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This is not funny What am I supposed to eatWhy don't you cook your dick It'd be a small meal
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Stand by Me

It'd be a small meal

Vern: This isn't funny! What am I supposed to eat?Teddy:You could cook your dick.Chris:It'd be a small meal

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.086
This is not funny What am I supposed to eat
00:00:03.169 --> 00:00:06.256
Why don't you cook your dick It'd be a small meal
Available in 7 languages
Duration
7 seconds
Views
2,157
Timestamp in Movie
00:41:52
Uploaded
Feb 23, 2026
Genres
adventure, drama
Production
Columbia Pictures,Act III Productions

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Movie Summary

After the death of one of his friends, a writer recounts a childhood journey with his friends to find the body of a missing boy.

Actors

River Phoenix
Chris Chambers
River Phoenix
Nothing like a smoke after a mealYeah I cherish these momentsWhat What did I say - Stand by Me 00:14
Nothing like a smoke after a mealYeah I cherish these...
But not one of your horror stories okayI don't want to hear no horror stories I'm not up for that man - Stand by Me 00:08
But not one of your horror stories okayI don't want to...
The main guy of the story is this fat kid that nobody likesnamed Davie HoganLike Charlie Hogan's brother if he had oneGood VernGo on GordieWell this kid he's our age but he's fat Real fatHe weighs close to 180 but you know it's not his fault It's his - Stand by Me 00:42
The main guy of the story is this fat kid that nobody...
Well all the kids instead of calling him Daviethey call him Lardass Lardass HoganEven his little brother and sister call him LardassAt school they put this sticker on his back that says Wide LoadAnd they rank him out and beat him up whenever they get a - Stand by Me 00:27
Well all the kids instead of calling him Daviethey call him...
And our celebrity contestant, from KLAM in Portland, The Bossman himself, Bob Cormier! - Stand by Me 00:11
And our celebrity contestant, from KLAM in Portland, The...
Thanks, man. - Stand by Me 00:13
Thanks, man.
Next a newcomer to the Pie Eat but one we expectgreat things from in the future young master David HoganAre you all right young man Hey Lardass how was your tripI hear you got a big appetite LardassDon't even think about winning thisBoy are you fat - Stand by Me 00:28
Next a newcomer to the Pie Eat but one we expectgreat things...
- Are you all right, young man? - Stand by Me 00:25
- Are you all right, young man?
Boom, ba-ba boom, ba-ba boom. - Stand by Me 00:15
Boom, ba-ba boom, ba-ba boom.
Listen I got 10 riding on you myself, Billy boy. - Stand by Me 00:23
Listen I got 10 riding on you myself, Billy boy.
Done! Bill! Done! You better pace yourself, if you want to hold out, boy. Come on, Lardass! Lardass! - Stand by Me 00:18
Done! Bill! Done! You better pace yourself, if you want to...
What the audience didn't know, was that Lardass wasn't really interested in winning. - Stand by Me 00:18
What the audience didn't know, was that Lardass...
And our celebrity contestant from KLAM in Portland, The Bossman himself, Bob Cormier! - Stand by Me 00:11
And our celebrity contestant from KLAM in Portland, The...
Hey, from the racks and stacks, it's the best on wax. - Stand by Me 00:40
Hey, from the racks and stacks, it's the best on wax.
Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth. - Stand by Me 00:56
Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth.
But there's one thing I didn't understandDid Lardass have to pay to get into the contestNo Vern they just let him in - Stand by Me 00:13
But there's one thing I didn't understandDid...
We talked into the nightThe kind of talk that seemed important until you discover girls - Stand by Me 00:08
We talked into the nightThe kind of talk that seemed...
Mickey's a mouse Donald's a duck Pluto's a dogWhat's GoofyIf I could only have one food for the rest of my lifeThat's easy PezCherry flavored Pez No question about itGoofy's a dog He's definitely a dogI knew The 64 000 Question was fixedThere's no way - Stand by Me 00:49
Mickey's a mouse Donald's a duck Pluto's a...
Oh, my God. - Stand by Me 00:08
Oh, my God.
I promise I won't hock no more dirty books. - Stand by Me 00:11
I promise I won't hock no more dirty books.