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Ted:
[At a "Knight Rider" Q&A panel, unrated version]
I have a question. Exactly how many beers did you have before you got naked with that hamburger? David Hasselhoff:
You know, buddy, we all make mistakes. That was a long time ago and I'm a different guy now. KITT:
You know what, can I just jump in here for a second? You're a real scumbag for asking that question. Ted:
What? It's a fair question. KITT:
No, You know what? You know what? Let me tell you something about this man... David Hasselhoff:
KITT, it's all right, just let it go. KITT:
No, no! I want him to hear this. Let me tell you something, after the show ended, I got nothing but shit work, all right? I was playing snow plows, tractors, I was even cast as a lawnmower. Not that was a real low point for me and this man sitting next to me, at this very low point in my life wrote me a check. David Hasselhoff:
Aw, come on, pal. KITT:
No, no! I want everyone to hear this because you are a good man, David Hasselhoff! You are a good man. You saved me with your generosity. You are the most- [KITT's wiper fluid and windshield wipers start up] KITT:
I'm so sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional. I just love you, buddy. I just love you so much. David Hasselhoff:
I love you too, pal, I really do. I love you. Ted:
So, like twenty-five beers or what? KITT:
[rushing at Ted]
You piece of shit! Get out of here! Ted:
Whoa, man! What the fuck? KITT:
You are not fit to breathe the same air as this man! David Hasselhoff:
KITT, he's not worth it! KITT:
Get out of here! Ted:
What? He's a celebrity. His personal life is our business. KITT:
Get the fuck out, you piece of dog shit! I will run you down like roadkill! Ted:
I don't have to take this shit from a fucking Pontiac. KITT:
Get out! Get the fuck out! Ted:
You're a psycho, dude. Seriously. You're a psycho. Get some therapy. KITT:
Get out! Ted:
[Ted leaves the room]
Crazy son of a bitch. Jesus Christ
[At a "Knight Rider" Q&A panel, unrated version]
I have a question. Exactly how many beers did you have before you got naked with that hamburger? David Hasselhoff:
You know, buddy, we all make mistakes. That was a long time ago and I'm a different guy now. KITT:
You know what, can I just jump in here for a second? You're a real scumbag for asking that question. Ted:
What? It's a fair question. KITT:
No, You know what? You know what? Let me tell you something about this man... David Hasselhoff:
KITT, it's all right, just let it go. KITT:
No, no! I want him to hear this. Let me tell you something, after the show ended, I got nothing but shit work, all right? I was playing snow plows, tractors, I was even cast as a lawnmower. Not that was a real low point for me and this man sitting next to me, at this very low point in my life wrote me a check. David Hasselhoff:
Aw, come on, pal. KITT:
No, no! I want everyone to hear this because you are a good man, David Hasselhoff! You are a good man. You saved me with your generosity. You are the most- [KITT's wiper fluid and windshield wipers start up] KITT:
I'm so sorry. I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional. I just love you, buddy. I just love you so much. David Hasselhoff:
I love you too, pal, I really do. I love you. Ted:
So, like twenty-five beers or what? KITT:
[rushing at Ted]
You piece of shit! Get out of here! Ted:
Whoa, man! What the fuck? KITT:
You are not fit to breathe the same air as this man! David Hasselhoff:
KITT, he's not worth it! KITT:
Get out of here! Ted:
What? He's a celebrity. His personal life is our business. KITT:
Get the fuck out, you piece of dog shit! I will run you down like roadkill! Ted:
I don't have to take this shit from a fucking Pontiac. KITT:
Get out! Get the fuck out! Ted:
You're a psycho, dude. Seriously. You're a psycho. Get some therapy. KITT:
Get out! Ted:
[Ted leaves the room]
Crazy son of a bitch. Jesus Christ
Full Transcript
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GAVEL BANGS Order
00:00:03.092 --> 00:00:05.996
Mr Bennett
00:00:05.588 --> 00:00:08.758
how would you categorize your relationship with Ted
00:00:09.675 --> 00:00:10.927
He's my best friend
00:00:11.344 --> 00:00:13.429
So you don't see him as your property
00:00:13.763 --> 00:00:16.039
No he's not my property He's a person
00:00:16.474 --> 00:00:18.514
He's way more of a person than lots of other people
00:00:18.559 --> 00:00:19.936
I mean fucking Steven Tyler
00:00:20.998 --> 00:00:21.027
What the fuck is that Some kind of
00:00:21.354 --> 00:00:22.939
weird soccer mom looking Goonie monster
00:00:23.998 --> 00:00:24.524
Your Honor I'll allow it
00:00:24.857 --> 00:00:26.317
Thank you Your Honor
00:00:26.984 --> 00:00:28.444
Your witness
00:00:28.945 --> 00:00:30.279
CLEARS THROAT
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Movie Summary
Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law.
Actors
Ted
John
