"Small Soldiers" quotes

Small Soldiers poster
When missile technology is used to enhance toy action figures, the toys soon begin to take their battle programming too seriously.

Director: Joe Dante
Writer: Gavin Scott, Adam Rifkin, Ted Elliott
Production: N/A
Year: 1998
MetaScore: N/A/100
ImdbRating: 6.2
BoxOffice: $54,682,547
Released: 10 Jul 1998
Awards: 3 wins & 4 nominations

71 Clips

Gorgonites we must help Alan But if we fight we will lose - Small Soldiers 00:17
Gorgonites we must help Alan But if we fight we will lose
You've been a bad boy Now you must be punished - Small Soldiers 00:07
You've been a bad boy Now you must be punished
You rescued me - Small Soldiers 00:13
You rescued me
You Maggot - Small Soldiers 00:08
You Maggot
We have met the enemy and he is you - Small Soldiers 00:05
We have met the enemy and he is you
Great all we need now is a nuclear warhead - Small Soldiers 00:21
Great all we need now is a nuclear warhead
Any sign of the Gorgonites No none of them - Small Soldiers 00:24
Any sign of the Gorgonites No none of them
Let's see if her head comes off - Small Soldiers 00:05
Let's see if her head comes off
Damn potholes - Small Soldiers 00:04
Damn potholes
An officer and a gentleman does't strike a lady What - Small Soldiers 00:06
An officer and a gentleman does't strike a lady What
Excuse me Did you say learn Learn Learn yeah - Small Soldiers 00:07
Excuse me Did you say learn Learn Learn yeah
Damn the torpedoes or give me death - Small Soldiers 00:05
Damn the torpedoes or give me death
If you can't accessorize pulverize - Small Soldiers 00:05
If you can't accessorize pulverize
All my make up is cruelty free - Small Soldiers 00:06
All my make up is cruelty free
What is your name I'm Alan Now shut up - Small Soldiers 00:12
What is your name I'm Alan Now shut up
Major Chip Hazard - Small Soldiers 00:37
Major Chip Hazard
Besides what are you worried about They're only toys - Small Soldiers 00:06
Besides what are you worried about They're only toys
What are you looking for Gorgon - Small Soldiers 00:22
What are you looking for Gorgon
We shouldn't fight We should hide - Small Soldiers 00:11
We shouldn't fight We should hide
Alan friend of Archer - Small Soldiers 00:19
Alan friend of Archer
Greetings I am Archer emissary of the Gorgonites - Small Soldiers 00:10
Greetings I am Archer emissary of the Gorgonites
Soldiers no poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country - Small Soldiers 00:35
Soldiers no poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country
The chips - Small Soldiers 00:30
The chips
How's this slogan The Commando Elite Anything else is just a toy - Small Soldiers 00:06
How's this slogan The Commando Elite Anything else is just a...
We can't have toys out on the market that may be dangerous - Small Soldiers 00:37
We can't have toys out on the market that may be dangerous
Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist - Small Soldiers 00:06
Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist
Are you scared - Small Soldiers 00:11
Are you scared
I think World War ll was my favorite war - Small Soldiers 00:06
I think World War ll was my favorite war
It's a small world after all - Small Soldiers 00:05
It's a small world after all
You've got a lot of guts Let's see what they look like - Small Soldiers 00:07
You've got a lot of guts Let's see what they look like
A mind is a terrible thing to waste - Small Soldiers 00:05
A mind is a terrible thing to waste
I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning - Small Soldiers 00:06
I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning
What's your name - Small Soldiers 00:17
What's your name
What are you talking about - Small Soldiers 01:16
What are you talking about
It's a small world after all - Small Soldiers 00:13
It's a small world after all
If it lacerates or detonates - Small Soldiers 00:20
If it lacerates or detonates
If you don't shut up - Small Soldiers 00:22
If you don't shut up
If you can't accessorize - Small Soldiers 00:12
If you can't accessorize
I think World War II was my favorite war - Small Soldiers 00:15
I think World War II was my favorite war
I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning - Small Soldiers 00:17
I love the smell of polyurethane in the morning
You've got a lot of guts - Small Soldiers 00:18
You've got a lot of guts
You've been a bad boy - Small Soldiers 00:16
You've been a bad boy
How to Make a Success of Your Small Buisness - Small Soldiers 00:44
How to Make a Success of Your Small Buisness
He's not supposed to be here now - Small Soldiers 01:31
He's not supposed to be here now
Friend of Archer - Small Soldiers 00:40
Friend of Archer
Everything else is just a toy - Small Soldiers 00:18
Everything else is just a toy
Emissary or the Gorgonites - Small Soldiers 00:18
Emissary or the Gorgonites
Electomagnetic Pulse - Small Soldiers 00:45
Electomagnetic Pulse
Did you say  learn - Small Soldiers 00:11
Did you say learn
Any sign of the Gorgonites - Small Soldiers 00:23
Any sign of the Gorgonites
And what do soldiers need - Small Soldiers 00:18
And what do soldiers need
An officer and a gentlemen does not strike a lady - Small Soldiers 00:17
An officer and a gentlemen does not strike a lady
An officer and a gentleman does not strike a lady - Small Soldiers 00:17
An officer and a gentleman does not strike a lady
All my makeup is cruelty free - Small Soldiers 00:13
All my makeup is cruelty free
A mind is a terrible thing to waste - Small Soldiers 00:14
A mind is a terrible thing to waste
What are you worried about - Small Soldiers 00:16
What are you worried about
What are you looking for - Small Soldiers 00:47
What are you looking for
We're all scared - Small Soldiers 00:18
We're all scared
We shouldn't fight - Small Soldiers 00:15
We shouldn't fight
We must help Alan - Small Soldiers 00:32
We must help Alan
We have met the enemy - Small Soldiers 00:11
We have met the enemy
We can't have toys out on the market that may be dangerous - Small Soldiers 01:56
We can't have toys out on the market that may be dangerous
There will be no mercy - Small Soldiers 00:12
There will be no mercy
She's got a baton - Small Soldiers 00:16
She's got a baton
Seven Gorgonites and nine people - Small Soldiers 00:20
Seven Gorgonites and nine people
Or give me death - Small Soldiers 00:14
Or give me death
No poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country - Small Soldiers 01:38
No poor sap ever won a war by dying for his country
Nick Nitro's battery has run out - Small Soldiers 00:18
Nick Nitro's battery has run out
Major Chip Hazard - Small Soldiers 01:08
Major Chip Hazard
Let's see if her head pops off - Small Soldiers 00:13
Let's see if her head pops off
Lets go get those creeps - Small Soldiers 00:12
Lets go get those creeps

