NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM
Transcript:
Larry:
[on his second night at the museum ]
Morning, dum-dum.
Easter Island Head:
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And even though she was a
woman of wealth and class, and I was a broke night watchman at the Space-Time Museum, she agreed to be my wife.
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The embarrassments
for the museum pile up when investigators
realized their night guard missed spotting the thieves. And that was just one
of many security lapses. For all practical purposes,
the muse...
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Mama, Grandma,
the Jones family history is super cool, but when I found out that the museum,
you know, comes to life at night, I thought I'd be going on adventures! | Mama, Grandma,
the Jones family h...
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Young Peter Griffin:
Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Museum Curator:
Because you touch yourself at night.
[Peter looks down in shame] | Why did all the dinosaurs die out Because you touch yoursel...
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[dramatic music] At 7:45 Sunday morning, the day shift arrives at the Gardner Museum. Normally, the night guards
buzz them in. Not today. [tense music] ♪ ♪ As soon as they step inside,
they know something's wrong. After they enter
Transcript:
do some dusting. [gasps] Hello. What are you doing dusting me? I'm lesbian First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. Hi, I'm Seth Meyers as Harvey Milk. Hello, I'm Kenan Thompson
as James Baldwin. It's a Night at the Gay Museum. Come here.
Transcript:
Don't break a sweat. So, night owl, how was Metropolis? - Fine.- Come on, a reception at the Metropolis museum,and it was fine? The museum was amazing. It's just... It's just what? Something happened. It could've been worse.I stopped the bus before anyone was hurt. - Clark, are you all right
Transcript:
Good evening.
Good evening, officer. I thought it was only policemen
that worked this late at night. [ Laughs ]
Oh, no. Museum curators
also put in long hours. However, tonight,
I'm just here to pick ...
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one for your morning commute. Last night,
political artist Banksy made a surprise contribution
to the Met. Our founding mothers appeared at the Met
last night. Traffic at 15
after the hour. Your news, all the time. This is a major
Transcript:
My name is Nick Daley. My Career Day parent is my dad. He's the night watchmanat the Museum of Natural History. | My name is Nick Daley My Career Day parent is my dad He's the night watchman at the...
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Hey, how's it going? Well, Nicky said it. I'm the night watchmanat the Museum of Natural History. And let me tell you something. That's when history comes alive. How many of you guyshave been over to...
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Find anything yet? I got something. | Find anything yet? I got something.
Scene Description:
a group of people are standing in the sand at night.
Transcript:
It's the egg-eating
robot from the Museum. - He re-dressed it.
- It's his alibi. Here's what happened...
I mean, here's what really happened. When Keyes started playing drums
a few weeks ago, he wante...
Transcript:
Where's the money?
Cato Fong:
I don't know anything about any money he owes you. If you want to get in touch with him, he can be reached at the Rio Hilton.
Prof. Auguste Balls:
Mor merde!
Transcript:
will be mine. (normal voice):
My Russian drifted into a little Dracula at the end there. I got to work
on that. Stan, come to dinner. You don't want to be
in the museum after hours. That's when everything
Transcript:
What are you doing?! Erasing every trace of you. By tomorrow night, when
I pin you to the mat, all this will be mine. My Russian drifted into a little Dracula at the end there. I got to work on that. Stan, come to dinner. You don't want to be
in the museum after hours. That's when everything comes to life. Francine, there's no way I'm
giving this place to Roger.
Transcript:
Alma: [Alma finds Tom in the museum at night] How did you get in here?
Tom: I'm a computer system. The lock system is a computer. We help each other out once on a while.
Alma: Really?
Tom: No. I took ...
Transcript:
Lois Lane:
But there are a dozen other stories out there.
Perry White:
Yeah? Name one.
Lois Lane:
Well, there was a museum robbery last night. Hmm? Even Superman missed that one... he was too busy s...
Scene Description:
a man wearing glasses and a brown jacket is looking at the camera.
Transcript:
Wait a minute, you turned on the TV last night, not Jessie.
Stinky Pete the Prospector:
Look, we have an eternity to spend at the museum together. Let's not start by pulling fingers, shall we?
Woody:
You really ARE Stinky Pete, aren't you?
Transcript:
Um, yeah. Great. Dad, what's this? Well, that's a ticketfor the museum. Is it yours? No, no, it's, uh,it's your mother's. Uh, her car broke down, And she needed to borrow mineto get there. So she was at the museumon Thursday night? Yeah. I- I mean,I- I think so. You know, actually, You should really justtalk to your mom about that. Here you go. Thanks.
Transcript:
I'm sorry, Jed. You did your best, Gigantor. Dadgum it, we almost had him, too. No, I mean, I'm sorry I wasn't aroundthe last couple of years at the museum. - Maybe none of this would have happened.- You don't get it, do you, Gigantor? I didn't call you'cause we needed your help. Sure, we were in a little pickle, but it wouldn't have been the fir
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Bellwether:
[Cornering Judy and Nick in a pit-like exhibit in the Natural History Museum]
Well, you should've just stayed on the carrot farm, huh. It really is too bad, I... I did like you!
