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Schulz Saves America

Comedian Andrew Schulz takes on the year's most divisive topics in this fearlessly unfiltered and irreverent four-part special.

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But in the face of perpetual injustice,
it's inevitable. - Schulz Saves America

But in the face of perpetual injustice, it's inevitable...

"But, Andrew, the cops kill
white people, too, and get away with it." - Schulz Saves America

"But, Andrew, the cops kill white people, too, and get ...

Take America's longest running war, - Schulz Saves America

Take America's longest running war,

Remember that drug they said
was a felony two years ago - Schulz Saves America

Remember that drug they said was a felony two years ago

Yup! It's the same every year.
Big brands say "happy holidays" - Schulz Saves America

Yup! It's the same every year. Big brands say "hap...

But when Epstein was arrested - Schulz Saves America

But when Epstein was arrested

When Tony Timpa
and Daniel Shaver were killed, - Schulz Saves America

When Tony Timpa and Daniel Shaver were killed,

So I guess our prisons
are filled with essential workers. - Schulz Saves America

So I guess our prisons are filled with essential workers.

But instead, you and the rest
of the methampheta-marines - Schulz Saves America

But instead, you and the rest of the methampheta-marines

I haven't seen anything go
from illegal to essential this fast - Schulz Saves America

I haven't seen anything go from illegal to essential th...

But Thanos Karen Laura Ingraham,
who looks like spray-tanned Tom Petty, - Schulz Saves America

But Thanos Karen Laura Ingraham, who looks like spray-tanned...

Speaking of cheap plastic, - Schulz Saves America

Speaking of cheap plastic,

Should we listen to the CHAZ nerds
chanting to abolish all cops? - Schulz Saves America

Should we listen to the CHAZ nerds chanting to abolish all c...

And suddenly, the Think Piece Patrol
is trading barbs with thumb-head Hannity - Schulz Saves America

And suddenly, the Think Piece Patrol is trading barbs with t...

No one really thinks
Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide. - Schulz Saves America

No one really thinks Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide.

You know what Gavin didn't order closed?
His own fucking winery! - Schulz Saves America

You know what Gavin didn't order closed? His own fuckin...

These Baristas For Bernie
wanted a Bolshevik block party, - Schulz Saves America

These Baristas For Bernie wanted a Bolshevik block party,

I mean, in 20 years, - Schulz Saves America

I mean, in 20 years,

There's a drought in California, - Schulz Saves America

There's a drought in California,

Muslims, Jews, Hindus, normal people. - Schulz Saves America

Muslims, Jews, Hindus, normal people.

They immediately racked up
the state's highest body count - Schulz Saves America

They immediately racked up the state's highest body cou...

So for the average person, - Schulz Saves America

So for the average person,

We don't care
if you wish us a merry Christmas, - Schulz Saves America

We don't care if you wish us a merry Christmas,

These dorks can't even
follow their own rules. - Schulz Saves America

These dorks can't even follow their own rules.

So, like a CHAZ grad, that doesn't work. - Schulz Saves America

So, like a CHAZ grad, that doesn't work.

But who had the time
to watch a three-hour YouTube documentary - Schulz Saves America

But who had the time to watch a three-hour YouTube documenta...

Yeah, Nancy Pelosi, who looks like
she got a facelift from a taxidermist, - Schulz Saves America

Yeah, Nancy Pelosi, who looks like she got a facelift from a...

To quote
the hottest First Lady of all time… - Schulz Saves America

To quote the hottest First Lady of all time…

We had shit to do.
We were catching Pokémon, - Schulz Saves America

We had shit to do. We were catching Pokémon,

Sure, it's the worst marketing campaign
since Pepsi solved racism with soda. - Schulz Saves America

Sure, it's the worst marketing campaign since Pepsi sol...

And it turns out,
being a piece-of-shit politician - Schulz Saves America

And it turns out, being a piece-of-shit politician

Then corona came around
and completed the perfect storm. - Schulz Saves America

Then corona came around and completed the perfect storm.

But when they say, "Defund the police," - Schulz Saves America

But when they say, "Defund the police,"

"Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff?" - Schulz Saves America

"Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff?"

Suddenly, we're socially-isolated shut-ins
with unlimited free time, - Schulz Saves America

Suddenly, we're socially-isolated shut-ins with unlimit...

I mean, Republican Senators Richard Burr, - Schulz Saves America

I mean, Republican Senators Richard Burr,

Look. I'm not saying
we don't have radicals in this country. - Schulz Saves America

Look. I'm not saying we don't have radicals in thi...

So, in other words,
restructure the police. - Schulz Saves America

So, in other words, restructure the police.

There are Nazis, anarchists, the Beyhive. - Schulz Saves America

There are Nazis, anarchists, the Beyhive.

Jesus Christ! You guys have
the communication skills of Dale. - Schulz Saves America

Jesus Christ! You guys have the communication skills of Dale...

And the media loves to make
their opposition look more extreme - Schulz Saves America

And the media loves to make their opposition look more extre...

Instead, we were
gobbling up conspiracy theories - Schulz Saves America

Instead, we were gobbling up conspiracy theories

Yeah, I watch The Bachelorette. - Schulz Saves America

Yeah, I watch The Bachelorette.

