WHY YOU SO SERIOUSLY

Transcript:
[guard] Because I said so. [Joe gasping] Seriously, why-why-why you
need me to take off my-- - [pounds on door]
- [guard] Come on, take 'em off. Okay, okay, okay. | [guard] Because I said so. [...

Transcript:
I have to go! Ya? Su ltame! Why is it so fast? Tom is coming soon, idiot. I want to talk to you seriously. Go, seriously. We already have fun, now finished,
you have to work. Did you have fun? | I hav...

Transcript:
What's the matter?
What happened? Why did you stop? I was so close. Close to what? You know. I don't. No, no, seriously.
What's the matter. Nothing. Nothing. | What's the matter?
What happened? Why di...

Transcript:
So… here's the evidence
you've been looking for. Seriously? But why on earth would you keep
priceless art stored in a cabin with the keys in plain sight? | So… here's the evidence
you've been looking ...

Transcript:
Seriously? You're gonna beat me with that? I was wrong. You're not so old. Thank you. Now all we have
to do is figure out why masters is
making you feel insecure. | Seriously? You're gonna beat me wit...

Transcript:
So what, the next pope
must be Italian? Why not? We haven't had an Italian pope for more
than 40 years. 40 years, Tommaso. Can you seriously imagine
the alternative? | So what, the next pope
must be I...

Transcript:
What's going on? Why
didn't you page me? Turnip, Karev? You tattled on me? You're so off this case. Seriously? I have said
way worse stuff than that. Yeah, not helping. Are you kidding me?! | What's ...

Transcript:
I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it. But seriously... holy water? What are you? I'm why you're nothing
and will always be nothing. Because people, they believe in me. I don't believe in you. No? | I'm so...

Transcript:
I said, "So, what can we eat?
Only these muffins?" And she said, very seriously: "I don't eat the muffins." -Why doesn't she eat the muffins?
-The muffins are bad for you, man. | I said, "So, what can...

Transcript:
Dr. Lester:
Any questions?
Craig Schwartz:
Just one. Why are these ceilings so low?
Dr. Lester:
Low overhead, my boy - we pass the savings on to you! But seriously, that'll all be covered in the ori...

Transcript:
Everything all right? Sophie did an amazing job. She is so beautiful. I'm a dad. Bloody hell, I'm a dad. You guys thought
about a name yet? Margaret. Seriously? We like it. Why, hey, Margaret. | Every...

Transcript:
- Okay, so look, I take
my work very seriously, and sometimes my work can
get a little physical, which is why I have
to work alone, and you can't go with me, for insurance purposes. | - Okay, so look,...

Transcript:
- Okay, so look, I take
my work very seriously, and sometimes my work can
get a little physical, which is why I have
to work alone, and you can't go with me, for insurance purposes. | - Okay, so look,...

Transcript:
Danny:
So why does Garcetti hate me?
Gus Morgan:
Come on, man. You can't take Garcetti seriously. He hates everyone. He doesn't even like dolphins. |

Transcript:
Well, there's an empty seat. Why don't you join me? Why? So you can come
and punch me in the face? No, I think you should be the one
to take the beatdown. So, I want you to pick a fight,
and you can't...

Transcript:
Seriously, tell me where we're going! - Nope.
- Why won't you tell me? You won't show me the tickets.
I'm gonna find out. - Just trust me, OK?
- Oh, you're so annoying! Ah, thar she blows! OK, that is...

Transcript:
Bye-bye. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye-bye. What do you make of him? I'd love to. Why don't you try the baths? I don't think I'd like that. Oh, David, you
take everything so seriously. Go ahead. It'll take y...

Transcript:
So what happened? Nothing. Dad got busted. Arrested. Holy shit. -By who?
-Seriously? -The cops?
-Yeah. No shit. Uh, then why isn't he in jail? I rescued him. My skinny white ass, you rescued him. Ask ...

Transcript:
Wake up, shorty! Hey, Tim. Wake up, champ. - What? - The sun has risen. Something happens? I am fired? No, you're late to work. What? It is the day to bring children to work. And you're my son....

Transcript:
(Hank) That puts him
at the crime scenes. That may be all we need. Hold on.
You got to see this. That's why he didn't woge. He knows who you are. [sobbing] You're crying?
Seriously? I don't feel so go...

Transcript:
(Hank) That puts him
at the crime scenes. That may be all we need. Hold on.
You got to see this. That's why he didn't woge. He knows who you are. [sobbing] You're crying?
Seriously? I don't feel so go...

