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"Sgt Bilko" quotes

Sgt Bilko poster
Sgt. Bilko is a well-liked conman in charge of the army base's motor pool, developing a hover tank and unofficially of gambling etc. One man hates Bilko and he's coming to inspect the base for possible closure.

Director: Jonathan Lynn
Writer: Nat Hiken, Andy Breckman
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 1996
MetaScore: 47/100
ImdbRating: 5.8
BoxOffice: $30,356,793
Released: 29 Mar 1996
Awards: 1 win

35 video clips

Master Sergeant Ernest G. BilkoMajor EbersoleGen. TennysonAssistant Casino ManagerSgt. HenshawCol. John T. HallRita RobbinsCpl. JeffersonSgt. Raquel BarbellaMinisterLt. MondayLt. Oster
Sir all I ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work - Sgt Bilko 00:06 Sir all I ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an... Yeah that's Doberman's X Can I please have another roommate - Sgt Bilko 00:13 Yeah that's Doberman's X Can I please have another... 20 says I can hit the parking lot I don't gamble - Sgt Bilko 00:18 20 says I can hit the parking lot I don't gamble I can barely move my legs - Sgt Bilko 00:23 I can barely move my legs Remember when I got the letter from my wife sayin' she wanted to break up - Sgt Bilko 00:11 Remember when I got the letter from my wife sayin' she... Sarge they let you do this I never asked They'd say no - Sgt Bilko 00:07 Sarge they let you do this I never asked They'd say no If they come deny everything Just act dumb - Sgt Bilko 00:09 If they come deny everything Just act dumb I like a sporting event in which I know the outcome beforehand It's more organised - Sgt Bilko 00:08 I like a sporting event in which I know the outcome... Permission to speak freely What are we in Russia Say anything - Sgt Bilko 00:07 Permission to speak freely What are we in Russia Say... You're soldiers Guardians of freedom - Sgt Bilko 00:26 You're soldiers Guardians of freedom Colonel Hall you look fantastic sir Have you lost weight - Sgt Bilko 00:05 Colonel Hall you look fantastic sir Have you lost weight Well theoretically and I wouldn't bet the farm - Sgt Bilko 00:41 Well theoretically and I wouldn't bet the farm That's quite a run Is there anything we can do for you - Sgt Bilko 00:10 That's quite a run Is there anything we can do for you Sarge you're crying - Sgt Bilko 00:08 Sarge you're crying Hey Sarge Get up What's the matter - Sgt Bilko 00:13 Hey Sarge Get up What's the matter Are these yours - Sgt Bilko 00:17 Are these yours Ah Doberman The son I never wanted - Sgt Bilko 00:06 Ah Doberman The son I never wanted All right you've seen real soldiers before Just do what they do - Sgt Bilko 00:08 All right you've seen real soldiers before Just do what... Rita you're there This guy has terrible qualities - Sgt Bilko 00:11 Rita you're there This guy has terrible qualities Any one of these men would take a bullet for you - Sgt Bilko 00:04 Any one of these men would take a bullet for you I'm paralysed I have no feeling from the hair down - Sgt Bilko 00:09 I'm paralysed I have no feeling from the hair down You told Sowicki to call me You manipulated me How could you - Sgt Bilko 00:11 You told Sowicki to call me You manipulated me How could you Very good As you were - Sgt Bilko 00:07 Very good As you were Hey man can't is a four letter word in this platoon - Sgt Bilko 00:05 Hey man can't is a four letter word in this platoon What is that - Sgt Bilko 00:29 What is that What is it Corporal The Pentagon called - Sgt Bilko 00:08 What is it Corporal The Pentagon called Give me the ring You were the best man last time - Sgt Bilko 00:13 Give me the ring You were the best man last time Paparelli How's tickets goin' for the Meet Stormin' Norman barbecue - Sgt Bilko 00:13 Paparelli How's tickets goin' for the Meet... My that's a lovely dress - Sgt Bilko 00:11 My that's a lovely dress Ernie will you dance with me tonight - Sgt Bilko 00:08 Ernie will you dance with me tonight Nothing You found nothing - Sgt Bilko 00:23 Nothing You found nothing Rita you can't marry Thorn You don't love him - Sgt Bilko 00:08 Rita you can't marry Thorn You don't love him If any of this is frightening just hold onto me - Sgt Bilko 00:14 If any of this is frightening just hold onto me I just need to find out how much he really loves me - Sgt Bilko 00:11 I just need to find out how much he really loves me Let's go campers It's 10am Time to start the day - Sgt Bilko 00:07 Let's go campers It's 10am Time to start the day

Cast

Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko - Steve Martin
Col. John T. Hall - Dan Aykroyd
Maj. Colin Thorn - Phil Hartman
Rita Robbins - Glenne Headly
Pfc. Wally Holbrook - Daryl Mitchell
All Cast