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Secret Santa

Christmas dinner brings tidings of death when someone enacts revenge, and out of the bloody madness rises a hero who must face all odds to stop an outbreak before it's too late.

Director

Adam Marcus

Year

Genre

action, comedy, horror

Box Office

N/A

Production

Distilled Media,Skeleton Crew

Awards

N/A

Cast information not available.

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Explore 344 Clips

Now look! I don't know how you think you are, but I
slaved over that bird, and I'll say when to serve it. - Secret Santa

Now look! I don't know how you think you are, but I sla...

Yes, ma'am. I just thought since I was not
told about the figs that you “slaved” over, - Secret Santa

Yes, ma'am. I just thought since I was not told about t...

I would be happy to “give you
the bird” ma'am. - Secret Santa

I would be happy to “give you the bird” ma'am.

Ladies and Gentlemen.
May I present Shari Pope's famous turkey. - Secret Santa

Ladies and Gentlemen. May I present Shari Pope's famous...

Well I guess you're all wondering
why I called you all here tonight? - Secret Santa

Well I guess you're all wondering why I called you all ...

I would hate for this exquisite
meal I made to get cold. - Secret Santa

I would hate for this exquisite meal I made to get cold.

You know I read the average holiday meal has over forty-five
hundred calories and over two hundred grams of fat. - Secret Santa

You know I read the average holiday meal has over...

But - Secret Santa

I mean we've recorded record
profits four quarters in a row. - Secret Santa

I mean we've recorded record profits four quarters in a...

Sounds like your legal team ain't gonna be
able to make that go away like in the '90's, - Secret Santa

Sounds like your legal team ain't gonna be able to make...

Can we just keep it between
ourselves? - Secret Santa

Can we just keep it between ourselves?

Absolutely Mr. Pope. Whatever you say, I want to assure
you that it doesn't go any further than my ears. - Secret Santa

Absolutely Mr. Pope. Whatever you say, I want to assure you ...

It was like a dance place where
people take their pants off - Secret Santa

It was like a dance place where people take their pants off

This is a real meal, Mother. And
I'm eating it with my family. - Secret Santa

This is a real meal, Mother. And I'm eating it with my ...

I missed going to Europe with the Chorphenians in
high school because they thought I had leprosy. - Secret Santa

I missed going to Europe with the Chorphenians in high schoo...

That I got because the kids at
school tricked me into eating turkey. - Secret Santa

That I got because the kids at school tricked me into eating...

Course you would think so.
How could pretty girls do horrible things? - Secret Santa

Course you would think so. How could pretty girls do horribl...

You just have it out for anyone
who's beautiful. Why is that? - Secret Santa

You just have it out for anyone who's beautiful. Why is...

That is not true. You were just a
nervous child, and you didn't want to go. - Secret Santa

That is not true. You were just a nervous child, and you did...

I suffer and work til my bones ache, to give
these children everything and look what I get! - Secret Santa

I suffer and work til my bones ache, to give these children ...

And the other one who stops eating
and is still as fat as a house! - Secret Santa

And the other one who stops eating and is still as fat as a ...

My pretty face not making up for
it anymore, mom? - Secret Santa

My pretty face not making up for it anymore, mom?

No, Penny. You do have a pretty
face. - Secret Santa

No, Penny. You do have a pretty face.

Hey I have an idea. Why don't we
play Secret Santa? - Secret Santa

Hey I have an idea. Why don't we play Secret Santa?

And our first contestant is - Secret Santa

And our first contestant is

Oh I didn't know, we just
brought wine for everybody. - Secret Santa

Oh I didn't know, we just brought wine for everybody.

That's who you have to buy for and if you bring
someone then you have to get a gift for them too. - Secret Santa

That's who you have to buy for and if you bring someone...

Oh that's why you only - Secret Santa

Oh that's why you only

You don't want to
give anything away - Secret Santa

You don't want to give anything away

OK. Well you don't want to give anything away. The fun is when
you get your gift everyone has to guess who bought it for them. - Secret Santa

OK. Well you don't want to give anything away. The fun...

