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"Swiss Army Man" quotes

Swiss Army Man poster
A hopeless man stranded on a deserted island befriends a dead body, and together they go on a surreal journey to get home.

Director: Dan Kwan, Daniel Scheinert
Writer: Daniel Scheinert, Dan Kwan
Production: N/A
Year: 2016
MetaScore: 64/100
ImdbRating: 6.9
BoxOffice: $4,210,454
Released: 01 Jul 2016
Awards: 8 wins & 31 nominations
Ah you're the grossest thing in this gross world - Swiss Army Man 00:06 Ah you're the grossest thing in this gross world Sarah do you ever masturbate What - Swiss Army Man 00:18 Sarah do you ever masturbate What I'm gonna show Sarah how much I care about her every single day - Swiss Army Man 00:19 I'm gonna show Sarah how much I care about her every... I wanna have sex - Swiss Army Man 00:21 I wanna have sex Let's have a party - Swiss Army Man 00:06 Let's have a party Hey I didn't mean that - Swiss Army Man 00:11 Hey I didn't mean that I'm sorry I - Swiss Army Man 00:12 I'm sorry I So this is it - Swiss Army Man 00:12 So this is it And we sang and we danced - Swiss Army Man 00:09 And we sang and we danced You're like the multipurpose tool guy - Swiss Army Man 00:12 You're like the multipurpose tool guy I don't know exactly what masturbation is or how it works - Swiss Army Man 00:37 I don't know exactly what masturbation is or how it... You know I - Swiss Army Man 00:59 You know I Let me eat you - Swiss Army Man 00:06 Let me eat you How do you expect anyone to want to talk to you if you sound retarded - Swiss Army Man 00:11 How do you expect anyone to want to talk to you if you sound... What is Netflix - Swiss Army Man 00:14 What is Netflix Remember when you put that cork in my butt - Swiss Army Man 00:13 Remember when you put that cork in my butt Back in civilization there's 7 billion other living people on the planet - Swiss Army Man 00:33 Back in civilization there's 7 billion other living... My name's Manny - Swiss Army Man 00:29 My name's Manny I'm scared of whatever took that poop But why though - Swiss Army Man 00:17 I'm scared of whatever took that poop But why though Hurry before you starve and die - Swiss Army Man 00:09 Hurry before you starve and die You're You're a miracle or - Swiss Army Man 00:08 You're You're a miracle or I just had a thought about a thought - Swiss Army Man 00:10 I just had a thought about a thought You want to go home so you can have love - Swiss Army Man 00:22 You want to go home so you can have love Oh God I'm disgusting - Swiss Army Man 00:08 Oh God I'm disgusting You just seemed really happy and I wasn't - Swiss Army Man 00:07 You just seemed really happy and I wasn't Boobs vaginas and butts - Swiss Army Man 00:08 Boobs vaginas and butts Hello world - Swiss Army Man 00:44 Hello world What should I do now - Swiss Army Man 00:45 What should I do now Hey buddy - Swiss Army Man 00:05 Hey buddy I don't know Is this crying - Swiss Army Man 00:10 I don't know Is this crying What's important is you remembering your life - Swiss Army Man 00:17 What's important is you remembering your life Buses are for people who don't know each other - Swiss Army Man 00:09 Buses are for people who don't know each other Poop is when your body takes everything it doesn't want - Swiss Army Man 00:09 Poop is when your body takes everything it doesn't want We're gonna die That's a thought - Swiss Army Man 00:18 We're gonna die That's a thought And so now when you masturbate - Swiss Army Man 00:06 And so now when you masturbate Manny I think your penis is guiding us home - Swiss Army Man 00:09 Manny I think your penis is guiding us home I'm scared 'cause I think if I die I might really miss you - Swiss Army Man 00:12 I'm scared 'cause I think if I die I might really... What the fuck - Swiss Army Man 00:04 What the fuck Every day you ride the bus and count the minutes - Swiss Army Man 01:12 Every day you ride the bus and count the minutes Maybe that's just something the brain invents to survive - Swiss Army Man 00:58 Maybe that's just something the brain invents to... Girls must be so nice if they let guys do all those things to them - Swiss Army Man 00:09 Girls must be so nice if they let guys do all those things... Well you can't just say everything that comes into your head - Swiss Army Man 00:10 Well you can't just say everything that comes into your... I have a lot of questions about all the things you just said - Swiss Army Man 00:10 I have a lot of questions about all the things you just said If you don't know Jurassic Park you don't know shit - Swiss Army Man 00:12 If you don't know Jurassic Park you don't know... Hank when I masturbate I'm gonna think about your mom - Swiss Army Man 00:13 Hank when I masturbate I'm gonna think about your mom I mean before the Internet every girl was a lot more special - Swiss Army Man 00:15 I mean before the Internet every girl was a lot more special Because I'm just a scared ugly useless person - Swiss Army Man 00:30 Because I'm just a scared ugly useless person Thoughts like if my best friend keeps his farts from me - Swiss Army Man 00:22 Thoughts like if my best friend keeps his farts from me

Cast