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Ted 2

Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law.

Director

Seth MacFarlane

Year

Genre

Box Office

$81,476,385

Production

Smart Entertainment,Universal Pictures,Fuzzy Door Productions,Bluegrass Films,MRC

Awards

3 wins & 4 nominations

Homepage

https://www.uphe.com/movies/ted-2

Part of Collection

Ted Collection: Ted, Ted 2

John

Ted

Seth MacFarlane

Samantha

Amanda Seyfried

Tami-Lynn

Donny

Giovanni Ribisi

Patrick Meighan

Self

Guy

Patrick Warburton

Rick

Frank

Bill Smitrovich

Shep Wild

Joy

Tom Jessup

John Carroll Lynch

Judge

Customer

Fertility Doctor

Dennis Haysbert

Narrator

Patrick Stewart

Self

Jay Leno

Jimmy Kimmel

Kate McKinnon

Bobby Moynihan

Taran Killam

Dr. Ed Danzer

Sebastian Arcelus

Karl Jackson

Comic

Steve Callaghan

Adoption Agent

Female Nurse

Allison

Blind Guy

Craig Ricci Shaynak

Waitress

Todd Kidder

Boston Newscaster

Boston Neighbor

William Xifaras

Portuguese Neighbor

Wedding Singer

NYC Doctor

NYC Nurse

Obi-Wan

Stormtrooper

Jury Foreman

Michael Steven Costello

Juror

Vanessa Vander Pluym

Juror

J. Mark Donaldson

Juror

Bailiff

Bart A. Piscitello Jr.

Receptionist

Band Leader

Robert Holfelder

Cyclist

Michael Trisler

Jogger

Hasbro CEO Assistant

Pundit

Pundit

Pundit

Pundit

Barry Ratcliffe

Pundit

Pundit

Nefetari Spencer

Pundit

Jeffrey Stubblefield

Pundit

Cop (Boston PD)

Cop (Boston PD)

Meighan Assistant

Rachael MacFarlane

Reporter

Christy Scott Cashman

Nerd (Wedgie)

