Shut up, Jack!

Kirk:

Devon, why would you tell her that I broke up with Molly? Devon:
Cause I thought you had. Kirk:
No. We're just in a sticky wicket. Stainer:
A "sticky wicket"? Kirk:
Yeah. A rough patch. Rough pumpkins. Stainer:
And how many times have you called her? Kirk:
Five. Stainer:
And how many times have you really called her? Kirk:
Seventeen. Stainer:
It's done. Tao of Love. Kirk:
What? Stainer:
That's what I call it. The Tao of Love. You being with Molly defies, like, forces of nature. It's over man. Kirk:
No. It's not over. Frankly, I'm sick of all you guys pretending like you know where I'm coming from. None of you know what I'm going through right now. Stainer:
Tina Jordan does. Kirk:
Who the hell is Tina Jordan? Stainer:
She was my Molly. Kirk:
You never mentioned her. Stainer:
I didn't want to jinx it. But she was perfect. Yeah, perfect. Freckled shoulders. Anyway, two months into it, bam, she dumps me. I shoulda seen it coming too, cause she was a ten. Like a hard ten. I was a six, possibly a seven. Either way, I couldn't cover the spread. The universe spoke and I was depressed for months. Kirk:
That's what that was? You said you had mono. Stainer:
Yeah. Mono of the heart. Jack:
OK, my God, how's your vagina? Stainer:
Shut up, Jack!