But for the 80% of us in the middle, - Schulz Saves America

But for the 80% of us in the middle,

We learned that Bill Gates
is trying to microchip the world, - Schulz Saves America

We learned that Bill Gates is trying to microchip the world,

Hey, Vanilla ISIS, these are
the politicians you should be kidnapping. - Schulz Saves America

Hey, Vanilla ISIS, these are the politicians you should be k...

At the end of the day,
money always trumps everything. - Schulz Saves America

At the end of the day, money always trumps everything.

There's no milkshake-tossing - Schulz Saves America

There's no milkshake-tossing

Epstein was the fuel,
corona was the flame, - Schulz Saves America

Epstein was the fuel, corona was the flame,

And speaking of Trump, - Schulz Saves America

And speaking of Trump,

There's no low-T tiki torch tools
at Trader Joe's. - Schulz Saves America

There's no low-T tiki torch tools at Trader Joe's.

That sweet algorithm
that gave me my career - Schulz Saves America

That sweet algorithm that gave me my career

And I'm not just talking about his policy, - Schulz Saves America

And I'm not just talking about his policy,

They deal with
the fallout of systemic failures, - Schulz Saves America

They deal with the fallout of systemic failures,

These idiots say New York
is a socialist safe space - Schulz Saves America

These idiots say New York is a socialist safe space

Big tech exploited our need
for an explanation - Schulz Saves America

Big tech exploited our need for an explanation

When in reality, it's more capitalist - Schulz Saves America

When in reality, it's more capitalist

The last time Pence
was put in charge of a pandemic, - Schulz Saves America

The last time Pence was put in charge of a pandemic,

When cops fuck up, like when they kill
an innocent person or wear shorts, - Schulz Saves America

When cops fuck up, like when they kill an innocent person or...

Just serving up salacious stories - Schulz Saves America

Just serving up salacious stories

But the reality is
I can't criticize Trump for his policy - Schulz Saves America

But the reality is I can't criticize Trump for his poli...

And on the other handgun, - Schulz Saves America

And on the other handgun,

Black people, - Schulz Saves America

They were caught scrolling
without concern, slowly radicalized. - Schulz Saves America

They were caught scrolling without concern, slowly radicaliz...

Now you're arguing over dinner - Schulz Saves America

Now you're arguing over dinner

I mean, sure, it would have
decreased deaths today, - Schulz Saves America

I mean, sure, it would have decreased deaths today,

Kissing your dog on the mouth
is one of the closest bonds - Schulz Saves America

Kissing your dog on the mouth is one of the closest bonds

Right now, in Houston, - Schulz Saves America

Right now, in Houston,

But is it all the algorithm's fault, - Schulz Saves America

But is it all the algorithm's fault,

Obviously not the bad ones, - Schulz Saves America

Obviously not the bad ones,

White people love the police
so much, we named a band "The Police." - Schulz Saves America

White people love the police so much, we named a band "...

No! What Tristan…
Sorry, "Tristawn" failed to mention, - Schulz Saves America

No! What Tristan… Sorry, "Tristawn" failed to ment...

I mean, Trump is
the biggest influencer in the world. - Schulz Saves America

I mean, Trump is the biggest influencer in the world.

And apparently,
my curiosity is barbell beef-boys - Schulz Saves America

And apparently, my curiosity is barbell beef-boys

Oh! And I didn't even mention
La Raza, güey. - Schulz Saves America

Oh! And I didn't even mention La Raza, güey.

The guy says, "Support Goya," - Schulz Saves America

The guy says, "Support Goya,"

We love cops so much, - Schulz Saves America

We love cops so much,

We're the meth-heads mad at our dealer
for being good at their job. - Schulz Saves America

We're the meth-heads mad at our dealer for being good a...

Whites haven't been
this interested in spices - Schulz Saves America

Whites haven't been this interested in spices

And boomers, man, they soak
that shit up like a squirt porn towel boy. - Schulz Saves America

And boomers, man, they soak that shit up like a squirt porn ...

The point is, - Schulz Saves America

Trump has tens of millions of followers
on social media, except TikTok, - Schulz Saves America

Trump has tens of millions of followers on social media, exc...

And we'd probably notice it
if we unplug from the Internet, - Schulz Saves America

And we'd probably notice it if we unplug from the Inter...

And with all that influence, - Schulz Saves America

And with all that influence,

For them, a filter was for cigarettes,
a deepfake was a Thai hooker - Schulz Saves America

For them, a filter was for cigarettes, a deepfake was a Thai...

So when white people look at
a Black victim of police brutality - Schulz Saves America

So when white people look at a Black victim of police brutal...

And no one takes advantage
of this addiction better - Schulz Saves America

And no one takes advantage of this addiction better

What makes it even worse is,
back in February, - Schulz Saves America

What makes it even worse is, back in February,

But they can rely on the mainstream media
to set the record straight, right? - Schulz Saves America

But they can rely on the mainstream media to set the record ...

Donald Trump speaks in the exact
sound bites the news cycles crave - Schulz Saves America

Donald Trump speaks in the exact sound bites the news cycles...

Schulz Saves America poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Comedian Andrew Schulz takes on the year's most divisive topics in this fearlessly unfiltered and irreverent four-part special.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: N/A

Writer: N/A

Production:

Genre: comedy

Year: 2020

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 7.3

BoxOffice:

Released: 17 Dec 2020

Awards: N/A

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