Joseph J. Micucci

Comic Con Fan

Security Guard

Security Guard

Borg

Hellboy

Matthew J. Walters

Vendor

Film Executive

Police Dispatcher

Diner Waitress

Kate B. O'Brien

Bachelor Party Guest

Jump Rope Guy

Wedding Announcer

Ted Toy

Self

Photographer Press Scene

Cake Girl

Brittany O'Connor

Comic Con Attendee

City Hall Photographer

Newspaper Photographer

Giovanni Alabiso

Courtroom Guy

Courthouse Spectator

Stanis Krista Ames

Security Guard

Andreas Arristos

Diner patron

Jacqueline Astbury

Comic Con Attendee

Courtroom Observer

Wedding guest

Jamie Lea Babineau

Courthouse Spectator

Wedding Guest

Commicon Attendee

Booth Girl

Laura Barrett Larkins

Black Super Hero Girl

Comic Con Guest

Joshua W. Beasley

Tina Belcher Magician's Assistant

Comic Con Attendee

Brando Benetton

Dancer

Courthouse Spectator

Steve Bertorelli

Ted's Court Gallery

Vincent M. Biscione

Comic Con Girl

Yacht Guest

Courtroom Observer

Attendent

Bachelor

D. Patrick Bowles

Wedding Guest

NYC Jewish Pedestrian

Court House Specator

Comic Con Attendee

Ted Supporter

Wedding Guest

Lorna j Brunelle

Wedding Guest

Wedding Guest

New York Comic Con Member

JosÃ© BÃ¡ez

My Little Pony Booth Girl

Playstation Owner

Star Wars Cantina

Comic Con Attendee

Herbert Centeno

Comic Con Attendee

Dancer

Dominic Chaiduang

Comic Con Attendee

Attendee

Dustin Christenson

Soda Nerd

Comic Con Security Guard

Library Patron

Piano

Reporter

Attorney

Jeffrey Corazzini

Reporter

Comic Con Attendee

Wedding Guest

Alexandra Creteau

Security Guard

Vincent Cucuzza

Comic Con Attendant

Reporter

Nerdy Comic Con Attendee

Joseph Aaron Delgado

Press Reporter

Steven Dougherty

Teenage Girl

Jordanna Drazin

Pedestrian

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Guest

Michael Eauslin

Supporting

Tyler Rae Edwards

Dancer

Nerdy Comic Con Attendee

Elvis Dino Esquivel

Wedding Guest

Jimmy Fallon

Comic-Con Miss America

Fan #1

Brian Patrick Farrell

Supporting

Wedding Guest

Courtroom Observer

Michelle Fonseca

Waiter

Bar Patron

Goku

Comic Con Attendee

Aldo I. Gallinar

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Attendee

Thor

Connor Garelick

Woman at Diner

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Attendee

Sharon J. Geyer

Wedding Guest

Library Patron

Phyllis A. Gordon

Courtroom Onlooker

Wedding

Karl carlo Green

Comic Con Attendee

Wedding Guest

Library Patron

Elaine Victoria Grey

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Booth Girl

Wedding Guest

Wedding Guest

Reporter

Nerd

Cheering Extra

Becky Burne Harvey

Pedestrian

Crowd Person

nurse

Paul Heinzelmann

Dancer

Brandon Henschel

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Attendee

Blue Disco Space Diva

Pedestrian

Groomsman

Ronald James Hoff Jr

Dancer

Shannon Holtzapffel

Hasbro Lobby Pedestrian

Rosemary Howard

Wedding Guest

Comic Con Attendee

Jahmilla Jackson

Wedding Guest

Loverboy at Comic Con

Court Stenographer

Wedding Guest

Comic Con Attendee

Wedding Reception Guest

Diner

Sam Jones's Girlfriend

Comic Con Attendee

Father of the Bride

Wedding Guest

Remington Keyes

Comic Con Guest

Piano

Comic Con Attendee

Orderly

Jeffery Kincannon

Comic Con Attendee

Chucky

Wedding Guest

Front Row Courtroom Gallery

My Little Pony Girl

Wedding Guest

Comic Con Attendee

Piano

Comic Con Attendee

Juror

Street Thug

Ginger Girl

Toi'ya Leatherwood

Wedding Guest

Comic Con Patron

Scat Pack Girl #2

Kandiss Marie Lewis

Courthouse Crowd

Christopher J. Long

Comic Con Attendee

Wedding Guest

Comic Con Critic

Comic Con Attendee

Pedestrian

Pris

Wedding Guest

Wedding Guest

Captain America

Michael John Madden

Bill Maher

Kissing Couple

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Attendee

Dancer

Fox Booth Antendee

Victoria Martonne

Fox Booth Girl

Hot Comic Con Girl

Booth Girl

Olivia McCarthy

Comic Con Attendant

Stephanie McIntyre

Sexy Nerd

Partner at Comic Con

Ginger Girl

Pacific Rim Robot

Wedding Guest

Kristina Mezzetti

Ted Supporter

Wayne R. Miller

Comic Con Attendee (Ninja Turtle)

Shayla Mitchell

Extra

Adrian M. Mompoint

Dancer

Comic Con Attendee

Wedding Guest

Dancer

Ted's Attorney

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Attendee

Robert Nickerson

Wedding Guest

Dancer

Comic Con Attendee

Darth Maul

Pedestrian

Joseph Oliveira

Courtroom Spectator

Richard Pacheco

Wedding Attendant

Courtroom Observer

Comic Con Attendee

Michaelangelo - TMNT

Comic Con Attendee

Well Wisher

Black Sails Pirate #2

Pixie the Pirate

Fairy at Comic Con

Elizabeth Pollard

Co-counsel

City Pedestrian

Kissing Couple

Well Wisher

Jessica Rainville

Wedding Guest

Wedding Photographer

NY Comic Con Guy

Caterer

Patron at Diner

Wedding Guest

David Riccio Jr.

