My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got...
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Dewey Oxburger:
My name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. You might have noticed that, uh, I've got a slight weight problem.
Soldiers:
Nooo! Noooo!
Dewey Oxburger:
Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST, those type of things. Anyway, it cost 400 bucks! 400 bucks to join this thing? Well I didn't have the money and I thought to myself, "Join the army"! It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds. And you got what, a 6 to 8 week training program here? A real tough one. Which is perfect for me.
[Looks around at all the soldiers and gestures emphatically]
Dewey Oxburger:
I'm going to walk out of here a Lean, Mean, Fightin' Machine! Ha ha ha ha!
Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.045
My name's Dewey Oxberger My friends call me Ox
00:00:05.212 --> 00:00:08.214
You might have noticed I've got a slight weight problem
00:00:08.633 --> 00:00:10.467
No Yeah I do
00:00:10.635 --> 00:00:13.178
Anyway I went to this doctor
00:00:13.346 --> 00:00:16.681
Well he told me I swallowed a lot of aggression
00:00:16.849 --> 00:00:18.808
along with a lot of pizzas
00:00:18.976 --> 00:00:20.056
Pizzas
00:00:21.002 --> 00:00:23.104
I'm basically a shy person
00:00:23.272 --> 00:00:25.231
I'm a shy guy
00:00:25.399 --> 00:00:28.985
and he suggested taking one of these aggression training courses
00:00:29.153 --> 00:00:32.781
You know these aggressive training courses like EST those type of things
00:00:32.948 --> 00:00:36.368
Anyway it costs 400 bucks to join this thing
00:00:36.535 --> 00:00:39.162
Well I didn't have the money
00:00:39.033 --> 00:00:44.584
And I thought to myself Join the Army It's free
00:00:44.752 --> 00:00:48.978
So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds
00:00:48.172 --> 00:00:51.001
You got a six to eight week training program here a tough one
00:00:51.258 --> 00:00:53.259
Which is perfect for me
00:00:53.427 --> 00:00:57.597
I'm gonna walk out of here a lean mean fighting machine
Clip duration: 64 seconds
Views: 1681
Timestamp in movie: 00h 32m 55s
Uploaded: 19 November, 2022
Genres: comedy, war
Summary: Two friends who are dissatisfied with their jobs decide to join the army for a bit of fun.
Comments
Actors
00:08 All the plants are gonna die
00:33 Let's hear your story
00:07 How's it going
00:23 Do you think I'm officer material
00:27 I've always been kind of a pacifist
00:17 THAT'S THE FACT
00:14 I guess we're going after John and Russell
00:43 Welcome to the United States Army
00:06 Does this mean we're through for the day
01:02 I know you're anxious to jump right in and start...
00:10 What kind of training
00:15 I've noticed that you're always last
00:25 I joined the army 'cause my father and my brother were...
00:16 Wash off the soap
01:11 Explain yourselves
00:13 It's not the speed really so much
00:08 Tito Puente's gonna be dead
00:24 We got a full day ahead of us
01:16 I'm talking about something important
00:47 Are you going AWOL