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Salesmen

Four door-to-door salesmen unwittingly begin selling propaganda for a cult, whose popularity sweeps the city, leaving the salesmen as the only people who can undo the damage.

Director

Luke Jarvis

Year

Genre

Box Office

N/A

Production

Cingo Entertainment

Awards

N/A

Homepage

http://salesmenfilm.com

Cast information not available.

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Explore 323 Clips

Well, then you are very lost, my friend. - Salesmen

Well, then you are very lost, my friend.

And then when their eyes are open to
the truth and they want to stick around? - Salesmen

And then when their eyes are open to the truth and they want...

We're talking depression, anxiety, uhh... - Salesmen

We're talking depression, anxiety, uhh...

- Diarrhea.
- Diarrhea! - Salesmen

- Diarrhea. - Diarrhea!

And very often, an extra
loyalty fee proves necessary - Salesmen

And very often, an extra loyalty fee proves necessary

And here we have... Hel-? - Salesmen

And here we have... Hel-?

Heather! Heather Weintraub! - Salesmen

Heather! Heather Weintraub!

Well, I'm mentoring them on the body. - Salesmen

Well, I'm mentoring them on the body.

He's running a cult or something
and taking advantage of young women - Salesmen

He's running a cult or something and taking advantage o...

Well, I like to think of
myself as the type of guy - Salesmen

Well, I like to think of myself as the type of guy

We're making great money right now, and - Salesmen

We're making great money right now, and

Seriously?? I'm not even gonna
ask Orlando to get my back. - Salesmen

Seriously?? I'm not even gonna ask Orlando to get my ba...

And in solidarity, I refuse
to sell the books as well. - Salesmen

And in solidarity, I refuse to sell the books as well.

Tooky will keep selling the books
and we'll give you something else to sell. - Salesmen

Tooky will keep selling the books and we'll give you so...

We must have some old
inventory around here somewhere. - Salesmen

We must have some old inventory around here somewhere.

Coolers. 35 cents commission
for every one you sell. - Salesmen

Coolers. 35 cents commission for every one you sell.

I got coolers, ya'll. Anybody home? - Salesmen

I got coolers, ya'll. Anybody home?

What are you doing down
here amongst the common folk? - Salesmen

What are you doing down here amongst the common folk?

Most people today, they need the
boob tube or some fancy video games - Salesmen

Most people today, they need the boob tube or some fancy vid...

But me? I just go where
the people are and watch. - Salesmen

But me? I just go where the people are and watch.

And as a bonus? Whole
bowl of bar nuts: 50 cents. - Salesmen

And as a bonus? Whole bowl of bar nuts: 50 cents.

You're starting to
think about things like, - Salesmen

You're starting to think about things like,

Or are we just filling people's
houses with worthless crap? - Salesmen

Or are we just filling people's houses with worthless c...

You're having so many thoughts that
you're losing sight of the big picture. - Salesmen

You're having so many thoughts that you're losing ...

The only people that get hypnotized
are the ones that are willing. - Salesmen

The only people that get hypnotized are the ones that are wi...

They're hoping we convince
them to buy what they want. - Salesmen

They're hoping we convince them to buy what they want.

And they're Americans,
so they want everything. - Salesmen

And they're Americans, so they want everything.

You're just looking for that
simple little push to get them there. - Salesmen

You're just looking for that simple little push to get ...

Anytime that drink doesn't lead to
cash, it's taking money out of his pocket. - Salesmen

Anytime that drink doesn't lead to cash, it's taki...

Now there's a common situation
which Chet's two least favorite things - Salesmen

Now there's a common situation which Chet's two le...

You know you're not gonna get a tip,
but you want to keep them hydrated. - Salesmen

You know you're not gonna get a tip, but you want to ke...

So you go over and you pour
them the free glasses of H2O - Salesmen

So you go over and you pour them the free glasses of H2O

It might not sound like much, but
imagine that happens a few times a night. - Salesmen

It might not sound like much, but imagine that happens a few...

Why should you have to take care
of these self-destructive people? - Salesmen

Why should you have to take care of these self-destructive p...

Not just for free, but at
your personal expense? - Salesmen

Not just for free, but at your personal expense?

Chet, what if I told you I could
alleviate this problem forever- - Salesmen

Chet, what if I told you I could alleviate this problem fore...

Don't worry, kid. I think your
cold streak is coming to an end. - Salesmen

Don't worry, kid. I think your cold streak is coming to...

I love my mommy and my turtle named Fudge. - Salesmen

I love my mommy and my turtle named Fudge.

I rhymed "fudge" with "Fudge." - Salesmen

I rhymed "fudge" with "Fudge."

[the class groans] - Salesmen

[the class groans]

I didn't know that tingle that runs down your
spine when the other person looks at you. - Salesmen

I didn't know that tingle that runs down your spine whe...

Those goose bumps when you
wake up, see them asleep at your side, - Salesmen

Those goose bumps when you wake up, see them asleep at your ...

I was afraid to mess it up
because it was powerful. - Salesmen

I was afraid to mess it up because it was powerful.

You don't owe anything, but I
just had to let you know how I feel. - Salesmen

You don't owe anything, but I just had to let you know ...

So if you're not interested,
just shut the window and I'll go. - Salesmen

So if you're not interested, just shut the window and I...

