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"Soapdish" quotes

Soapdish poster
An ambitious television soap actress connives with her producer to scuttle the career of the show's long-time star, but nothing works as they plan.

Director: Michael Hoffman
Writer: Robert Harling, Andrew Bergman
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, romance
Year: 1991
MetaScore: 65/100
ImdbRating: 6.6
BoxOffice: $36,489,888
Released: 31 May 1991
Awards: 5 nominations

85 video clips

Celeste TalbertJeffrey AndersonEdmund EdwardsBurton WhiteDavid BarnesRose SchwartzAriel MaloneyTawny MillerMontana MooreheadLori CravenBetsy Faye SharonMarkOld WomanBoltNitwit ExecutiveLeeza Gibbons
Or what we call in Austria - Soapdish 00:58 Or what we call in Austria Actors don't like to play a coma They feel it limits the range - Soapdish 00:06 Actors don't like to play a coma They feel it limits... You have beautiful eyes They're nothing compared to my tits - Soapdish 00:08 You have beautiful eyes They're nothing compared to my... David David David Great scene with Bolt - Soapdish 00:42 David David David Great scene with Bolt There's so many people to thank - Soapdish 00:23 There's so many people to thank Wait Wait - Soapdish 00:51 Wait Wait Hi I'm Lori Craven and I'm an actress - Soapdish 00:13 Hi I'm Lori Craven and I'm an actress They guy was decapitated I looked it up - Soapdish 00:28 They guy was decapitated I looked it up Next time could you wear a swimsuit underneath the towel - Soapdish 00:10 Next time could you wear a swimsuit underneath the towel Very very good Mark Very true I love what you're doing - Soapdish 00:40 Very very good Mark Very true I love what you're doing You promised me you'd get rid of Celeste - Soapdish 00:21 You promised me you'd get rid of Celeste She's a boy - Soapdish 00:16 She's a boy There's a nurse in the restaurant Did I miss a meeting - Soapdish 00:06 There's a nurse in the restaurant Did I miss a meeting Yes Yes yes yes - Soapdish 00:16 Yes Yes yes yes I never said I was the best mother in the world - Soapdish 00:22 I never said I was the best mother in the world One more date and we'd have had a Greek tragedy on our hands - Soapdish 00:05 One more date and we'd have had a Greek tragedy on our... Of course I'm an egomaniac I've got America's sweetheart - Soapdish 00:09 Of course I'm an egomaniac I've got America's... I would like to voice my strong concern - Soapdish 00:31 I would like to voice my strong concern She came in yesterday I don't know who the hell she is - Soapdish 00:30 She came in yesterday I don't know who the hell she is Aunt Celeste - Soapdish 00:16 Aunt Celeste We need to talk Look I don't care what Tawny Miller says - Soapdish 00:57 We need to talk Look I don't care what Tawny Miller... You people have the morals of guinea pigs - Soapdish 00:06 You people have the morals of guinea pigs Gloria Swanson is dead see - Soapdish 00:10 Gloria Swanson is dead see Of course I can kiss her This is ridiculous - Soapdish 00:33 Of course I can kiss her This is ridiculous Why are you here This is my apartment I live here - Soapdish 00:15 Why are you here This is my apartment I live here Don't call me Mr Loman - Soapdish 00:11 Don't call me Mr Loman New boy in town Just stepped off the choo choo - Soapdish 00:14 New boy in town Just stepped off the choo choo And you I was under orders - Soapdish 00:19 And you I was under orders Celeste I want to act - Soapdish 00:11 Celeste I want to act See my theory is that all the characters are Hamlet - Soapdish 00:16 See my theory is that all the characters are Hamlet She's been through hell and we're her family - Soapdish 00:19 She's been through hell and we're her family A few words please for your fans at home - Soapdish 00:11 A few words please for your fans at home Sudden speech the last stages of brain fever - Soapdish 00:05 Sudden speech the last stages of brain fever Excuse me can I join you I'm Lori Craven The homeless mute - Soapdish 00:12 Excuse me can I join you I'm Lori Craven The homeless... You know I would think you were acting - Soapdish 00:12 You know I would think you were acting She has more lines than I do and she's a goddamn mute - Soapdish 00:14 She has more lines than I do and she's a goddamn mute Why aren't we having sex yet You know the rules - Soapdish 00:17 Why aren't we having sex yet You know the rules Why are you here This is my apartment I live here - Soapdish 00:15 Why are you here This is my apartment I live here I've never worked in an atmosphere like this before - Soapdish 00:43 I've never worked in an atmosphere like this before I said You've got a fine city here Mayor - Soapdish 00:11 I said You've got a fine city here Mayor But the hand thing it started