Court Clerk

Cake

Wedding Guest

Giselle Rodriguez

Comic Con Attendant

Wedding Guest

Ginger Girl

Improv Troupe

Comic Con Attendee

Woman in Courtroom

Comic Con Attendee

Transformer

Dancer

Wedding Guest

Convention Attendee

Comic Con Booth Girl

Isabella Sanchez

Wedding Guest

Comic Con Attendee

Tioka Bernard Schluter IV

Piano

Comic Con Worker

Comic Con Guy

Eric Shackelford

Comic Con Attendee

Extra

News Cameraman

Supergirl

Wedding Guest

Chaunty Spillane

Comic Con X-Box Vendor

Random Guy

Comic Con Goat Girl

Patient in Clinic

Michael Steven Swanson

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Attendee

Wedding Guest

Court Reporter

Dancer

Comic Con Visitor

Comic Con Attendee

Shopper

Library Patron

George J. Vezina

Jury Member

Nicolas Villamizar

Wedding Guest

Comic Con Guest

Comic Con Attendee

Angry Cab Driver

Patrick M. Walsh

Klingon #1

Well Wisher

Christopher Weigel

Wedding Guest

Caitlin Patricia Weiler

Diner Customer

Courtroom spectator

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Attendee

Sandra E Williams

Dancer

Doctor

Wedding Guest

Comic Con Attendee

Comic Con Attendee

Nerdy Comic Con Attendee

Baroness Girl

Flash Gordon's Date

View All Cast

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Explore 122 Clips

MALE NARRATOR: We are often told that happily-ever-afters exist only in the pages of fairy tales and in the naive minds of sheltered innocents. - Ted 2

MALE NARRATOR: We are often told that happily-ever-afters...

WEDDING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, your newlyweds! - Ted 2

WEDDING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, your newlyweds!

Teddy, this is the best day of my life! - Ted 2

Teddy, this is the best day of my life!

Hey, congrats, you mofos. - Ted 2

Hey, congrats, you mofos.

Rick and I are actually about to tie the knot. - Ted 2

Rick and I are actually about to tie the knot.

Yeah, I'm gonna pass. - Ted 2

Yeah, I'm gonna pass.

Yeah, I'm gonna pass. - Ted 2

Yeah, I'm gonna pass.

I'm starving What the hell are you doing over thereI'm curing cancerI'm cooking your fucking steak What do you think I'm doingWhat do I think you're doingI think you're bleeding us dry is what I think you're doingLook at this look at this 129 at Filene's - Ted 2

I'm starving What the hell are you doing over...

Oh newsflash Boston whore has seen Italian penis - Ted 2

Oh newsflash Boston whore has seen Italian penis

HeyHelloI'd uh like to ask a few questions about this breakfast cerealUh yeah yeah Box of TrixThat's rightI've been led to understand that Trix are exclusively for childrenIs that correctI I mean they say uh Trix are for kids in the commercialsUh huh Uh - Ted 2

HeyHelloI'd uh like to ask a few questions about this...

Hey. I won't forget what you've done for me here today. I would prefer that you do. - Ted 2

Hey. I won't forget what you've done for me here...

You two still not talking? - Ted 2

You two still not talking?

Uh huh Look at thatYou see them two white niggas over thereINDISTINCT Yeah WhatLook at them They're so happyBecause they got that little baby keeping them togetherIf they didn't have that babythey'd just be two sad ass white niggaswaiting for Downtown - Ted 2

Uh huh Look at thatYou see them two white niggas over...

You do - Ted 2

What the fuck? - Ted 2

All right, there, you happy? - Ted 2

All right, there, you happy?

TED: So, uh, basically that's it. - Ted 2

TED: So, uh, basically that's it.

Johnny, please, just help me do this. - Ted 2

Johnny, please, just help me do this.

Just calm down. - Ted 2

Just calm down.

And you're not a cheater I mean I think your balls are perfect - Ted 2

And you're not a cheater I mean I think your balls are...

Take the damn raincoat off. - Ted 2

Take the damn raincoat off.

You're telling me you don't want this - Ted 2

You're telling me you don't want this

PANTING - Ted 2

Besides we just broke into Tom Brady's house and tried to jerk him offYou're ready to be a parent - Ted 2

Besides we just broke into Tom Brady's house and tried...

What is that? - Ted 2

I'm John Bennett. - Ted 2

I'm John Bennett.

Uh, excuse me. - Ted 2

I'm blinking it inGAGGING You got to fucking help meOh my God It's in my fucking mouthHang on I got to post this on FacebookNo CAMERA CLICKSHashtag Grr Mondays - Ted 2

I'm blinking it inGAGGING You got to fucking help meOh...

Look I'm so sorry We swear to God it was an accidentWe're so sorryWell I guess it's all right Those are the rejected sickle cell samplesAh you hear that JohnnyYou're covered in rejected black guy spermYou look like a Kardashian - Ted 2

Look I'm so sorry We swear to God it was an...

