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Hank when I masturbateI'm gonna think about your mom
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Swiss Army Man

Hank, when I masturbate, I'm gonna think about your mom

Manny:
Hank, when I masturbate, I'm gonna think about your mom

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.099
Hank when I masturbate
00:00:03.134 --> 00:00:05.998
I'm gonna think about your mom
Available in 7 languages
Duration
6 seconds
Views
641
Timestamp in Movie
00:36:49
Uploaded
Mar 12, 2026
Genres
comedy, drama, fantasy
Production
BlackBird,Tadmor,Astrakan Films,Cold Iron Pictures,Prettybird

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Movie Summary

A hopeless man stranded on a deserted island befriends a dead body, and together they go on a surreal journey to get home.

Actors

Daniel Radcliffe
Manny
Daniel Radcliffe
Manny, hey. - Swiss Army Man 00:31
Manny, hey.
Whoa! Ooh. Holy... Something enormous took a dump here. We better be careful. Ohh! Careful. - Swiss Army Man 00:19
Whoa! Ooh. Holy... Something enormous took a dump here. We...
I'm scared of whatever took that poopBut why thoughBecause only huge scary thingstake poops that bigSo what Everything poopsYes but if it finds us it will eat usand push us out its butt and turn us into poop - Swiss Army Man 00:17
I'm scared of whatever took that poopBut why...
Wow. Hank. What am I looking at? That's a-- a phone. Phone is beautiful. No, no, no, no, no. That's - Swiss Army Man 00:55
Wow. Hank. What am I looking at? That's a-- a phone....
I have a lot of questionsabout all the things you just said - Swiss Army Man 00:06
I have a lot of questionsabout all the things you just said
Now can I see her? - Swiss Army Man 00:10
Now can I see her?
Maybe-- Maybe you could dress up like before so I could remember? - Swiss Army Man 00:46
Maybe-- Maybe you could dress up like before so I could...
Stupid. - Swiss Army Man 00:11
Stupid.
Wow. That talking was good. Yeah. See? It's working already. What are you doing? I'm singing a song - Swiss Army Man 00:24
Wow. That talking was good. Yeah. See? It's working...
Well? Uh... what should I do now? Um... okay, maybe you talk to her. W-What do I talk about? Just, y - Swiss Army Man 00:19
Well? Uh... what should I do now? Um... okay, maybe you talk...
What should I do nowUmokay maybe you talk to herW What do I talk aboutJust you know whatever comes naturallyHelloI don't know whybut I have this sudden urgeto put my mouth on your mouthOkay that's called kissingbut you can't do that yet That's too fastOh - Swiss Army Man 00:42
What should I do nowUmokay maybe you talk to herW What do I...
Hello. I don't know why, but I have this sudden urge to put my mouth on your mouth. - Swiss Army Man 00:34
Hello. I don't know why, but I have this sudden urge to...
Buses are for people who don't know each other - Swiss Army Man 00:04
Buses are for people who don't know each other
So this is itThis is the life I've forgotten - Swiss Army Man 00:08
So this is itThis is the life I've forgotten
Every day you ride the bus and count the minuteshoping you'll see her againOh my Godmusic playingvocalizing Jurassic Park themeShe smilesand you feel a strange tingle up the back of your neckspitsSomething carnal inside of youcauses your body to break out - Swiss Army Man 01:06
Every day you ride the bus and count the minuteshoping...
Oh, my God. - Swiss Army Man 00:07
Oh, my God.
Try these on. - Swiss Army Man 00:21
Try these on.
Are you sitting alone? - Swiss Army Man 00:21
Are you sitting alone?
Hank. Hmm? Pick up my hand. Okay, now put it on her hand. - Swiss Army Man 00:11
Hank. Hmm? Pick up my hand. Okay, now put it on her hand.
My name is S... - Swiss Army Man 00:29
My name is S...