Mr. Popham! What are you doin' with them women? It's the Sabbath! I'm looking for a work...

Mariah Popham: Mr. Popham! What are you doin' with them women? It's the Sabbath! Osh Popham: [looking at pictures of scantily-clad women] I'm looking for a work of art to take over to the Careys. Lotta wall space there. Hand me that apron. Mariah Popham: You can't take any of that junk! Osh Popham: [dusting off one picture] She had a kind face. Pity she kept liquor on her. Mariah Popham: [dusting off another picture] There's only one that's fit to hang. She wasn't much to look at, but she was a good woman. Spent her life on the opposin' side. If she hadn't went down with the wreck off Nantucket Light, the demon rum would've been chased off the New England coast. A real martyr. Insisted on goin' down the ship. Everyone else was saved, crew and captain. Osh Popham: That's a mighty inspirin' story. Mariah, relax and enjoy yourself at the Careys today. This is not time the time to be upsettin' 'em with cold hard facts. Mariah Popham: I'm warnin' you, Mr. Popham, one day the town constable will come in here and catch you at your sins, and you'll spend the rest of your life in the state prison! Osh Popham: Mariah, aren't you forgettin' the town constable happens to be named Ossium Popham?