At 9am, I get the call
whether I passed the bar. - Salesmen

At 9am, I get the call whether I passed the bar.

My whole life could
change in three minutes. - Salesmen

My whole life could change in three minutes.

When you're a high-powered, fancy lawyer, - Salesmen

When you're a high-powered, fancy lawyer,

His vitals are all over the
place. It does not look good. - Salesmen

His vitals are all over the place. It does not look good.

[he continues to mumble] - Salesmen

[he continues to mumble]

When they told me, all I could
do is picture your face and... - Salesmen

When they told me, all I could do is picture your face and.....

What it might look like
if you were proud of me. - Salesmen

What it might look like if you were proud of me.

[strange sounds as we
disappear into Dad's dreams] - Salesmen

[strange sounds as we disappear into Dad's dreams]

This Schick Styler works so
fast. You know what they call it? - Salesmen

This Schick Styler works so fast. You know what they call it...

Farrah Fawcett! I must be in heaven. - Salesmen

Farrah Fawcett! I must be in heaven.

Your mom called your friends
and told them what happened. - Salesmen

Your mom called your friends and told them what happened.

- I'm so sorry, man.
- We love you, bro. - Salesmen

- I'm so sorry, man. - We love you, bro.

Now, I know we're gathered here
under unfortunate circumstances, - Salesmen

Now, I know we're gathered here under unfortunate circu...

But I would also like to say:
Congratulations! Because, - Salesmen

But I would also like to say: Congratulations! Because,

Initial here... And there... And there. - Salesmen

Initial here... And there... And there.

Now your father has instructed
me to play you this short video. - Salesmen

Now your father has instructed me to play you this short vid...

If you're watching this, it
means you passed the bar. - Salesmen

If you're watching this, it means you passed the bar.

Now, there's so many things I wish I knew. - Salesmen

Now, there's so many things I wish I knew.

First, I'm proud of the man you become. - Salesmen

First, I'm proud of the man you become.

Second, the firm is under investigation - Salesmen

Second, the firm is under investigation

Our legal position that
taxes are technically "optional" - Salesmen

Our legal position that taxes are technically "optional...

I guess we should have paid, - Salesmen

I guess we should have paid,

Instead, whoever owns Noonan
and Noonan after me is really screwed. - Salesmen

Instead, whoever owns Noonan and Noonan after me is really s...

I could have let Jenkins take over, - Salesmen

I could have let Jenkins take over,

All those years, you weren't
around. Jenkins was by my side. - Salesmen

All those years, you weren't around. Jenkins was by my ...

We consumed nightlife like a toothless
hobo sucking off a chicken bone. - Salesmen

We consumed nightlife like a toothless hobo sucking off a ch...

We have the battle scars and
the blood transfusions to prove it. - Salesmen

We have the battle scars and the blood transfusions to prove...

Due by the end of this
week, or you will be arrested. - Salesmen

Due by the end of this week, or you will be arrested.

Your father has generously
arranged to sell his house and assets - Salesmen

Your father has generously arranged to sell his house and as...

- No, I only have 100 bucks.
- Zero millions. - Salesmen

- No, I only have 100 bucks. - Zero millions.

Well, I guess you're fucked. - Salesmen

Well, I guess you're fucked.

Promise not to replace me
with another token white dude? - Salesmen

Promise not to replace me with another token white dude?

Nah, man. We have high
standards for our white guys. - Salesmen

Nah, man. We have high standards for our white guys.

Do you think Brad Mastrangelo
would be out drinking right now? No! - Salesmen

Do you think Brad Mastrangelo would be out drinking right no...

He'd be trying to figure out what we need
to sell, and who we need to sell it to. - Salesmen

He'd be trying to figure out what we need to sell, and ...

Bob wants to spend that money, - Salesmen

Bob wants to spend that money,

How do you find out what's
worth a million dollars-- - Salesmen

How do you find out what's worth a million dollars--

...This side here and we work
our way all the way around... - Salesmen

...This side here and we work our way all the way around...

And one more badass, hall-of-fame... - Salesmen

And one more badass, hall-of-fame...

We can't do this without you.
You're the best salesman we know. - Salesmen

We can't do this without you. You're the best sale...

Think about it: in a few years,
when you're a famous designer, - Salesmen

Think about it: in a few years, when you're a famous de...

You know, when I designed
the garb, in my mind's eye-- - Salesmen

You know, when I designed the garb, in my mind's eye--

This is so fortuitous because we are
thinking of starting a water polo team. - Salesmen

This is so fortuitous because we are thinking of starting a ...

Tell me that is not the best mule
you've ever had in your mouth? - Salesmen

Tell me that is not the best mule you've ever had in yo...

We're having a great time. I
think we're having so much fun-- - Salesmen

We're having a great time. I think we're having so...

Salesmen poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Four door-to-door salesmen unwittingly begin selling propaganda for a cult, whose popularity sweeps the city, leaving the salesmen as the only people who can undo the damage.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Luke Jarvis

Writer: Luke Jarvis, Robert Pooley, Orlando Baxter

Production: Cingo Entertainment

Genre: comedy

Year: 2022

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 5.3

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 10 Feb 2022

Awards: N/A

Homepage: http://salesmenfilm.com