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"So I Married an Axe Murderer" quotes

So I Married an Axe Murderer poster
A San Francisco poet who fears commitment suspects his girlfriend may have a knack for killing off her significant others.

Director: Thomas Schlamme
Writer: Robbie Fox
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, romance
Year: 1993
MetaScore: 54/100
ImdbRating: 6.4
BoxOffice: $11,585,483
Released: 30 Jul 1993
Awards: N/A

58 video clips

Tony GiardinoCharlie MackenzieMay MackenzieHarriet MichaelsPilotCommandeered DriverObituary WriterRose MichaelsTony's BossCafe Roads Performer
L find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as 'the paper '' - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:25 L find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World... L don't report to a commissioner l report to a committee - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:24 L don't report to a commissioner l report to a... Woe man - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:37 Woe man If you think I'm sexy And you want my body - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:09 If you think I'm sexy And you want my body My next poem is caIled ''An Open Apology to the AIiens Who Abducted Me - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:14 My next poem is caIled ''An Open Apology to the... L'm not kidding That boy's head's like Sputnik - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:14 L'm not kidding That boy's head's like... Lt's a well known fact that there's a secret society - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:34 Lt's a well known fact that there's a secret... Thirty years ago today May and l were married Some of you were there - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:28 Thirty years ago today May and l were married Some of you... Look at the size of that boy's head - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:15 Look at the size of that boy's head Harriet Harr i et - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:36 Harriet Harr i et May l ask you a question Do you actually like haggis - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:09 May l ask you a question Do you actually like haggis Hey Paisane What - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05 Hey Paisane What Wait What do you Iook for in a woman you date - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:13 Wait What do you Iook for in a woman you date This is something the other tour guides won't tell you - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:29 This is something the other tour guides won't tell you My name is John Johnson but everyone here caIls me Vicki - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:06 My name is John Johnson but everyone here caIls me Vicki So Tony what's the deal with your clothes - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:34 So Tony what's the deal with your clothes I'm afraid that you're gonna k leave me - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:08 I'm afraid that you're gonna k leave me Scotland has its own martial arts - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:13 Scotland has its own martial arts Happy in her cage No longer full of rage - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:37 Happy in her cage No longer full of rage Maybe it is late - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:34 Maybe it is late I'm smitten I am in deep smit - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:07 I'm smitten I am in deep smit Hey listen How long is it gonna take us to get there - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:33 Hey listen How long is it gonna take us to get there Let's get pissed - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05 Let's get pissed Excuse me sir I'm with the San Francisco Police Department - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:33 Excuse me sir I'm with the San Francisco Police... There's another one here Native San Franciscan Plumber EIliot RaIph - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:36 There's another one here Native San Franciscan Plumber... What are you doing Wake up - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:24 What are you doing Wake up Marry me - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:10 Marry me For example How many peopIe have you brutalIy murdered - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:16 For example How many peopIe have you brutalIy murdered Not reaIly - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:06 Not reaIly Let me make you some breakfast - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:34 Let me make you some breakfast Fine go You've stayed your hour - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:07 Fine go You've stayed your hour What's the newS You wanna hear the news Here it is - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:25 What's the newS You wanna hear the news Here it is Give your mother a kiss or l'll kick your teeth in - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05 Give your mother a kiss or l'll kick your teeth in Come Let us dance like children of the night - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05 Come Let us dance like children of the night How the heIl do you even know if you're going in the right direction - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:15 How the heIl do you even know if you're going in the... Show her the picture of Charlie when he shit his pants at Niagara Falls - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:06 Show her the picture of Charlie when he shit his pants at... I Iike the nightIife I Iike to boogie - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:07 I Iike the nightIife I Iike to boogie Bright women intimidate you No no Not at aIl - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:12 Bright women intimidate you No no Not at aIl Hey Paisane What - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:08 Hey Paisane What WouLd you like a juice - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:19 WouLd you like a juice You've turned into a sexy wee bastard Do you know that - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:10 You've turned into a sexy wee bastard Do you know that Larry Leonard 'croner' '' Crooner - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:24 Larry Leonard 'croner' '' Crooner All right we have a piper who's down - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:07 All right we have a piper who's down Woe man - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:31 Woe man Oh weIl You know Harriet - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:10 Oh weIl You know Harriet L know for a fact that you don't have the right to commandeer my vehicle - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:15 L know for a fact that you don't have the right to... L have a surprise for you - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:18 L have a surprise for you TeLl me one bad thing you've done and it better be evil - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:19 TeLl me one bad thing you've done and it better be evil Charlie open the door Rose is trying to kiIl me - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:04 Charlie open the door Rose is trying to kiIl me Tony have you heard of this Mrs X - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:17 Tony have you heard of this Mrs X Come on CharIie Go with your mother - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:10 Come on CharIie Go with your mother First the Justice Department reports an alarming rise - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:14 First the Justice Department reports an alarming rise Lighten up You got a pickIe up your ass again - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:07 Lighten up You got a pickIe up your ass again All right we have a piper who's down - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:11 All right we have a piper who's down Charlie - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:07 Charlie I could do anything to you in your sleep - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:17 I could do anything to you in your sleep Let's get pissedl - So I Married an Axe Murderer 00:05 Let's get pissedl

Cast

Charlie Mackenzie - Mike Myers
Harriet Michaels - Nancy Travis
Tony Giardino - Anthony LaPaglia
Rose Michaels - Amanda Plummer
May Mackenzie - Brenda Fricker
All Cast