Doesn't anything ever get you down? Yeah, I get my apple cart upset sometimes. I just...

Andy DiCarlo: Doesn't anything ever get you down? Big Bob Freelander: Yeah, I get my apple cart upset sometimes. I just learned a long time ago to accept a little less from life, that's all. Big Bob Freelander: [continues] Want to know who taught me this great lesson in life? Elizabeth Taylor. Andy DiCarlo: [looks incredulous] What? Big Bob Freelander: I never bothered to tell you the story because I don't believe in negative stories, but, uh, one time I actually had a date with old Liz herself. Andy DiCarlo: You're kidding. Big Bob Freelander: Huh-uh. Do you remember when I went off to junior college in Los Angeles? Well, I had a class with a guy that was Liz Taylor's cousin. He fixed me up with her. Andy DiCarlo: What was she like? Big Bob Freelander: I never met her. Andy DiCarlo: You just said... Big Bob Freelander: No, I just said that I had a "date" with her. I never said that she kept it. You should've seen all the preparations I made. I went out and got the best flowers that I could find, and a great table at the world-famous Cocoanut Grove restaurant. And then she never showed up. That was the weekend that she ran off and married the hotel guy. Andy DiCarlo: I'm sorry. Big Bob Freelander: Oh, you don't have to be sorry. Just that now I'm married to Roberta, and I'm happy about it. Even though she is... a little less than Elizabeth Taylor. Big Bob Freelander: [pauses to reflect] God, Elizabeth Taylor was beautiful.