Want HD quality instead of ads? Get Pro
To watch in HD, get ClipCafe PRO
I don't know why
Unmute video

When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal,...

Something wrong with the clip?

Quote

Seth: When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it. For some reason, I don't know why. I would just kinda... sit around all day... and draw pictures of dicks. Evan: What? Seth: Draw pictures of dicks. Evan: Dicks? Like a man dick? Seth: Yes. Like a man dick. [while you see Seth when he was a kid] Seth: I'd just sit there hours on end drawing dicks. I didn't know what it was. I couldn't touch the pen to the paper without drawing the shape of a penis. Evan: That's fucked. Seth: No shit. It's really fucked up. Here I am. A little kid. And I can't stop drawing dicks to save my own life. [you see the kid Seth draw a lot of different dicks on different sheets of paper and see a gallery of his drawings one by one] Evan: Alright, I mean... I just don't see what this has to do with Becca. Seth: Just listen. Okay? [you see the kid Seth in a classroom] Seth: Your precious little Becca sat next to me for all of fourth grade. And in the classroom was where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation. Even I thought I was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think? So I would stash all my dick drawings in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. So one day, I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard, all of a sudden... Kid: Pussy! [walks by the kid Seth and pushes his notebook and his dick drawing off the desk, and it lands near kid Becca] Evan: You hit Becca's foot with your dick? Seth: Yeah. I know. [kid Becca picks up the drawing he just did, looks at it for a second, sees that it's a dick, and screams her head off and runs to the teacher] Seth: She starts crying, she flips out. Then she rats me out to the principal. He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest and he fucking flips out. [you see more of his dick drawings one by one] Seth: He calls in my parents. Turns out this principal is a religious fanatic, and he thinks I'm possessed by some sort of dick devil. My parents go make me see some therapist, and he's asking me all these dick questions. They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles... You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds. Evan: Well, I don't... That's really messed up. Supergay.


Transcript

- The whole thing? - Just dump it on. I'm serious. Okay. - And now it looks professional. - That's really impressive. - It's beautifully done. - I think we're gonna get an A. So, what are you doing tonight? - Probably nothing. Why? - I don't know. My parents are gone so I'm having a party. I don't really know how many people are gonna be there... ...but you could stop by if you wanted to. Yeah, I love parties. Really? I just don't really ever see you at them. You know, it's a love-hate thing. So, like, you know, right now, I really love them, though. - Yeah. - Good shit, right, Miroki? Yeah. Hey, Miroki, could we have a minute alone? Just... Thanks. Dude, Jules is having a fucking party. Hey! - Don't tell Fogell about the party. - Gangsters. What's up, guys? I was just walking down the hall and Nicola was right in front of me. She's wearing these tight white pants with this black G-string... ...and you could see right through the pants. It was so sweet. It's 10:33. What? I told her what time it was. That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard in my entire life. - Can I hear it again? You have time? - Yeah, yeah, Seth. I'll miss your knee-slappers when me and Evan are at Dartmouth. While you guys are at Dartmouth, I'll be at State... ...where the girls are half as smart and twice as likely to fellash me. What are you guys doing tonight? Asshole. We got nothing. Nothing tonight, Fogell. No? Well, if nothing comes up, we can get shitfaced again, yeah? You're always calling me a pussy, but today you're wrong. At lunch, I'm going to the same place Mike Snider went... ...to pick up my brand-new fake ID. Yeah. Fake ID. Fake ID. I'm tight. That's insane. Evan was like, "I heard about this party. We shouldn't tell Fogell." I was like, "No, we should tell Fogell." You could buy us booze now. It's awesome. Yeah, I'll... Sure, I'll buy the booze. Yeah, we're gonna get our drinks on. We're gonna party and get crunk and rock out, dude. If you're not in this class, leave this class. Fogell! Hi. Okay. Gotta go. Well done. Seriously. See you after class. You tell that idiot you're not rooming with him? Not yet. No. All right, well, you better. That guy's the fucking anti-poon. Seth, it's dishes time. What's the holdup? We're getting a fake ID, so... - It's not like a big deal. - Wow, that's cool. But you guys have, like, four more years to go... ...so do you wanna get to work? Well, we got into different schools, so... So you're cutting the cord? What's gonna happen? Nothing. Jeez, what does everybody think is gonna happen? The world's gonna explode if we don't spend every second together? I mean, we're not dependent on each other, you know. We met when we were 8. We were fine before then. I was. I mean, it's like, we don't do everything together. No. All right, I gotta take a piss. My dick's not gonna shake itself. Come on, babe. - He's a crack-up. - I'm just gonna go. Well, at least we're getting a graduation party. Thank God, man. I'm excited. I would do terrible, disgusting things to hook up with Jules. - Unforgivable things. - I hear you, man. I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca. Becca's a bitch. You know what? I'm seriously getting fucking sick of you... ...talking about her like that, if we can be honest. - Me too. - Why do you hate her so much? You've never given me a reason. I think you like her. - Fuck no, man! I hate Becca. - Why, man? Fine, Evan. Here it comes. When I was a little kid, I kind of had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal. Something like 8 percent of kids do it, but whatever. It's... For some reason, I don't know why, I would just kind of sit around all day... ...and draw pictures of dicks. What? Draw pictures of dicks. Dicks? Like a man dick? Yeah. Like a man dick. I'd sit there for hours, drawing dicks. I don't know what it was. I couldn't touch the pen to paper without drawing the shape of a penis. - That's fucked. - No shit, it's really fucked up. Here I am, this little kid... ... and I can't stop drawing dicks to save my own life. All right. I mean, I don't see what this has to do with Becca. Just listen. Okay? Your precious little Becca sat next to me for all of fourth grade. And in the classroom is where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation I had going on. Even I thought I was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think. So I would stash all of my dick drawings...

Clip duration: 303 seconds
Views: 1604
Timestamp in movie: 00h 00m 00s
Uploaded: 13 December, 2020
Genres: comedy
Summary: Two co-dependent high school seniors are forced to deal with separation anxiety after their plan to stage a booze-soaked party goes awry.


Comments

You can comment anonymously or Log In
Anon
1 year ago
I loved these type of movies when I was a little fat kid. Mclovin is the best! So is Evan and Seth. I wonder if you guys finished filming Superbad around Jonah’s Hill birthday.

Actors