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Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis

Don't tell me how to do my job.I'm God, damn it!

[chortling] Don't tell me how to do my job.
I'm God, damn it!

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.461
[chortling]
00:00:05.379 --> 00:00:07.923
Don't tell me how to do my job. I'm God, damn it!
Duration
8 seconds
Views
35
Timestamp in Movie
00:19:12
Uploaded
Jun 01, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

She's halfway through her 20s, and she's over it. Too old to party, too young to settle down, comedian Taylor Tomlinson takes aim at her life choices.
I will say, though, the best time to date - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:07
I will say, though, the best time to date
Oh, after I broke off my engagement, I was like, - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:09
Oh, after I broke off my engagement, I was like,
I just wanted a fresh one who didn't know I was crazy, who'd come in like, - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:07
I just wanted a fresh one who didn't know I was crazy, ...
You're sitting across from him at dinner while he talks about his ex. You're like, - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:10
You're sitting across from him at dinner while he talks...
She made a fake Facebook account to stalk you after you blocked her? - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:05
She made a fake Facebook account to stalk you after you bloc...
That's insane. I would never do that... on Facebook. She sounds old." - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:05
That's insane. I would never do that... on Facebook. Sh...
I should've known. The name sounds like giving up. Just like, - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:07
I should've known. The name sounds like giving up. Just...
I just don't like dating apps because I feel like people - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:09
I just don't like dating apps because I feel like peopl...
I talked to a guy who told me on Tinder, his opening line, - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:10
I talked to a guy who told me on Tinder, his opening line,
That's me choking on his dick 'cause that's a great line. I mean, that's... - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:04
That's me choking on his dick 'cause that's a...
I had a guy on OkCupid send me an emoji as an opening line. - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:05
I had a guy on OkCupid send me an emoji as an opening line.
Not a cute one. Not like a heart or a kissy face, - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:06
Not a cute one. Not like a heart or a kissy face,
You know the one you never touch 'cause it looks like Pac-Man getting a colonoscopy? - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:05
You know the one you never touch 'cause it looks like P...
Half of you won't enjoy this joke 'cause you don't know what I'm talking about. - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:04
Half of you won't enjoy this joke 'cause you don&#...
I responded. I was like, "I gotta make sure this guy doesn't hurt anybody." - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:08
I responded. I was like, "I gotta make sure this guy do...
Are you negging me? What's happening here?" He goes, - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:23
Are you negging me? What's happening here?" He goe...
Dr. Douche Rocket, I'm sorry." - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:07
Dr. Douche Rocket, I'm sorry."
Your creepy uncle trying to corner you at Christmas. - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:04
Your creepy uncle trying to corner you at Christmas.
"You're so big now. Let's dance." - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:19
"You're so big now. Let's dance."
I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I did start using weed this last year. - Taylor Tomlinson: Quarter-Life Crisis 00:05
I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I did start using...