That's the game. And whoever gets the most
right wins becomes the game master next year. - Secret Santa

That's the game. And whoever gets the most right wins b...

No. But when you see some of the
gifts, you're usually dodging a bullet! - Secret Santa

No. But when you see some of the gifts, you're usually ...

What's terrible? Last year you gave me that fakakta
exercise band that told me what a lazy bastard I am. - Secret Santa

What's terrible? Last year you gave me that fakakta exe...

Le Chansons De Bilitis - Secret Santa

Le Chansons De Bilitis

Ohhh. I don't know what - Secret Santa

Ohhh. I don't know what

Is that the book of poems about
lesbian erotica? - Secret Santa

Is that the book of poems about lesbian erotica?

Oh for goodness sakes. It's
simple! - Secret Santa

Oh for goodness sakes. It's simple!

...t, t, t, to, Top Gun - Secret Santa

...t, t, t, to, Top Gun

You're welcome dear. It's from
my favorite designer. - Secret Santa

You're welcome dear. It's from my favorite designe...

Jacques Du Pierre - Secret Santa

Jacques Du Pierre

I can show you how, if you wa - Secret Santa

I can show you how, if you wa

A concert to the London Royal
Philharmonic. - Secret Santa

A concert to the London Royal Philharmonic.

Unless he's trying to use
subterfuge by asking a question. - Secret Santa

Unless he's trying to use subterfuge by asking a questi...

Marvin does most of his work in
Europe. Banking. - Secret Santa

Marvin does most of his work in Europe. Banking.

Now I'm giving myself away - Secret Santa

Now I'm giving myself away

It's one of his middle works.
Lesser known. - Secret Santa

It's one of his middle works. Lesser known.

Les Trois Chansons de Bilitis - Secret Santa

Les Trois Chansons de Bilitis

Pourquoi ne l'avez-vous
pas encore baise. - Secret Santa

Pourquoi ne l'avez-vous pas encore baise.

It means “Why don't you fuck him
already?” - Secret Santa

It means “Why don't you fuck him already?”

The next name is - Secret Santa

The next name is

But she's the game master. She
doesn't get a gift. - Secret Santa

But she's the game master. She doesn't get a gift.

Well Kyle. It is my hope that I'll
be the one getting the gift tonight. - Secret Santa

Well Kyle. It is my hope that I'll be the one getting t...

I'm trying to spend the rest of my life with
the woman I've waited my whole life to find. - Secret Santa

I'm trying to spend the rest of my life with the woman ...

Do you... do you want to marry
me? - Secret Santa

Do you... do you want to marry me?

For you to ask me here, tonight,
after everything you have seen. - Secret Santa

For you to ask me here, tonight, after everything you have s...

Life wasn't quite perfect enough
for April, - Secret Santa

Life wasn't quite perfect enough for April,

You know Penny, you don't have
to shit all over your sister's - Secret Santa

You know Penny, you don't have to shit all over your si...

You were right, Kyle. It wasn't April's
turn. I was looking for a good opportunity. - Secret Santa

You were right, Kyle. It wasn't April's turn. I wa...

It's alright. Anyway. The name I
picked anyway was Penny. - Secret Santa

It's alright. Anyway. The name I picked anyway was Penn...

Christ sake even the stripper is
empathizing with the cheerleader? - Secret Santa

Christ sake even the stripper is empathizing with the cheerl...

London, - Secret Santa

I can't take off that much work. Who
the hell got me a trip through Europe!? - Secret Santa

I can't take off that much work. Who the hell got me a ...

Well it's dad's company so he's the
only one who could get you that kinda time off. - Secret Santa

Well it's dad's company so he's the only one ...

I didn't get you the trip. I just made sure you had enough
time to take it. That call came in from someone else. - Secret Santa

I didn't get you the trip. I just made sure you had...

