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"Semi Pro" quotes

Semi Pro poster
Jackie Moon, the owner-coach-player of the American Basketball Association's Flint Michigan Tropics, rallies his teammates to make their NBA dreams come true.

Director: Kent Alterman
Writer: Scot Armstrong
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, sport
Year: 2008
MetaScore: 47/100
ImdbRating: 5.8
BoxOffice: $33,479,698
Released: 29 Feb 2008
Awards: 1 win & 4 nominations
Traveling No no no no One and a half steps - Semi Pro 00:36 Traveling No no no no One and a half steps You're a big baby Jackie You cannot tell me to S my C - Semi Pro 00:03 You're a big baby Jackie You cannot tell me to S my C I just live in a world of urine and pancakes you know - Semi Pro 00:07 I just live in a world of urine and pancakes you know Crazy fists I'm comin' with crazy fists - Semi Pro 00:05 Crazy fists I'm comin' with crazy fists It's just like the Titanic but it's full of bears - Semi Pro 00:08 It's just like the Titanic but it's full of bears It's called fondue - Semi Pro 00:14 It's called fondue Cock sandwich that hurts - Semi Pro 00:05 Cock sandwich that hurts If you have a small child use it as a shield - Semi Pro 00:08 If you have a small child use it as a shield You're never gonna get my love - Semi Pro 00:19 You're never gonna get my love Everybody OK I think so - Semi Pro 00:21 Everybody OK I think so I'll see you fuckers in hell - Semi Pro 00:35 I'll see you fuckers in hell Fuck you Clarence Spumoni - Semi Pro 00:08 Fuck you Clarence Spumoni Vakidis open the window will ya - Semi Pro 00:13 Vakidis open the window will ya Here comes the alley - Semi Pro 00:06 Here comes the alley Fuck that shit - Semi Pro 00:08 Fuck that shit Everyone can eat shit - Semi Pro 00:11 Everyone can eat shit Well we've got an especially dirty hippie here - Semi Pro 00:09 Well we've got an especially dirty hippie here Oh I'm so happy I can't even feel my arms - Semi Pro 00:07 Oh I'm so happy I can't even feel my arms I'll burn your house down Oh hold it hold it hold it - Semi Pro 00:07 I'll burn your house down Oh hold it hold it hold it Could be a lot of television cameras out there so we just gotta be tiptop - Semi Pro 00:24 Could be a lot of television cameras out there so we just... Who the fuck is Bambi - Semi Pro 00:05 Who the fuck is Bambi Feels like I got cat piss in my eyes - Semi Pro 00:04 Feels like I got cat piss in my eyes Look there's nothing in the rule book that says you can't play drunk - Semi Pro 00:11 Look there's nothing in the rule book that says you... Jackie Moon is Flint's favorite son - Semi Pro 00:24 Jackie Moon is Flint's favorite son Everybody panic - Semi Pro 00:08 Everybody panic I wish you were still a washing machine - Semi Pro 00:07 I wish you were still a washing machine Your refund will be escaping this deathtrap with your life - Semi Pro 00:06 Your refund will be escaping this deathtrap with your life He really believes it You were never in 'Nam - Semi Pro 01:16 He really believes it You were never in 'Nam Everybody love everybody - Semi Pro 00:05 Everybody love everybody Corn dogs Jackie Corn dogs for all these people - Semi Pro 00:06 Corn dogs Jackie Corn dogs for all these people Hey how come it says Monix on your jersey when your name's Pussy - Semi Pro 00:06 Hey how come it says Monix on your jersey when your... Oh if you see a possum - Semi Pro 00:12 Oh if you see a possum God damn it Vakidis - Semi Pro 00:05 God damn it Vakidis Come on Jackie You walked Suck my cock I'll murder your family - Semi Pro 00:10 Come on Jackie You walked Suck my cock I'll murder your... Lou can I ask you to please put out your cigarette - Semi Pro 00:06 Lou can I ask you to please put out your cigarette Jackie's teammates doing just an awful job of stabilizing his spine - Semi Pro 00:06 Jackie's teammates doing just an awful job of... Everybody panic - Semi Pro 00:21 Everybody panic And when they look back in the anals of history - Semi Pro 00:18 And when they look back in the anals of history

Cast

Jackie Moon - Will Ferrell
Clarence - André 3000
Dick Pepperfield - Andy Daly