I'm sorrybut I'm gonna have to let you goWhat Why I've been busting my ass at this job for three yearsI just got a call from the Labor DepartmentI can't legally keep you on as an employeebecause I've been informed that you're technicallyTechnically not a - Ted 2

I'm sorrybut I'm gonna have to let you goWhat Why...

You fucking believe that? - Ted 2

You fucking believe that?

Right You see the thing is we don't want to take any chancesbecause the stakes are so significantWe can't just rush into anythingWe got to make sure we're making the right decisionTED We really appreciate your timebut I think what we're probably gonna do - Ted 2

Right You see the thing is we don't want to take any...

Wait wait wait What's your middle nameLeslieOh my God So you're Sam L Jackson LAUGHSThat's fucking great Just like Sam L JacksonWho is thatYou ever seen any movie ever He's the black guy - Ted 2

Wait wait wait What's your middle nameLeslieOh my God...

That weed is really goodIt reminds me of the strain I smokedlast summer called Here Comes AutismYeah I was just gonna say it's sort of like this other batch we had calledHow Long Has That Van Been ThereNo it's this new strain my dealer gave me called Help - Ted 2

That weed is really goodIt reminds me of the strain I...

All right, I got Dred Scott v. - Ted 2

All right, I got Dred Scott v.

Okay. I'm gonna ask you a few test questions. - Ted 2

Okay. I'm gonna ask you a few test questions.

Oh really Um can either of you tell me who wrote The Great GatsbyJudy Blume HitlerF Scott FitzgeraldWho's thatThe authorWhy are you saying Fuck himWhatYou just said Eff Scott FitzgeraldWhat did Scott Fitzgerald do to you YeahNo that's his first nameHis - Ted 2

Oh really Um can either of you tell me who wrote The Great...

His name's Fuck Scott Fitzgerald - Ted 2

His name's Fuck Scott Fitzgerald

Yes! Sir? Um, one of the janitors would like to see you. I'm busy. Fresh cakes! What is it, Danny? U - Ted 2

Yes! Sir? Um, one of the janitors would like to see you....

Mr. Jessup, I can make this company a billion dollars. I'm listening. Thirty years ago, a little boy - Ted 2

Mr. Jessup, I can make this company a billion dollars....

Oh, there's one! - Ted 2

Oh, there's one!

GAVEL BANGS Order - Ted 2

GAVEL BANGS Order

No he's not my property He's a personHe's way more of a person than lots of other peopleI mean fucking Steven TylerWhat the fuck is that Some kind ofweird soccer mom looking Goonie monsterYour Honor I'll allow it - Ted 2

No he's not my property He's a personHe's way...

Where did they get himChild World toy storeI'm sorry I couldn't hear that Could you repeat that pleaseChild World toy store You fucking heard me - Ted 2

Where did they get himChild World toy storeI'm sorry I...

Ms Jackson please control your clientor I'll hold both of you in contempt of courtOh piss offI'm standing up for me and I'm standing up for the homosWe deserve respectTed shut upFine - Ted 2

Ms Jackson please control your clientor I'll hold both...

Your Honor, I'd like to call Ted Clubber Lang to the stand. - Ted 2

Your Honor, I'd like to call Ted Clubber Lang to the...

Teddo you love your wifeObjection She's not his wife The marriage was annulledI'll rephraseDo you love Tami LynnI love my wife Okay My wifeMore than anything in the worldWe're married I don't care what anybody says - Ted 2

Teddo you love your wifeObjection She's not his wife...

Capable of love. - Ted 2

Capable of love.

Ted, would you please press your chest? - Ted 2

Ted, would you please press your chest?

TED TOY VOICE: I love you! - Ted 2

TED TOY VOICE: I love you!

No further questions - Ted 2

No further questions

I'm sorry, Your Honor. - Ted 2

I'm sorry, Your Honor.

What is taking them so long? - Ted 2

What is taking them so long?

Johnny it may be time to play the Betelgeuse cardWhat do you meanI mean saying his name three timesWhatBetelgeuse Betelgeuse BetelgeuseShut upYou fucking crazy We don't wantthat guy running around in hereNo Johnny he'll be on our sideHe'll help us - Ted 2

Johnny it may be time to play the Betelgeuse cardWhat do you...