You - Secret Santa

This must be like ten grand in
plane tickets alone. - Secret Santa

This must be like ten grand in plane tickets alone.

I knew the meatballs were made
with turkey. - Secret Santa

I knew the meatballs were made with turkey.

But I wanted to sit at the cool
kids table and - Secret Santa

But I wanted to sit at the cool kids table and

I let them steal your trip to Europe and
no I can't replace what you lost. But thats - Secret Santa

I let them steal your trip to Europe and no I can't rep...

Oh for goodness sake. She didn't
poison you. She just did't tell you. - Secret Santa

Oh for goodness sake. She didn't poison you. She just d...

I might not be a supermodel mom, but I
came out of your overused vagina too! - Secret Santa

I might not be a supermodel mom, but I came out of your over...

Oh I wouldn't go around throwing insults,
Jocasta, at least I'm not fucking my own son. - Secret Santa

Oh I wouldn't go around throwing insults, Jocasta, at l...

Oh, well, if that's the standard, then I
guess Carol needs to tell her new husband - Secret Santa

Oh, well, if that's the standard, then I guess Carol ne...

Oh zip it. I know he paid for your
tits, just like he paid for mine! - Secret Santa

Oh zip it. I know he paid for your tits, just like he paid f...

Are you out of your fucking mind!? Why
would I ever want anything that's yours?! - Secret Santa

Are you out of your fucking mind!? Why would I ever want any...

So you could be me! That's why you fucked
my husband and that's why you fucked my... - Secret Santa

So you could be me! That's why you fucked my husband an...

Son is the word you're looking
for you diseased whore! - Secret Santa

Son is the word you're looking for you diseased whore!

I may have slept with your fucking sister but you slept with my son you guttersnipe - Secret Santa

I may have slept with your fucking sister but you slept with...

Hey! Now you shut your mouth your mouth
about my sisters, you vile son of a bitch! - Secret Santa

Hey! Now you shut your mouth your mouth about my sisters, yo...

Look at the class of people you created
with that diseased cock of yours! - Secret Santa

Look at the class of people you created with that diseased c...

No one's going to prison,
because no one's taking my father anywhere! - Secret Santa

No one's going to prison, because no one's taking ...

Oh yeah, fuck you! You
mutherfucker! - Secret Santa

Oh yeah, fuck you! You mutherfucker!

You think he loves you? No one loves you,
you loser, your parents named you Penny - Secret Santa

You think he loves you? No one loves you, you loser, your pa...

What I DO know is that the only way a miserable shit-stain
like you can get a job is because Daddy gave it to you! - Secret Santa

What I DO know is that the only way a miserable shit-stain l...

He fucking hates you for that!
He's fucking ashamed you're his daughter. - Secret Santa

He fucking hates you for that! He's fucking ashamed you...

You know how I know? Cause he
told me. HIMSELF! - Secret Santa

You know how I know? Cause he told me. HIMSELF!

Fine! FUCK IT! I'll knock you
fat ass out myself!! - Secret Santa

Fine! FUCK IT! I'll knock you fat ass out myself!!

Aw, what are you doin' man! Come
on, a little help here! - Secret Santa

Aw, what are you doin' man! Come on, a little help here...

Shit, I held a bumper on a van with
duct tape for six months. Watch out. - Secret Santa

Shit, I held a bumper on a van with duct tape for six months...

Well, sometimes children
shouldn't be heard... or seen. - Secret Santa

Well, sometimes children shouldn't be heard... or seen.

Secret Santa poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Christmas dinner brings tidings of death when someone enacts revenge, and out of the bloody madness rises a hero who must face all odds to stop an outbreak before it's too late.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Adam Marcus

Writer: Adam Marcus, Debra Sullivan

Production: Distilled Media,Skeleton Crew

Genre: action, comedy, horror

Year: 2018

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 5.0

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 18 Dec 2018

Awards: N/A

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