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Jo Flanagan: [Upon Eloise's return to the table] Are you all right? You look lost.
Eloise McGarry: I do?
Jo Flanagan: If you need help, just ask us.
Eloise McGarry: Sorry, "If I need help"?
Jo Flanagan: Do you? Do you need my help?
Eloise McGarry: Why would I need your help?
Jo Flanagan: Well, you have no one.
Eloise McGarry: [stammers] I did the table assignments with Francie. How could the person who did the table assignments have no one else here? I planned half the wedding. Okay.
Eloise McGarry: [Turns in her chair and starts scanning the entire reception] Table one is Francie, Doug, and everyone who actually matters including Teddy Millner, the best man-child and Nikki Carmichael, the second-choice maid of honor. Table two, Francie's hideous dad...
Walter Thimple: Roger? No, he's a lovely bloke.
Eloise McGarry: [continuing] Roger and his trophy wife, and Doug's parents who are married but miserable. Table three, Francie's disaster of a mother, her actual sorority sisters who are divorced, mostly twice, sometimes more.
Rezno Eckberg: What's happening now?
Eloise McGarry: Four, Doug's kooky college friends. Five, grandparents, no comment. Six, Doug's dad's military buddies. Seven, decent cousins. Eight, indecent cousins including Infamous Kate, the Millner family nymphomaniac.
Rezno Eckberg: Where is eight now?
Eloise McGarry: Nine, Francie's scintillating work. 10, Doug's even more scintillating work. 11, kids' table, no comment. 12 & 13 are two tables of singles, one supposedly cool, the other supposedly not. 14, Doug's dad's diner world connections.
Jerry Kepp: The hell are we doing back here?
Eloise McGarry: 15 are the wedding hires including the reverend, the hairdresser, the hairdresser's colorist. And then there's three more tables until you get back here. Do you know what Francie's mother calls this table?
Jo Flanagan: Enough.
Eloise McGarry: What Carol Millner calls Table 19? The table that should have known to RSVP regrets... but not before sending something nice off the registry.
Jo Flanagan: Enough.
Eloise McGarry: The table that could disappear in the middle of the wedding and no one would even notice.
Jo Flanagan: [Slamming her fists down angrily] Enough!
Eloise McGarry: I did the table assignments with Francie before I was replaced as maid of honor because her brother broke up with me over text after two years. That's the kind of table this is.
Jo Flanagan: I told Francie Millner a never-ending story when she was five. I taught her a dozen rock-n-roll songs. I gave her, her favorite toy in the world. A golden bird that she so loved, I bet she still has it now. Does that sound like a person they would put at a table of people they don't care about?
Eloise McGarry: It sounds like someone who was invited to a wedding because Francie's mother found out she was paying $200 a plate for the groom's nanny and wanted to settle the score.
[Jo looks over to see Doug's mother and his nanny share a kiss and pose for a picture]
Eloise McGarry: Oh, and me too. I mean, I'm here too. Even though Teddy Millner is the worst person I ever knew. I wanted to see if maybe I was still in love with him. So, thanks for the offer but I'm done looking for help from people who are as lost as I am
Eloise McGarry: I do?
Jo Flanagan: If you need help, just ask us.
Eloise McGarry: Sorry, "If I need help"?
Jo Flanagan: Do you? Do you need my help?
Eloise McGarry: Why would I need your help?
Jo Flanagan: Well, you have no one.
Eloise McGarry: [stammers] I did the table assignments with Francie. How could the person who did the table assignments have no one else here? I planned half the wedding. Okay.
Eloise McGarry: [Turns in her chair and starts scanning the entire reception] Table one is Francie, Doug, and everyone who actually matters including Teddy Millner, the best man-child and Nikki Carmichael, the second-choice maid of honor. Table two, Francie's hideous dad...
Walter Thimple: Roger? No, he's a lovely bloke.
Eloise McGarry: [continuing] Roger and his trophy wife, and Doug's parents who are married but miserable. Table three, Francie's disaster of a mother, her actual sorority sisters who are divorced, mostly twice, sometimes more.
Rezno Eckberg: What's happening now?
Eloise McGarry: Four, Doug's kooky college friends. Five, grandparents, no comment. Six, Doug's dad's military buddies. Seven, decent cousins. Eight, indecent cousins including Infamous Kate, the Millner family nymphomaniac.
Rezno Eckberg: Where is eight now?
Eloise McGarry: Nine, Francie's scintillating work. 10, Doug's even more scintillating work. 11, kids' table, no comment. 12 & 13 are two tables of singles, one supposedly cool, the other supposedly not. 14, Doug's dad's diner world connections.
Jerry Kepp: The hell are we doing back here?
Eloise McGarry: 15 are the wedding hires including the reverend, the hairdresser, the hairdresser's colorist. And then there's three more tables until you get back here. Do you know what Francie's mother calls this table?
Jo Flanagan: Enough.
Eloise McGarry: What Carol Millner calls Table 19? The table that should have known to RSVP regrets... but not before sending something nice off the registry.
Jo Flanagan: Enough.
Eloise McGarry: The table that could disappear in the middle of the wedding and no one would even notice.
Jo Flanagan: [Slamming her fists down angrily] Enough!
Eloise McGarry: I did the table assignments with Francie before I was replaced as maid of honor because her brother broke up with me over text after two years. That's the kind of table this is.
Jo Flanagan: I told Francie Millner a never-ending story when she was five. I taught her a dozen rock-n-roll songs. I gave her, her favorite toy in the world. A golden bird that she so loved, I bet she still has it now. Does that sound like a person they would put at a table of people they don't care about?
Eloise McGarry: It sounds like someone who was invited to a wedding because Francie's mother found out she was paying $200 a plate for the groom's nanny and wanted to settle the score.