Please be seated. - Ted 2

Please be seated.

Very well. - Ted 2

Are you sure you can get him? - Ted 2

Are you sure you can get him?

So first we need a historical event Who's got an eventTED 9 11STUTTERS Okay maybe something elseAll right let's start with a personJOHN Robin WilliamsOkay all right for real guys for real Who's got a personTED Robin Williams on 9 11All right we've heard - Ted 2

So first we need a historical event Who's got an...

All right. - Ted 2

If you wanna sit there with a pie of meat Just fuck your own brother in the front seat Oh, why can't you just say please? - Ted 2

If you wanna sit there with a pie of meat Just fuck your own...

TED So do you say Arizona State University or do you just say HPVU - Ted 2

TED So do you say Arizona State University or do you just...

TED Oh my GodJohn did you see that She was totally giving you the fuck me eyesNo she wasn'tShe was giving you the fuck me eyesWhat are the fuck me eyesSome women just have fuck me eyesDo I have fuck me eyesNo you have Give us the ring my precious eyes - Ted 2

TED Oh my GodJohn did you see that She was totally giving...

Okay I'll see you then Bye - Ted 2

Okay I'll see you then Bye

Ah! Ah! Shit, shit, shit! - Ted 2

Ah! Ah! Shit, shit, shit!

What the fuck? - Ted 2

Hey, listen, Sam, I'm real sorry. - Ted 2

Hey, listen, Sam, I'm real sorry.

That barn just came out of nowhere - Ted 2

That barn just came out of nowhere

What the hellSNIFFSHoly shit Hey TedYou know what this is It's Super Lemon HazeIt's a really rare strainIt's a cross between Lemon Skunk and Super Silver HazeIt's totally potentI've only had it once in my lifeand it was one of the best highs I ever - Ted 2

What the hellSNIFFSHoly shit Hey TedYou know what this is...

Holy shit! - Ted 2

Dear God! - Ted 2

They're moving in herds. - Ted 2

They're moving in herds.

Please tell me that's not the only bong you brought on this trip. - Ted 2

Please tell me that's not the only bong you brought on...

You got it. - Ted 2

So listen I got to askWas it just kissing last night Or was there finger stuff - Ted 2

So listen I got to askWas it just kissing last night Or was...

Man, we got a lot of pot in this car. - Ted 2

Man, we got a lot of pot in this car.

Oh, what the fuck? - Ted 2

Oh, what the fuck?

MEN: Whoa! - Ted 2

This Patrick Meighan's
got a classy setup, huh? - Ted 2

This Patrick Meighan's got a classy setup, huh?

This Patrick Meighan's got a classy setup, huh? - Ted 2

This Patrick Meighan's got a classy setup, huh?

And there is our first impression. - Ted 2

And there is our first impression.

I think I want to sleep on a bed made of your voice - Ted 2

I think I want to sleep on a bed made of your voice

Are those Tootsie Rolls just, like, to take? - Ted 2

Are those Tootsie Rolls just, like, to take?

So that's it. - Ted 2

Oh. Oh, that... That's great! That's fucking great! I'm glad you guys are so happy! What? What do yo - Ted 2

Oh. Oh, that... That's great! That's fucking...

MAN: Whoa. - Ted 2

GUY: Hey, Ted! - Ted 2

Hey. Are you Ted? Uh, yeah. This is so exciting! I was such a big fan of yours in the early '90s. Oh - Ted 2

Hey. Are you Ted? Uh, yeah. This is so exciting! I was such...

Holy shit! - Ted 2

Ted! Ted, hello? What's the matter? Oh, my God. Déjà vu. We got to get to Comic Con. Come on! - Ted 2

Ted! Ted, hello? What's the matter? Oh, my God. Déjà...

You know, I really love that Neil Diamond. - Ted 2

You know, I really love that Neil Diamond.

Ted 2 poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Seth MacFarlane

Writer: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild

Production: Smart Entertainment,Universal Pictures,Fuzzy Door Productions,Bluegrass Films,MRC

Genre: comedy

Year: 2015

MetaScore: 48/100

ImdbRating: 6.3

BoxOffice: $81,476,385

Released: 26 Jun 2015

Awards: 3 wins & 4 nominations

Homepage: https://www.uphe.com/movies/ted-2

Ted Collection: Ted, Ted 2