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Officer Michaels:
You know, this job though isn't how shows like CSI make it out to be, when I first joined the force, I was under the impression that everything was covered in a fine layer of semen. And that the police had at their disposal a semen database with every bad guy's semen on it. Not true! Officer Slater:
Yup Officer Michaels:
If only there was semen on everything, it would make our jobs easier... Officer Slater:
Hell, yeah! Officer Michaels:
I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where everything is covered in semen. Officer Slater:
I mean, who doesn't? It's like your wish that you could walk out of a room and just know where the semen was. You just know like Sherlock Holmes, if he was in his day, Sherlock Holomes, in his day... And this is a proven historical fact. Sherlock Holmes, when he was alive, knew where semen was. Officer Michaels:
Could Smell it out like a rat. Officer Slater:
Smell it out. ANything Officer Michaels:
Like the crime scene today, if the man had ejaculated and then punched you in the face, we'd have a real good shot at catching him... Officer Slater:
No way, Officer Michaels:
Just punched you in the face. No semen. Officer Slater:
Yeah, No semen. And that's the only way you can find DNA by the way, if it's in the jizz. Officer Michaels:
Semen. It's the best DNA, is in the jizz. Officer Slater:
I'm telling you right now, sometimes I just want to make you know, live in a world of semen. That's funny you say that because I feel the same same way... Officer Michaels:
It's true Officer Slater:
I would make semen snowballs... Officer Michaels:
It would just make our lives easier if everything was covered in semen. Officer Slater:
Yeah, no crime. Officer Michaels:
Just semen. FUck, that'd be nice. Officer Slater:
I think we've exhausted this point. Sherlock Holmes, in his day, would look at you and say: "Five nights ago, Veronica Shear, USA Up All Night." Officer Michaels:
Four ounces. Officer Slater:
I know that, four ounces into your hand. Officer Michaels:
One time we found semen, one time. Fogell:
I thought you said you never found semen. Officer Slater:
One time we found semen, One time we found semen, we've got really excited, took it back to the lab, turned out it was Michaels' semen
You know, this job though isn't how shows like CSI make it out to be, when I first joined the force, I was under the impression that everything was covered in a fine layer of semen. And that the police had at their disposal a semen database with every bad guy's semen on it. Not true! Officer Slater:
Yup Officer Michaels:
If only there was semen on everything, it would make our jobs easier... Officer Slater:
Hell, yeah! Officer Michaels:
I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where everything is covered in semen. Officer Slater:
I mean, who doesn't? It's like your wish that you could walk out of a room and just know where the semen was. You just know like Sherlock Holmes, if he was in his day, Sherlock Holomes, in his day... And this is a proven historical fact. Sherlock Holmes, when he was alive, knew where semen was. Officer Michaels:
Could Smell it out like a rat. Officer Slater:
Smell it out. ANything Officer Michaels:
Like the crime scene today, if the man had ejaculated and then punched you in the face, we'd have a real good shot at catching him... Officer Slater:
No way, Officer Michaels:
Just punched you in the face. No semen. Officer Slater:
Yeah, No semen. And that's the only way you can find DNA by the way, if it's in the jizz. Officer Michaels:
Semen. It's the best DNA, is in the jizz. Officer Slater:
I'm telling you right now, sometimes I just want to make you know, live in a world of semen. That's funny you say that because I feel the same same way... Officer Michaels:
It's true Officer Slater:
I would make semen snowballs... Officer Michaels:
It would just make our lives easier if everything was covered in semen. Officer Slater:
Yeah, no crime. Officer Michaels:
Just semen. FUck, that'd be nice. Officer Slater:
I think we've exhausted this point. Sherlock Holmes, in his day, would look at you and say: "Five nights ago, Veronica Shear, USA Up All Night." Officer Michaels:
Four ounces. Officer Slater:
I know that, four ounces into your hand. Officer Michaels:
One time we found semen, one time. Fogell:
I thought you said you never found semen. Officer Slater:
One time we found semen, One time we found semen, we've got really excited, took it back to the lab, turned out it was Michaels' semen
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.461
This job really isn't how you know shows like CSI make it out to be
00:00:04.628 --> 00:00:08.299
When I first joined the force I assumed there was semen on everything
00:00:08.465 --> 00:00:11.051
and there was some like huge semen database
00:00:11.218 --> 00:00:14.018
that had every bad guy's semen in it There isn't That doesn't exist
00:00:14.555 --> 00:00:17.391
I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where
00:00:17.558 --> 00:00:20.998
everything is covered in semen I mean who doesn't
00:00:20.186 --> 00:00:21.979
It'd be nice Like that crime scene today
00:00:22.146 --> 00:00:24.607
If the man had ejaculated and then punched you in the face
00:00:24.773 --> 00:00:26.275
we'd have a real good shot at catching him
00:00:26.442 --> 00:00:28.001
No way Just punched in the face no semen
00:00:28.194 --> 00:00:29.737
No semen
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Movie Summary
Two co-dependent high school seniors are forced to deal with separation anxiety after their plan to stage a booze-soaked party goes awry.
