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"Simon Birch" quotes

Simon Birch poster
A young boy with stunted growth is convinced that God has a great purpose for him.

Director: Mark Steven Johnson
Writer: Mark Steven Johnson, John Irving
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, drama, family
Year: 1998
MetaScore: 39/100
ImdbRating: 6.9
BoxOffice: $18,253,415
Released: 11 Sep 1998
Awards: 3 wins & 3 nominations

30 video clips

Rebecca WenteworthAdult Joe WenteworthRev. RussellSimon BirchMr. BirchMiss Leavy
I know She's so sexy that - Simon Birch 00:14 I know She's so sexy that Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with - Simon Birch 00:13 Time is a monster that cannot be reasoned with When someone you love dies - Simon Birch 00:52 When someone you love dies I was just thinking Yeah - Simon Birch 00:22 I was just thinking Yeah What I want to do and what I do are two separate things - Simon Birch 00:07 What I want to do and what I do are two separate things GULPS Boobs - Simon Birch 00:04 GULPS Boobs You're already a bastard You might as well be an enlightened one - Simon Birch 00:05 You're already a bastard You might as well be an... What do you think you're doing sitting in a corner - Simon Birch 00:09 What do you think you're doing sitting in a corner It's freezing My balls just turned into prunes - Simon Birch 00:05 It's freezing My balls just turned into prunes I don't see how pork chops could lead to intercourse no matter how good they are - Simon Birch 00:05 I don't see how pork chops could lead to intercourse no... Sex makes people crazy - Simon Birch 00:06 Sex makes people crazy Hey Your son is not a screwup He's a hero - Simon Birch 00:15 Hey Your son is not a screwup He's a hero I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice - Simon Birch 00:31 I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice It's the Virgin Mary Eddie - Simon Birch 00:07 It's the Virgin Mary Eddie I said What does coffee and donuts have to do with God - Simon Birch 00:15 I said What does coffee and donuts have to do with God Simon If God has made the church bake sale our priority - Simon Birch 00:06 Simon If God has made the church bake sale our priority I got faith I just want proof to back it up - Simon Birch 00:05 I got faith I just want proof to back it up The star of Bethlehem is not a pinata - Simon Birch 00:05 The star of Bethlehem is not a pinata Ah well we've got the shepherds - Simon Birch 00:20 Ah well we've got the shepherds What is it Aah It's a horse - Simon Birch 00:05 What is it Aah It's a horse Ben Goodrich legally adopted me - Simon Birch 00:17 Ben Goodrich legally adopted me I know She's so sexy that - Simon Birch 00:14 I know She's so sexy that God has a plan for everyone including Ben Goodrich - Simon Birch 00:05 God has a plan for everyone including Ben Goodrich I look like a burn victim - Simon Birch 00:04 I look like a burn victim The Virgin Mary does not chew gum - Simon Birch 00:04 The Virgin Mary does not chew gum Jesus Simon - Simon Birch 00:06 Jesus Simon I'm sorry - Simon Birch 00:03 I'm sorry I'm a miracle you know Yeah Yeah - Simon Birch 00:06 I'm a miracle you know Yeah Yeah Now get over there with those other flying monkeys where you belong - Simon Birch 00:05 Now get over there with those other flying monkeys where you... Thank you Miss Wenteworth - Simon Birch 00:07 Thank you Miss Wenteworth

Cast

Joe Wenteworth - Joseph Mazzello
Rebecca Wenteworth - Ashley Judd
Ben Goodrich - Oliver Platt
Rev. Russell - David Strathairn
Grandmother Wenteworth - Dana Ivey
All Cast