Judy Hopp...
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Excuse me, would you gentlemen
happen to know how to get to the Natural History Museum? -The dinosaurs.
-Yeah, the cute little dinos... | Excuse me, would you gentlemen
happen to know how to get to th...
Scene Description:
a boy in a purple jacket is smiling at the camera.
Transcript:
[Dr. Green tells Lt. D'Agosta about the purpose of the beetles at the Museum while walking through the labs]
Margo Green:
Transcript:
Did she steal the necklace?
John Frazier:
Apparently not, she's the only one with an alibi. Smiling at the camera the entire time.
Daphne Kluger:
Oooh! So?
Scene Description:
a woman with long brown hair is looking down at the camera.
Transcript:
Georges Méliès:
Magic tricks and illusion became my speciality. The world of imagination. My beautiful wife was my muse, my star, and we couldn't have been happier. We thought it would never end. How ...
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So everything in the museumcomes to life every night? Exactly. And I'm supposed to do what? You're the night watchman, Lawrence, a venerable position in this institution. Come on, lad. All right,...
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makes zero sense. Who'd wanna be hereany longer than they have to? Hmm, well, I might.Going home just got scary. This was in my dad's coat. He said it's my mom's, But I'm starting to wonderif he was at the museum, too. Your dad? No. Why was he so twitchywhen I asked? If they both were therethe same night as me and ezra- Aria, you're just on a loop. It was a coincidence.Is it? Han, come on, you don't th
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Jonah: [during the "What Are You Reading?" segment] Have you ever spied on your parents? Well, a boy named Sascha does in the book I read this week, called "Sascha's Dad Does Drag." One night,...
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Dr. Kate's sister. [gasps] Are you his doc, Doc? Yeah, and his friend. My condolences, Dr. Cranston. ZIVA: Gibbs, found Banks's cell
phone-- you're not gonna believe who called him
four times last nig...
Scene Description:
a woman with brown hair and a blue coat is looking at the camera.
Transcript:
Miyagi:
[Miyagi returns from fishing as Daniel is painting the house]
Oh, miss spot.
Daniel:
What spot? Hey, how come you didn't tell me you were goin' fishing?
Miyagi:
You not here when I go.
Dani...
Scene Description:
a man with a bandana on his head and a white bandana on his head is painting a wall.
Transcript:
Ah, go on then, run! It's him again,
isn't it? ! It's the Doctor! It's always the Doctor! It's always
gonna be the Doctor, it's never me! My handcuffs! Don't think you're running away.
Oh, I'm stickin...
Scene Description:
a man in a black jacket with a fur collar is looking at the camera.
Transcript:
[Lt. D'Agosta confronts Dr. Cuthbert and Lieutenant Parkinson about not opening up the Museum to the public]
Lt. Vincent D'Agosta:
Dr. Cuthbert? Lieutenant Vincent D'Agosta, Chicago Homicide.
Dr. An...
Scene Description:
two people are walking in a large building with a banner that says'grunge'on it
Transcript:
Nick, run, now. -Get back here, kid!-Whoa! Bad idea, Larry. You want to dance, hot dog? -You want to dance!-Gus, you're an old man. I don't want to hurt... Ooh! Ow! Ah! You see, Larry,a few years into...
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♪ "Pretty Little Liars"... Spencer got the ticketsfor me and ezra. Please, just don't go tonight, okay?I have a bad feeling about this date. I think that bad feelingis called jealousy. They had a big...
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-Oh!-Oh, don't do that. We're too old for surprises. Really? I thought you liked surprises. Like, uh, how you surprised mewith the fact that everything in the museumcomes to life at night. That...
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Judy Hopps:
[searching for Nick on a small stone bridge over a ditch]
Nick? Nick?
[leans over the edge, finding him sitting on a lawn chair below]
Judy Hopps:
Oh Nick! Night howlers aren't wolves! T...
Transcript:
Wake up, Mr. Fry. Where am I? You're in the good old year 2000working here at pinucci's pizza. You fell asleep on the job. Well, that sounds like me,but I thought I got frozen. Wasn't I in the future?...
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me House, the most beautiful hotel in the world. Called a friend from school who was selling hash, but she wasn't in. Met a couple of Brits who take me to, of all places, Camden Street. I flirt a bit at the Virgin Megastore, buy some CDs, then follow some girls with pink hair. I wandered around trying to get laid, until it started to rain, then went back to Home House. Ministry of Sound is dead, so I go
Transcript:
Roxanne Ritchi:
Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City! It's a beautiful day in beautiful downtown, where we're here to honour a beautiful man: Metro Man. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. ...
Scene Description:
a person walking down a spiral staircase with a blue alien on it.
Transcript:
amily Desgoffe und Taxis? Are you aware of the murder of DeputyVilmos Kovacs on the 23rd of October? I'm aware of his disappearance. His body was found stuffedin a sarcophagus behind a storage room at at the unstmuseum late last night. He was short four fingers. - What do you know about that?- Nothing. Escort Mr. Jopling off the premises.