Transcript:
Brian Patrick! That was so awesome. Thank you for supporting me. - I knew you had to flow.
- Actually, Dad, women do. That's why I was trying to support. And also rap, the entire art form. You know wh...

Transcript:
So, why do you need my help? Because I'm having a harder and harder time getting people to take
me seriously on the Res. And you have a murder. People
pay attention to a murder. Our surviving victim
w...

Transcript:
Seriously, why did we bring them? Oh I don't know, I guess I had a gut feeling. Like Peru? Alright, that didn't work out so well. Sierra Leone, Uganda? Alright, look! Maybe the better question here...

Transcript:
Fitz, this is foosball. This guy's your goalie. His name is Pedro, he's a Scorpio,
he likes his carne asada medium-rare, and he was raised in Ohio. That explains his fentanyl habit. You sure I need to...

Transcript:
In fact, when the CIA
came to me at SRI and said, "We'd like for you
to look into this," they plopped a telephone-sized
book down on my desk that was full of Russian work
in this area, and so that's w...

Transcript:
[Why Mitch started doing pottery]

Mitch Preston:
My ex and I were on the rocks, and my marriage counselor said I needed to take up a hobby.
Trey Sellars:
How come you never got good at it?
Mitch Pr...

Transcript:
Candi:
What's your name?
Frasier:
Oh, uh... Dr. Frasier Crane.
Candi:
I'm Candi.
Frasier:
Ah, yes, so I see from your necklace. Candi with an "I".
Candi:
Well, I used to spell it with a "Y" but no...

Transcript:
Olivia:
Agent Dunham with the FBI. - Where's Thorn?
- Inside. We've been through this with bishop. Olivia:
Why haven't you taken him to safety? Ever tell a general
to take a death threat seriously? I'...

Transcript:
[wild cheering] - * What's my age again?
What's my age again? * - Yeah!
- Thank you so much.

Transcript:
♪ The lady's improving
So much that she gloats ♪ ♪ I know you've got standards ♪ ♪ Feel free to give notes ♪ ♪ There isn't an issue
And that's why I wish you could see ♪ ♪ There's no reason to fret ♪ ...

Transcript:
WHY ARE YOU SITTING
IN THE DARK? I'M NOT.
YOUR ARM STILL BOTHERING YOU? NOT SO MUCH. HOW DID YOU HURT
YOURSELF AGAIN? IT WAS STUPID.
I JUST SLIPPED IN GYM. WELL, DON'T YOU THINK
IT'S SOMETHING A DOCTO...

Transcript:
Want me to get him to leave? You're not taking me seriously.
Our daughter is in trouble. Since you came back into her life. Look, mate, she doesn't want you here,
and I don't want you here, so why don...

Transcript:
I cannot believe that there
was a coup on my babymoon. Chuck, thank God
that you were there. You were so amazing, really. Seriously, bro.
Thank you. I just wanted to save the day
before Awesome got a ...

Transcript:
Robyn Lee:
You're seriously out with me just to piss off my dad?
Ray Elwood:
Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
Robyn Lee:
Are you crazy? He's the First Sergeant of your company, he's not somebody you want t...

Transcript:
Louis:
I don't have that record... I'll buy it for forty.
Rob:
Sold.
Louis:
Now why would you sell it to me and not to him?
Barry:
Because you're not a geek, Louis.
Louis:
You guys are snobs.
Dic...

Transcript:
Hey. Thanks for calling. Connor's in the air
in two hours. Got a report
that his jet is being fueled for an international flight,
so the FBI's standing down. Oh, no, you boys didn't get
to play cops a...

Transcript:
You went back,
after we talked. After I changed the combination.
You went back? You just said I couldn't
use dad's, so I rented a gun. Seriously, Emily? I need to know
what's going on with you. Dad's ...

Transcript:
Peter Bretter:
I can see why Sarah likes you.
Aldous Snow:
No accounting for taste, I suppose, in her case, anyway.
Peter Bretter:
Well, she was with me for five years, so there you go.
Aldous Snow...

Transcript:
Lisa:
[after Joy does her impersonations]
Oh, my God, Joy. I love you so much.
Joy:
You do?

Transcript:
[first lines]
Sara Crewe: Why are they sending so many soldiers, daddy, if it's only going to be a little war?
Captain Crewe: To make those stubborn Boers take us seriously this time, my darling. When...

