If it was so certain, I wouldn't be here, would I?

[Darius approaches Kenneth, where he is stocking soup cans in the Grocery Outlet Bargain Market. She acts cool and nonchalant] Darius:
Do you sell guns here? Kenneth:
[surprised]
What kind of guns? Darius:
I don't know. Something sexy and affordable, with killing power? Kenneth:
You should try C and R Guns in Wilkins. The state of Washington does not allow the sale of firearms in the business premises of a grocer. Darius:
Hm. What about those... thingies? With the spiky ball on the end of a chain things, you know, and the... [She pantomimes whirling a flail around above her head] Darius:
You have those? Kenneth:
What exactly is the intended use? Is there a pest problem, or hunting? Darius:
[sternly]
Well, if your ad had been written properly, I may have a better idea of what I need. Kenneth:
My ad? Darius:
Yeah. It's pretty sloppy. Kenneth:
Excuse me? Darius:
You heard me. I hope you worked harder on your calibrations. Kenneth:
[looking around cautiously, but sounding stung]
My calibrations are flippin' pinpoint, okay? Darius:
Hm. Kenneth:
[still looking around and behind him]
There are people after me. How do I know you don't work for them? Darius:
Because I've never worked for anybody in my life. Kenneth:
You ever face certain death? Darius:
If it was so certain, I wouldn't be here, would I? [She takes a soup can from his hand and places it, without looking, unerringly in its spot on the shelf]