"So I Married an Axe Murderer" quotes

So I Married an Axe Murderer poster
A San Francisco poet who fears commitment suspects his girlfriend may have a knack for killing off her significant others.

Director: Thomas Schlamme
Writer: Robbie Fox
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, romance
Year: 1993
MetaScore: 54/100
ImdbRating: 6.4
BoxOffice: $11,585,483
Released: 30 Jul 1993
Awards: N/A

57 Clips

Let's get pissedl - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:04
Let's get pissedl
I could do anything to you in your sleep - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:16
I could do anything to you in your sleep
Charlie - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:07
Charlie
All right we have a piper who's down - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:11
All right we have a piper who's down
Lighten up You got a pickIe up your ass again - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:07
Lighten up You got a pickIe up your ass again
First the Justice Department reports an alarming rise - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:10
First the Justice Department reports an alarming rise
Come on CharIie Go with your mother - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:06
Come on CharIie Go with your mother
Tony have you heard of this Mrs X - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:16
Tony have you heard of this Mrs X
Charlie open the door Rose is trying to kiIl me - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05
Charlie open the door Rose is trying to kiIl me
TeLl me one bad thing you've done and it better be evil - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:18
TeLl me one bad thing you've done and it better be evil
L have a surprise for you - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:18
L have a surprise for you
You've turned into a sexy wee bastard Do you know that - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:11
You've turned into a sexy wee bastard Do you know that
My next poem is caIled ''An Open Apology to the AIiens Who Abducted Me - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:14
My next poem is caIled ''An Open Apology to the AIiens Who...
L know for a fact that you don't have the right to commandeer my vehicle - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:07
L know for a fact that you don't have the right to...
Oh weIl You know Harriet - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:10
Oh weIl You know Harriet
Woe man - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:30
Woe man
All right we have a piper who's down - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:04
All right we have a piper who's down
Larry Leonard 'croner' '' Crooner - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:23
Larry Leonard 'croner' '' Crooner
WouLd you like a juice - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:19
WouLd you like a juice
Hey Paisane What - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:08
Hey Paisane What
Show her the picture of Charlie when he shit his pants at Niagara Falls - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05
Show her the picture of Charlie when he shit his pants at...
Bright women intimidate you No no Not at aIl - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:10
Bright women intimidate you No no Not at aIl
I Iike the nightIife I Iike to boogie - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05
I Iike the nightIife I Iike to boogie
How the heIl do you even know if you're going in the right direction - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:16
How the heIl do you even know if you're going in the right...
Not reaIly - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:11
Not reaIly
Come Let us dance like children of the night - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05
Come Let us dance like children of the night
Give your mother a kiss or l'll kick your teeth in - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:06
Give your mother a kiss or l'll kick your teeth in
What's the newS You wanna hear the news Here it is - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:20
What's the newS You wanna hear the news Here it is
If you think I'm sexy And you want my body - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:09
If you think I'm sexy And you want my body
Fine go You've stayed your hour - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05
Fine go You've stayed your hour
What are you doing Wake up - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:24
What are you doing Wake up
Let me make you some breakfast - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:34
Let me make you some breakfast
For example How many peopIe have you brutalIy murdered - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:16
For example How many peopIe have you brutalIy murdered
Marry me - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:10
Marry me
There's another one here Native San Franciscan Plumber EIliot RaIph - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:36
There's another one here Native San Franciscan Plumber...
I'm smitten I am in deep smit - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05
I'm smitten I am in deep smit
Excuse me sir I'm with the San Francisco Police Department - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:28
Excuse me sir I'm with the San Francisco Police Department
Hey listen How long is it gonna take us to get there - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:32
Hey listen How long is it gonna take us to get there
Happy in her cage No longer full of rage - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:33
Happy in her cage No longer full of rage
Woe man - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:37
Woe man
Whoa man - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:35
Whoa man
I'm afraid that you're gonna k leave me - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:09
I'm afraid that you're gonna k leave me
Scotland has its own martial arts - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:13
Scotland has its own martial arts
Maybe it is late - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:35
Maybe it is late
So Tony what's the deal with your clothes - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:21
So Tony what's the deal with your clothes
This is something the other tour guides won't tell you - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:28
This is something the other tour guides won't tell you
My name is John Johnson but everyone here caIls me Vicki - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:06
My name is John Johnson but everyone here caIls me Vicki
L don't report to a commissioner l report to a committee - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:24
L don't report to a commissioner l report to a committee
Wait What do you Iook for in a woman you date - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:13
Wait What do you Iook for in a woman you date
May l ask you a question Do you actually like haggis - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:11
May l ask you a question Do you actually like haggis
Hey Paisane What - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05
Hey Paisane What
L find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as 'the paper '' - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:25
L find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World...
Harriet Harr i et - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:36
Harriet Harr i et
Look at the size of that boy's head - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:16
Look at the size of that boy's head
Thirty years ago today May and l were married Some of you were there - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:28
Thirty years ago today May and l were married Some of you...
Lt's a well known fact that there's a secret society - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:34
Lt's a well known fact that there's a secret society
L'm not kidding That boy's head's like Sputnik - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:14
L'm not kidding That boy's head's like Sputnik

