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George Costanza: So, did you get your new plates?
Cosmo Kramer: Oh... yeah. I got my new plates. But they mixed them up. Somebody got mine and I got their vanity plates.
George Costanza: What do they say?
Cosmo Kramer: Assman.
Jerry: Assman?
Cosmo Kramer: Yeah. Assman, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!
Jerry: Who would order a license plate that says "Assman"?
George Costanza: Maybe they're Wilt Chamberlain's.
Jerry: It doesn't have to be someone who gets a lot of women. It could be just some guy with a big ass.
Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, or it could be a proctologist.
Jerry: Yeah. Proctologist.
George Costanza: Come on! No doctor would put that on his car.
Cosmo Kramer: Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."
Cosmo Kramer: Oh... yeah. I got my new plates. But they mixed them up. Somebody got mine and I got their vanity plates.
George Costanza: What do they say?
Cosmo Kramer: Assman.
Jerry: Assman?
Cosmo Kramer: Yeah. Assman, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!
Jerry: Who would order a license plate that says "Assman"?
George Costanza: Maybe they're Wilt Chamberlain's.
Jerry: It doesn't have to be someone who gets a lot of women. It could be just some guy with a big ass.
Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, or it could be a proctologist.
Jerry: Yeah. Proctologist.
George Costanza: Come on! No doctor would put that on his car.
Cosmo Kramer: Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.499
So did you get your new plates Oh yeah I got my new plates
00:00:05.708 --> 00:00:06.708
But they mixed them up
00:00:06.075 --> 00:00:09.000
Somebody got mine and I got their vanity plates
00:00:09.374 --> 00:00:12.333
What do they say Assman
00:00:13.624 --> 00:00:14.791
Assman Yeah Assman Jerry
00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:18.025
I'm Cosmo Kramer the Assman
00:00:19.292 --> 00:00:21.075
Who would order a license plate that says Assman
00:00:22.292 --> 00:00:24.541
Maybe they're Wilt Chamberlain's
00:00:26.416 --> 00:00:28.708
It doesn't have to be someone who gets lots of woman
00:00:28.791 --> 00:00:31.167
It could be just some guy with a big ass
00:00:31.374 --> 00:00:34.708
Yeah or it could be a proctologist Yeah
00:00:36.666 --> 00:00:38.958
Proctologist No come on
00:00:39.167 --> 00:00:41.998
No doctor would put that on his car
00:00:41.292 --> 00:00:44.208
Have you ever met a proctologist
00:00:44.708 --> 00:00:47.374
Well they usually have a very good sense of humor
00:00:47.583 --> 00:00:50.458
You meet a proctologist at a party don't walk away
00:00:50.666 --> 00:00:53.875
Plant yourself there You will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard
00:00:54.624 --> 00:00:59.125
See no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there
00:00:59.708 --> 00:01:01.666
Never It's always an accident
00:01:01.708 --> 00:01:04.998
Every proctologist's story ends in the same way
00:01:04.292 --> 00:01:07.708
It was a million 1 shot doc Million 1
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Movie Summary
The continuing misadventures of neurotic New York City stand-up comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his equally neurotic New York City friends.