Transcript:
Mate, I'm spent.
Let's call it, eh? JASON: Yeah, yeah. (MOANS) Oh, fuck! It keeps bloody ripping open. Jase, seriously, mate,
why are you doing this? 'Cause I got a match. -MICK: For the Roos?
-Yep. Y...

Transcript:
-(LOCK JANGLING)
-Does someone live here? A caretaker or something? -No. Why?
-I thought I saw someone in the window up there. Um-- You need some help
with that lock? No. You know what?
Let's go back....

Transcript:
What'd I do?
- I'll explain in a second. But for my safety and yours, do you mind rolling that window
all the way down, please? Appreciate it. I pulled you over because
your taillight's out. Let me se...

Transcript:
Carly:
I don't believe this. You steal a car and it's my fault. You evade arrest and it's the cops' fault...
Nick:
One of 'em took a swing at me.
Carly:
You get kicked out of the house, it's Mom and...

Transcript:
Nate:
[to the girls Tim and Drew are trying to seduce]
They're full of shit, okay? They're not your soulmates. They just hacked your Facebook.
Tim:
[to the girls]
That's horseshit!
Drew:
Unbelievabl...

Transcript:
COULD WE GO
TO YOUR ROOM AND TALK? YEAH, BUT I DON'T
WANT TO TALK. BENNY, I'M READY
AND SO ARE YOU. SERIOUSLY, WHY CAN'T
WE JUST WAIT? DO YOU KNOW WHAT
IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE
A GUY SAY NO TO THAT? IT F...

Transcript:
Moose Finbar:
So sick of this game. Just stay out of my way Spencer!
Dr. Smolder Bravestone:
What are you mad at me for?
Moose Finbar:
Why am I mad? Are you seriously asking me that? You got me kick...

Transcript:
So, what's up? We're friends, right? Yeah, last time I checked. Why? Tell me what really happenedthe day my car went off that bridge. I dove in and I pulled you out. - And that's it?- Lex, seriously,...

Transcript:
So, what did she say? We're moving in this weekend. Seriously? Yes! Okay, l suppose a toast is in order. Though why l should be toasting to
you leaving me alone is beyond me. And l don't think l shoul...

Transcript:
Gabe:
So...
Zach:
So?
Gabe:
Why didn't you tell me?
Zach:
Tell you what?
Gabe:
I don't care - at all.
Zach:
I don't know what you're talking about.
Gabe:
Okay. Have you... have you always known?...

Transcript:
Andy Stitzer:
You guys, she's picking me up in an hour.
David:
Oh, drag, dude.
Cal:
She's picking you up from here?
Andy Stitzer:
Yeah.
Cal:
That's fucked up, man.
Andy Stitzer:
Why?
Cal:
Why? S...

Transcript:
Verge:
Why are they always so stupid?
Jack:
Who's stupid?
Verge:
All the women you killed, strike me as seriously unintelligent.
Jack:
I've also killed men.
Verge:
But you only talk about the stup...

Transcript:
Speaking to you as your boss
and your wife in this moment, there's no
compartmentalizing, so you need to tell me
what the hell is going on! I feel like
I don't know who I married. Winston, ever since
...

Transcript:
(Charlie chuckling) I just-- I wouldn't have
had you pegged for a ghoster. - Why not?
- Because you're so thorough and ghosting seems flippant. You know how it is
out there in the dating world. I'm su...

Transcript:
Inosuke, I'm so glad you're all right! I'm so glad you're all right! I'm so sorry! I couldn't rescue you! It's okay. Don't worry about it. Paper! Paper! Do something about this! Your voice... Is that...

Transcript:
Jesse:
I know what you mean about wishing somebody wasn't there, though. It's just usually it's myself that I wish I could get away from. Seriously, think about this. I have never been anywhere that I...

Transcript:
Seriously, though, like.
I'm not Shirley Bassey. I don't need a feather boa.
It's just a birthday badge. It cost me 3.99. Thanks. You want
the money for it, or something? No, I just want you to enjoy ...

Transcript:
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH YOU? I WAS JUST PICKED UP
AND THROWN. AND WE DON'T HAVE
A SINGLE EXPLANATION AS TO
HOW THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE! LOOK, LET ME TELL YOU
WHAT'S GOING DOWN...

Transcript:
Jeff Dunham: So Achmed, do you have any good memories of your father?
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: Uh, for my eighth birthday, he got me a puppy.
Jeff Dunham: That's good.
Achmed the Dead Terrorist: No,...