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MAN: This is some fucked-up shit

Hey. Manny,there you are. You look familiar.Are you ready? We are going livein five...

Swiss Army Man • 2016

MAN: This issome fucked-up shit. You really thinkhe just found the body? SECOND MAN:The abrasions seem to havehappened postmortem, and discolorationon the abdomen tells me he's probablya bridge jumper. We find their bodieswashed up on the beachall the time. That must bewhere he found him, so actually checks out. What do they dowith him now? He'll spend two weeksin the morgue while they try to figureout who the hell he is, and when nobody comesto claim the body, becausenobody ever does, the countycan pay for a funeral no one'll show up to, because obviouslyno one cared about thisson of a bitchto begin with. Hey. Yeah? Don't I know you?WOMAN:Hey. Manny,there you are. You look familiar.Are you ready? We are going livein five minutes. Right this way. Turn around.Right this way. It's allso exciting,isn't it? They're gonna loveyour story. Find anythingon the cellphone? They're checking itout right now. There she is. That's the phone? Stand right here.Don't go anywhere

Full Transcript

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vocalizing continues music playing

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MAN This is some fucked up shit

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You really think he just found the body

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SECOND MAN The abrasions seem to have happened postmortem

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and discoloration on the abdomen

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tells me he's probably a bridge jumper

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We find their bodies washed up on the beach all the time

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That must be where he found him

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so actually checks out

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What do they do with him now

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He'll spend two weeks in the morgue

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while they try to figure out who the hell he is

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and when nobody comes to claim the body

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because nobody ever does

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the county can pay for a funeral

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no one'll show up to

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because obviously no one cared

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about this son of a bitch to begin with

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Hey

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Yeah

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Don't I know you WOMAN Hey

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Manny there you are

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You look familiar Are you ready

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We are going live in five minutes

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Right this way

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Turn around Right this way

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It's all so exciting isn't it

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They're gonna love your story

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Find anything on the cellphone

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They're checking it out right now

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There she is

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That's the phone

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Stand right here Don't go anywhere

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هذا أمر سيء

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أتعتقد أنه وجد الجثة

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التقشر يبدو انه حد ث بعد الوفاة

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و تغير اللون على بطنه يخ برني أن سبب الوفاة على الأرجح قفزه من جسر

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نجد جثثهم مغس ولة على الشاطئ طوال الوقت

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هناك من المؤكد قد وجد ه لذا تفقد هذا

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ماذا يفعلون به الآن

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سيقضي أسبوعان في المشرح ة

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بينما يحاولان معرفة من هو

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و عندما لا يأتي أحد لطلب الجثة لأن لا أحد يفعل

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المقاطعة ستد فع تكاليف جنازة لن يأتي بها أحد

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لأنه من الواضح لا أحد أهتم بـ أمر هذا الوغد

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أجل

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ألا أعرف ك

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ماني ها أنت ذا تبدو مألوف ا

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هل أنت جاهز سنبث على الهواء في 5 دقائق

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من هذا الإتجاه إلتفت من هذا الإتجاه

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الأمر مثير جد ا صحيح

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سيحبون قصت ك وجدت أي شيء على الهاتف المحمول

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هم يتفقد ونه الآن

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ها هي ذا هذا الهاتف

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ق ف هنا لا تذهب لأي مكان

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C'est vraiment un truc de fou

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Tu crois vraiment qu'il a juste trouvé le corps

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Les abrasions semble être arrivées postmortem

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et la décoloration de l'abdomen montrent qu'il a du sauter d'un pont

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On trouve ces corps échoués sur la plage tout le temps

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C'est sûrement là qu'il a du le trouver ça peut se vérifier

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Qu'est ce qu'ils vont faire de lui maintenant

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Il passera deux semaines à la morgue

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pendant qu'ils essayeront de trouver qui c'est

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et puis quand personne viendra réclamer le corps parce que jamais personne ne le fait

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le comté peur payer des funérailles où personne ne viendra

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Parce qu'évidemment personne tenait à ce fils de pute

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Hey

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Ouais

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Je vous connais Hey

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Manny te voilà Tu me rappelles quelqu'un

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Vous êtes prêt On est en live dans cinq minutes

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Juste là Tournez vous Juste là

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C'est tellement excitant n'est ce pas

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Ils vont adorer notre histoire T'as trouvé quelque chose sur le portable

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Ils cherchent là

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Elle est là C'est le téléphone

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Restez là Ne bougez plus

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Ini benar benar hal yang kacau

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Menurutmu dia menemukan mayat ini begitu saja

