I've got it, I tell you, I've got it! Okay, Sam arrives at noon on a motorcycle, wearing...

[on finding out that Sam has a mistress and was glad she was kidnapped] Barbara: I've got it, I tell you, I've got it! Okay, Sam arrives at noon on a motorcycle, wearing shorts! No shoes, no shirt, nothing... maybe we'll just put him in a jock strap! Then he has to drive all over town. Sam burns really easily, he'll be bright red in no time! Ken Kessler: I can't believe this is happening... Barbara: Then he has to cover himself with honey, and go to a bee farm! We'll make him dance around, so the bees go absolutely nuts! Ken Kessler: [to Sandy, who looks disturbed] I don't think she really means it... Barbara: Then we all watch, while they sting him to death! YEAH! [she makes kicking and punching motions] Ken Kessler: Barbara, don't we want something that'll last, something that'll keep stinging him for the rest of his life? Sandy: My God, he must have been seeing this woman for years... Barbara: CASTRATE HIM! I want to castrate him! [she mimes cutting something off with scissors, then tossing it over her shoulder]

LISTEN TO THIS. SAM ARRIVES ON A MOTORCYCLE WEARING SHORTS. NO SHOES. NO SHIRT. NOTHING. MAYBE JUST A JOCKSTRAP. THEN WE SEND HIM ALL OVER TOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF A HOT, SUNNY DAY. SAM BURNS EASILY. HE'LL BE BRIGHT RED IN NO TIME. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING. THEN HE COVERS HIMSELF WITH HONEY AND GOES TO A BEE FARM. THE BEES GO NUTS. I DON'T THINK SHE MEANS IT. THEN WE WATCH WHILE THEY STING HIM TO DEATH. BARBARA, DON'T WE WANT A PUNISHMENT THAT WILL LAST? MY GOD, HE MUST HAVE BEEN SEEING THIS WOMAN FOR YEARS. CASTRATE HIM! I WANT TO CASTRATE HIM. WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER IF WE STRUCK AT HIS CORE? HIS REASON FOR LIVING? WHAT WOULD THAT BE? HIS TESTICLES. WOULD YOU KNOW WHAT SAM'S TOTAL WORTH WOULD BE? NOT JUST THE BIG STUFF. THE LITTLE STUFF, TOO. YEAH, I THINK SO. GOOD. I WANT YOU TO WRITE IT DOWN IN PLENTY OF DETAIL. FIRE UP THE STOVE. GET THE TOFU BURGERS. WE'RE CALLING SAM. MY TUX. MY SILK TUX. ET TU, ADOLPH? ET TU? [WHINING]