You got hit by a spider? Can it bite me? Well, it probably would have hurt, right? You...

Ned Leeds:
You got hit by a spider? Can it bite me? Well, it probably would have hurt, right? You know what? Whatever. Even if it did hurt, I'd let it bite me. Maybe. How much did it hurt?
Peter Parker:
The spider's dead, Ned.

- He was filming. I'm gonna wipe the chip. - Okay. Hey. You know what? We should make an alibi video for your aunt anyway. You ready? - An alibi? Sure. Okay. - We rolling? Get in the frame. Hey, May. How you doing? What are you wearing? Something skimpy, I hope. Peter, that's inappropriate. Let's start over. You can edit it. Three, two, one. Hey, May. My gosh, I wanted to tell you what an incredible job your nephew did... ...this weekend at the Stark internship retreat. Everyone was impressed. Come on! It's a freaking merge. I'm sorry. This is because you're not on Queens Boulevard. See, Happy is hoping to get bumped up to asset management. He was forehead of security, before that he was a driver. That was a private conversation. I don't like joking about this. It was hard to talk about that. - No, seriously, was he snoring a bunch? - Here we are. End of the line. - Can you give us a moment? - Want me to leave? Grab Peter's case out of the trunk. I can keep the suit? Yes, we were just talking about it. Do me a favor, though. Happy's kind of your point guy on this. Don't stress him out. Don't do anything stupid. I've seen his cardiogram. - All right? - Yes. Don't do anything I would do, and don't do anything I wouldn't do. There's a little gray area in there. That's where you operate. - Wait, does that mean I'm an Avenger? - No. - This it? - Seventh floor. - I can take that. You don't have to. - You'll take it? - Yeah, I can take that. - Thank you. So when's our next... When's our next "retreat," you know? - What, next mission? - Yeah, the mission. The missions.