Cast

Charlie Mackenzie - Mike Myers
Harriet Michaels - Nancy Travis
Tony Giardino - Anthony LaPaglia
Rose Michaels - Amanda Plummer
May Mackenzie - Brenda Fricker
Commandeered Driver - Charles Grodin
Ranger John 'Vicky' Johnson - Phil Hartman
Susan - Debi Mazar
Cafe Roads Performer - Patrick Bristow
Cafe Roads M.C. - Cintra Wilson
Butchershop Customer - Al Nalbandian
Butchershop Customer - George F. Mauricio
Butchershop Customer - Kiki Douveas
Butchershop Customer - Lillie Lowe
Butchershop Customer - Maria Dos Remedios
Police Records Officer - Luenell
Policeman - Kelly Christmas
Russian Sailor - Ilya Brodsky
Russian Sailor - Eugene Buick
Maureen O'Boyle - Maureen O'Boyle
Steve Dunleavy - Steve Dunleavy
Obituary Writer - Mike Hagerty
Newspaper Reporter - Michael Richards
Marriage Desk Employee - Adele Proom
Serenade Musician - David Knowles
Serenade Musician - Carl Rusk
Serenade Musician - Paul Sanchez
Auntie Molly - Wanda McCaddon
Uncle Angus - Glen Vernon
Tony's Dance Partner - Maggy Myers Davidson
Scottish Minister - Robert Nichols
Wedding Reception Piper - Jek Cunningham
Wedding Reception Accordionist - Robert Black
Wedding Reception Fiddler - John Taylor
Walter the Plumber - Ken Johnson
Master Cho - Kelvin Han Yee
Man with Bimbo - Joe Bellan
Concierge - Greg Germann
Maitre D' - Ken Grantham
Mrs. Levenstein - Cynthia Frost
Mr. Levenstein - Fred Ornstein
Waiter - John X. Heart
Bellboy - Frederick Walsh
Young Stuart - Keith Selvin
Alcatraz Tourist - Katherine Griffin
Doorman at Restaurant - Rico E. Anderson
Tony's Boss - Alan Arkin
Beatnik Poet - Cait Brennan
Man in Restaurant - Marshal Hilton
Sherry - Sheila Kelley
Club Poet - Holly Lewis
Cafe Patron - Angela Marie
Man - Pink Hair - Marck Menke
Cafe Roads Patron - Erika Pearson
Wedding Guest - Jennifer Peterson
Restaurant Patron - Steve C. Porter
Cafe Roads Extra - August Ragone
Diner Patron - Dave Reda
Alcatraz Visitor - Marla Sokoloff
Cafè performer - Scott 'Carrot Top' Thompson
Cappuccino Waitress - Mariana Tosca