And older, and sicker, and older and sicker...! Waiter: More coffee, sir? Sam Stone: No! [the waiter leaves] Sam Stone: I couldn't wait any longer, so I went out and made my own fortune. The old fart hung in there for 15 years. Finally died of natural causes. I want the rest of that money! His money, her money, it's my money!

CAROL, DID I TELL YOU WHY I MARRIED HER? YES, SAM, MANY, MANY-- HER FATHER WAS VERY, VERY RICH AND VERY, VERY SICK. THE DOCTORS ASSURED ME HE'D BE DEAD ANY MINUTE. THERE WASN'T A SECOND TO LOSE. I RUSHED OUT AND MARRIED THE BOSS' DAUGHTER. HE WAS SO SICK, IT WAS LIKE THE ANGEL OF DEATH WAS SITTING IN THE ROOM WATCHING THE CLOCK. THEY PULLED THE PLUG ON HIM. HE WHEEZED AND SHOOK FOR ABOUT AN HOUR, AND THEN... HE STABILIZED! THE SON OF A BITCH JUST GOT OLDER AND SICKER AND OLDER AND SICKER AND OLDER AND SICKER! MORE COFFEE, SIR? NO! I COULDN'T WAIT. I WENT OUT AND MADE MY OWN FORTUNE. THE OLD FART HUNG ON FOR ANOTHER 15 YEARS! FINALLY DIED OF NATURAL CAUSES. I WANT THE REST OF THAT MONEY. HIS MONEY, HER MONEY-- IT'S MY MONEY. I HAD TO LIVE WITH THAT SQUEALING, CORPULENT LITTLE TOAD ALL THESE YEARS! I HATE THAT WOMAN! I HATE THE WAY SHE LICKS STAMPS. I HATE HER FURNITURE. AND I HATE THAT LITTLE SOUND SHE MAKES WHEN SHE SLEEPS. [SNORE] BAA! [SNORE] BAA! AH! AND THAT FILTHY, LITTLE SHITBAG DOG OF HERS--MUFFY! AREN'T YOU SCARED? SCARED? HELL, NO! I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. MY ONLY REGRET, CAROL, IS THAT THE PLAN ISN'T MORE VIOLENT. DON'T YOU CONSIDER THROWING A BODY OFF A CLIFF IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT VIOLENT?