[Jo looks over to see Doug's mother and his nanny share a kiss and pose for a picture]
Eloise McGarry: Oh, and me too. I mean, I'm here too. Even though Teddy Millner is the worst person I ever knew. I wanted to see if maybe I was still in love with him. So, thanks for the offer but I'm done looking for help from people who are as lost as I am
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.996
Are you all right You look lost
00:00:05.087 --> 00:00:06.088
I do
00:00:06.172 --> 00:00:09.999
If you need help just ask us
00:00:10.051 --> 00:00:11.802
Sorry If I need help
00:00:11.886 --> 00:00:14.555
Do you Do you need my help
00:00:14.639 --> 00:00:16.001
Why would I need your help
00:00:16.766 --> 00:00:18.184
Well you have no one
00:00:19.977 --> 00:00:21.395
stammers
00:00:21.479 --> 00:00:23.189
I did the table assignments with Francie
00:00:23.272 --> 00:00:26.317
How could the person who did the table assignments have no one else here
00:00:26.004 --> 00:00:28.999
I planned half the wedding
00:00:31.572 --> 00:00:32.657
Okay
00:00:32.074 --> 00:00:34.045
Table one is Francie Doug and everyone who
00:00:34.533 --> 00:00:35.091
actually matters including Teddy Millner
00:00:35.993 --> 00:00:37.328
the best man child and Nikki Carmichael
00:00:37.411 --> 00:00:38.496
the second choice maid of honor
00:00:38.579 --> 00:00:40.079
Table two Francie's hideous dad No he's a lovely bloke
00:00:40.873 --> 00:00:43.376
Roger and his trophy wife and Doug's parents who are married but miserable
00:00:43.459 --> 00:00:44.096
Table three Francie's disaster of a mother
00:00:45.997 --> 00:00:47.254
her actual sorority sisters who are all divorced mostly twice
00:00:47.338 --> 00:00:48.673
sometimes more What's happening now
00:00:48.756 --> 00:00:49.965
Four Doug's kooky college friends
00:00:50.999 --> 00:00:51.258
Five grandparents no comment
00:00:51.342 --> 00:00:52.635
Six Doug's dad's military buddies
00:00:52.718 --> 00:00:53.719
Seven decent cousins
00:00:53.803 --> 00:00:55.429
Eight indecent cousins including Infamous Kate
00:00:55.513 --> 00:00:57.473
the Millner family nymphomaniac Where is eight now
00:00:57.556 --> 00:01:00.997
Nine Francie's scintillating work 10 Doug's even more scintillating work
00:01:00.142 --> 00:01:02.052
11 kids' table no comment 12 and 13 are two tables of singles
00:01:02.603 --> 00:01:04.105
one supposedly cool the other supposedly not
00:01:04.188 --> 00:01:05.648
14 Doug's dad's diner world connections
00:01:05.999 --> 00:01:07.999
The hell are we doing back here 15 are the wedding hires
00:01:07.001 --> 00:01:10.003
including a reverend a hairdresser a hairdresser's colorist
00:01:10.152 --> 00:01:12.053
And then there's three more tables until you get back here
00:01:12.613 --> 00:01:14.001
Do you know what Francie's mother calls this table
00:01:14.999 --> 00:01:15.199
JO Enough
00:01:15.282 --> 00:01:16.001
What Carol Millner calls Table 19
00:01:16.617 --> 00:01:18.452
The table that should have known to RSVP regrets
00:01:18.536 --> 00:01:20.413
but not before sending something nice off the registry
00:01:20.496 --> 00:01:22.123
Enough The table that could disappear
00:01:22.206 --> 00:01:24.208
in the middle of the wedding and no one would even notice
00:01:24.291 --> 00:01:25.501
Enough
00:01:25.584 --> 00:01:27.997
I did the table assignments with Francie
00:01:27.128 --> 00:01:28.001
before I was replaced as maid of honor
00:01:28.504 --> 00:01:31.999
because her brother broke up with me over text after two years
00:01:31.001 --> 00:01:33.384
That's the kind of table this is
00:01:33.467 --> 00:01:38.431
I told Francie Millner a never ending story when she was five
00:01:38.514 --> 00:01:42.996
I taught her a dozen rock n roll songs
00:01:42.101 --> 00:01:46.355
I gave her her favorite toy in the world
00:01:46.999 --> 00:01:48.858
A golden bird that she so loved
00:01:48.941 --> 00:01:51.998
I bet she still has it now
00:01:52.001 --> 00:01:55.999
Does that sound like a person they would put at a table
00:01:55.001 --> 00:01:58.999
of people they don't care about
00:01:58.001 --> 00:02:00.911
It sounds like someone who was invited to a wedding
00:02:00.995 --> 00:02:02.246
because Francie's mother found out
00:02:02.999 --> 00:02:04.999
she was paying 200 a plate for the groom's nanny
00:02:04.001 --> 00:02:06.834
and wanted to settle the score
00:02:07.999 --> 00:02:09.999
people laughing camera clicking
00:02:14.001 --> 00:02:15.999
ELOISE Oh and me too
00:02:16.909 --> 00:02:17.595
I mean I'm here too
00:02:17.678 --> 00:02:20.001
Even though Teddy Millner is the worst person I ever knew
00:02:20.001 --> 00:02:23.684
I wanted to see if maybe I was still in love with him
00:02:23.768 --> 00:02:26.001
So thanks for the offer but I'm done looking for help from people
00:02:26.001 --> 00:02:28.999
who are as lost as I am
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Movie Summary
Eloise, having been relieved of maid of honor duties after being unceremoniously dumped by the best man via text, decides to attend the wedding anyway, only to find herself seated with five fellow unwanted guests at the dreaded Table