Cast

Irwin Wayfair - David Cross
Larry Benson - Jay Mohr
Ms. Kegel - Alexandra Wilson
Gil Mars - Denis Leary
Alan Abernathy - Gregory Smith
Christy Fimple - Kirsten Dunst
Timmy Fimple - Jacob Smith
Stuart Abernathy - Kevin Dunn
Irene Abernathy - Ann Magnuson
Marion Fimple - Wendy Schaal
Phil Fimple - Phil Hartman
Satellite Dish Installer - Archie Hahn
Ralph, Clean Room Technician - Robert Picardo
Toy World Supervisor - Julius Tennon
Neighbor - Belinda Balaski
Husband - Rance Howard
Chip Hazard - Tommy Lee Jones
Kip Killagin (voice) - Ernest Borgnine
Butch Meathook (voice) - Jim Brown
Link Static (voice) - Bruce Dern
Brick Bazooka (voice) - George Kennedy
Nick Nitro (voice) - Clint Walker
Slamfist / Scratch-It (voice) - Christopher Guest
Insaniac - Michael McKean
Punch-It - Harry Shearer
Gwendy Doll - Sarah Michelle Gellar
Gwendy Doll - Christina Ricci
Globotech Announcer (voice) - Marcia Mitzman Gaven
Passerby - Rennie Cowan
Ocula (voice) - Jim Cummings
F.B.I. agent - Anthony Genovese
Globotech Telephone Operator - Cheri Oteri
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