to sound rehearsed - Soapdish 00:33 But the hand thing it started to sound rehearsed Lori get your clothes on your aunt's here - Soapdish 00:23 Lori get your clothes on your aunt's here I didn't know it was your drainpipe - Soapdish 00:16 I didn't know it was your drainpipe Listen she's just won her 8th Shmeggy all right - Soapdish 00:13 Listen she's just won her 8th Shmeggy all right I didn't realize you'd be here Well I am - Soapdish 00:06 I didn't realize you'd be here Well I am Hell I'm not a genius I'm just a working actress - Soapdish 00:11 Hell I'm not a genius I'm just a working actress I'm looking at crawdad butts Cover 'em up - Soapdish 00:05 I'm looking at crawdad butts Cover 'em up God Get out - Soapdish 00:16 God Get out She's got a lot of spirit She's a deranged bitch - Soapdish 00:11 She's got a lot of spirit She's a deranged bitch It can't be one of the regulars Not even Bolt - Soapdish 00:16 It can't be one of the regulars Not even Bolt Bitch Hag - Soapdish 00:09 Bitch Hag Mother No I can't let you do this - Soapdish 00:17 Mother No I can't let you do this Next time could you wear a swimsuit underneath the towel - Soapdish 00:10 Next time could you wear a swimsuit underneath the towel You've got to kill him off Get him out of town - Soapdish 00:10 You've got to kill him off Get him out of town I hope you're wearing underwear Jeffrey - Soapdish 00:23 I hope you're wearing underwear Jeffrey You sure that's why you're here Get your hands off my - Soapdish 00:14 You sure that's why you're here Get your hands off... Why are you here This is my apartment I live here - Soapdish 00:39 Why are you here This is my apartment I live here But No No She's turned unstable We can't - Soapdish 00:18 But No No She's turned unstable We can't It's about Lori I don't expect you to be nice to me - Soapdish 00:17 It's about Lori I don't expect you to be nice to... What kind of moron are you It's a disfiguring disease - Soapdish 00:13 What kind of moron are you It's a disfiguring disease Rod I'd like you to meet my husband Bolt - Soapdish 00:07 Rod I'd like you to meet my husband Bolt I have to get off this show while I'm alive - Soapdish 00:06 I have to get off this show while I'm alive All right look I have a public okay They write me letters - Soapdish 00:25 All right look I have a public okay They write me letters That's fine I could write you out for six months - Soapdish 00:23 That's fine I could write you out for six months I had this It's just an idea - Soapdish 00:10 I had this It's just an idea Then it's my show - Soapdish 00:13 Then it's my show David Yeah - Soapdish 00:17 David Yeah Ariel should be raped by Father Corey - Soapdish 00:21 Ariel should be raped by Father Corey We've got to get off the dime here sexually 'Cause I'm losing it - Soapdish 00:17 We've got to get off the dime here sexually 'Cause... I also wanted to keep the socially relevant storylines - Soapdish 00:12 I also wanted to keep the socially relevant storylines The point I'm trying to make is that quiz shows are beating us - Soapdish 00:17 The point I'm trying to make is that quiz shows are... Okay so when the soup lady arrives - Soapdish 00:22 Okay so when the soup lady arrives Look at the hooters on that one Mark's good - Soapdish 00:07 Look at the hooters on that one Mark's good Okay boys and girls we're going to tape this rehearsal - Soapdish 00:19 Okay boys and girls we're going to tape this rehearsal It's really big It'll look smaller on the screen - Soapdish 00:08 It's really big It'll look smaller on the screen What is it about you I can't put my finger on it You're not my type - Soapdish 00:33 What is it about you I can't put my finger on it... But now What - Soapdish 01:06 But now What This place is crawling with sub plots - Soapdish 00:09 This place is crawling with sub plots Yummy With a spoon - Soapdish 00:09 Yummy With a spoon David you can't turn me into a grandmother I still have my looks - Soapdish 00:10 David you can't turn me into a grandmother I still have... What I want you to help me understand is making Celeste Montana's mother - Soapdish 00:14 What I want you to help me understand is making Celeste... Have a little soup it's so warming You're so kind miss - Soapdish 00:06 Have a little soup it's so warming You're so kind... Isn't Celeste Talbert Jeffrey Anderson's - Soapdish 00:24 Isn't Celeste Talbert Jeffrey Anderson's Celeste is a bad news buffet - Soapdish 00:16 Celeste is a bad news buffet Do you mind You You're asking me to leave - Soapdish 00:13 Do you mind You You're asking me to leave

Cast

Montana Moorehead - Cathy Moriarty
Ariel Maloney - Teri Hatcher
David Barnes - Robert Downey Jr.
Celeste Talbert - Sally Field
Bolt - Paul Johansson
All Cast