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Luka lecet sepertinya terjadi setelah waktu kematian

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Perubahan warna di bagian perut mungkin menunjukkan dia lompat dari atas jembatan

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Kami sering menemukan mayat orang yang lompat dari jembatan di pantai

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Pasti dia menemukan mayat ini di sana jadi semuanya sesuai dengan keterangan

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Apa yang mereka lakukan dengannya

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Dia akan menghabiskan dua minggu di kamar mayat

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sementara mereka mencoba mencari tahu siapa dia

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dan jika tidak ada yang mengklaim mayatnya karena biasanya seperti itu

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pihak kota bisa membayar biaya pemakaman yang tidak akan didatangi oleh siapa pun

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karena jelas tidak ada yang peduli tentang pria brengsek ini

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Hei

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Ya

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Apa aku mengenalmu Hei

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Manny di sana kau rupanya Kau terlihat tidak asing

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Kau sudah siap Kita akan siaran langsung dalam lima menit

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Lewat sini Berbalik

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Ini semua sangat mendebarkan bukan

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Mereka akan menyukai ceritamu Menemukan sesuatu di ponsel itu

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Mereka sedang memeriksanya saat ini

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Itu dia Itu ponselnya

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Berdiri di sini Jangan pergi ke mana pun

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こりゃまたクソみたい話だな彼が本当に死体を見つけたと思うかい

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擦り傷は死んだあとに付いたみたいだ腹部の変色からして橋の上からの身投げだろう

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そういう死体はビーチで洗い流されてるから彼が死体を見つけた場所かどうか確認してくれ

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死体をどうしたら良いのかな

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2週間は死体安置所だろうな死体の身元が誰なのか把握できなかったり

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誰も名乗り出て来ないときは無名の墓に入れられることになる

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誰もこの糞野郎のことは気にしちゃいなかったってことさ

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おい

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なんだ

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どこかで会ったっけねぇ

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マニーここにいたわ

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準備は良いあと5分でライブ中継が始まるわ

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さぁこっちよ振り向いて

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すごく興奮する体験だったわね見た人はきっとあなたの話を好きになるわ

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これは彼女じゃそれは電話か

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ここに立っててねどこにも行かないでよ

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Это какой то пиздец

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Думаешь что он и в правду просто нашел труп

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Все ссадины нанесены посмертно

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и судя по синякам на животе он скорее всего прыгнул с моста

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Такие тела постоянно выносит на берег

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Это должно быть там где он его нашел мы еще это проверим

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И куда его теперь

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Он проведет две недели в морге

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а мы будем пытаться установить его личность

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и если никто не придет за телом как обычно бывает

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округ за свой счет его похоронит в безымянной могиле

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потому что этот сукин сын никого не волновал с самого начала

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Эй

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Да

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Мы не знакомы Эй

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Мэнни вот ты где Выглядишь знакомо

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Ты готов Мы выходим в эфир через пять минут

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Пойдем со мной Повернись Пойдем сюда

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Это все так интересно да

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Они полюбят твою историю Нашли что нибудь в телефоне

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Они прямо сейчас его проверяют

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Это она Это ее телефон

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Стой здесь Никуда не уходи

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Esto está muy jodido

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De veras cree que halló el cuerpo

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Las abrasiones parecen haber ocurrido post mórtem

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y la decoloración en el abdomen me dice que probablemente saltó del puente

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Hallamos los cuerpos en la playa todo el tiempo

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Debe haberlo hallado ahí así que tiene sentido

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Qué harán ahora con él

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Pasará dos semanas en la morgue mientras tratan de ver quién diablos es

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y cuando nadie venga a reclamar el cuerpo como de costumbre

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el Condado pagará un entierro al que nadie asistirá

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Porque obviamente el hijo de puta no le importaba a nadie

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Oiga

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Si

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No te conozco Oye

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Manny allí estás Tu cara me suena

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Estás listo Saldremos al aire en cinco minutos

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Por aquí Date la vuelta Por aquí

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Qué emocionante verdad

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Les encantará tu historia Hallaron algo en el móvil

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Lo están revisando

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Allí está ella Es el teléfono

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Párate aquí y no te vayas

Available in 7 languages

Duration

60 seconds

Views

92

Timestamp in Movie

01:22:11

Uploaded

Mar 12, 2026

Genres

comedy, drama, fantasy

Production

BlackBird,Tadmor,Astrakan Films,Cold Iron Pictures,Prettybird

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Movie Summary

A hopeless man stranded on a deserted island befriends a dead body, and together they go on a surreal journey to get home.