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Please tell me that's not the only bong you brought on this trip

Yeah, Sam. This puts us inkind of an awkward position, here. I mean, we wanna get high,...

Ted 2 • 2015

Please tell me that's not the only bongyou brought on this trip. TED: Yeah, Sam. This puts us inkind of an awkward position, here. I mean, we wanna get high, too. I don't have anypapers or nothing. Is this hilarious?I got it at a bachelorette party. It's so stupid.Here, try it. Uh, no. Why? I don't wanna puta big glass cock in my mouth. Oh, you think this is big? Johnny, you walkedright into that one, pal. This is all I brought. How about this?I'm gonna go check out the barn and I'm gonna seeif I can find a soda can or something for us to make an actual bong. Yeah, see if you canmake a non-dick bong. Yeah. Hey, that's the name of the SouthKorean president. Right? She gets...You get it. Right? No. What? Okay, I'll be back. Sorry. No. This is nice. You know?I always wanted my ex-wife to get stoned with me.She never would. Really? Wow. That's the cornerstoneof any great marriage. I agree

Full Transcript

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Please tell me that's not the only bong you brought on this trip

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TED Yeah Sam This puts us in kind of an awkward position here

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I mean we wanna get high too

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I don't have any papers or nothing

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Is this hilarious I got it at a bachelorette party

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LAUGHS

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It's so stupid Here try it

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Uh no

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Why

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I don't wanna put a big glass cock in my mouth

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Oh you think this is big

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LAUGHS

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Johnny you walked right into that one pal

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This is all I brought

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How about this I'm gonna go check out the barn

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and I'm gonna see if I can find a soda can or something

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for us to make an actual bong

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Yeah see if you can make a non dick bong

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Yeah Hey that's the name of the South Korean president LAUGHS

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Right

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She gets You get it

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Right No

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What

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Okay I'll be back

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Sorry

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No This is nice

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You know I always wanted my ex wife

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to get stoned with me She never would

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Really

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Wow That's the cornerstone of any great marriage

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I agree BOTH CHUCKLE

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رجاء لا تقولي أنها المدخنة الوحيدة التي جلبتيها لهذه الرحلة

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نعم سام هذا يضعنا في موقف حرج هنا

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أعني نريد أن ننتشي أيضا

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لماذا لا أ ريد أن أضع قضيبا كبيرا في فمي

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هل تعتقد هذا كبير

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هذا الوحيد الذي جلبته

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حسنا سأبحث في الإسطبل لأجد علبة أو شيئا ما ربما يمكنني صنع مدخنة

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نعم ربما تجد مدخنة نوعها نون ديك بونغ لا قضيبية ذلك يشبه اسم رئيس كوريا الجنوبية

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هل فهمت أنت فهمت

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ما بكم حسنا سأعود لاحقا

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آسفة

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لا عليك هذا لطيف

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تعلمين لطالما طلبت من زوجتي أن نخيم في الغابة لكنها رفضت دوما

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حقا

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ذلك حجر أساس للعلاقة الزوجية أشاطرك الرأي

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CASSE CROÛTE MILLPOND

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C'est parfait On sera en ville avant 10 h

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Sam elle est bonne ta salade moche

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Elle est délicieuse en fait

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Tout le monde dit ça à propos de sa salade

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Tout le monde ment

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Non j'adore ça C'est délicieux

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Mange des Cookie Crisp Quelque chose de nutritif

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Pourquoi je les voudrais

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Tu les fixes et tu en veux

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Qu'est ce que vous avez Allez vous finir par vous embrasser

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Voyons Teddy

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Je dis ça comme ça Vous vous entendez bien

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Sam il te plaît non

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Hé

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Mon café J'attends depuis dix minutes

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Désolée monsieur j'ai oublié Je vous l'apporte

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Tu es serveuse pas constructrice de fusées Débrouille toi

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Quel enfoiré

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20 que je peux lancer un Cookie Crisp dans sa craque

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Attends je vais essayer

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J'ai été lanceuse de balle molle à l'université

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Ah oui La mascotte c'était un condom pété

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Ferme la

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Mon Dieu Bon sang

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Qui a fait ça

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Sag bitte nicht du hast nur die eine Pfeife dabei

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Ja Sam Das bringt uns hier in 'ne ziemlich unangenehme Lage

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Wir wollen auch high werden

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Ich habe auch keine Papers oder so

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Ist das nicht ulkig Hab ich von 'nem Junggesellinnenabschied

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Echt behämmert Hier probier

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Nein

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Wieso nicht

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Ich will keinen großen Glasschwanz in den Mund nehmen

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Den findest du groß

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Johnny da hast du dir ein Ei gelegt

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Mehr hab ich nicht dabei

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Hey ich seh mich mal in der Scheune um

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vielleicht finde ich ja 'ne Dose oder was

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um 'ne richtige Bong zu bauen

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'Ne Dosen Bang statt 'ner Schwanz Bang

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Hey so heißt doch auch der südkoreanische Präsident

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Oder

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Sie versteht Du verstehst es

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Oder Nein

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Was

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Ok ich bin gleich zurück

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Tut mir leid

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Nein Das ist schön

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Ich hatte mir immer gewünscht dass meine Ex und ich mal zusammen kiffen

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Wirklich

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Wow Das ist doch aber der Grundpfeiler jeder guten Ehe

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Seh ich genauso

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持ってきたのはそれだけとか言うなよ

00:00:04.134 --> 00:00:07.999

そうだぞサムそいつにゃビビるぞ

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俺たちも吸いたいんだけど

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陽気な気分独身パーティでヤッたわ

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バカみたいほらどうぞいや

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何で大物を口にはチョット

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大きいと思うの

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思うツボだな

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これだけよ

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じゃ俺が納屋へ行って

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空き缶か何かないか捜してくるよ

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デカチン無しで頼むぞ non dick bong

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確か自粛の大統領の名前だ

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彼女解った

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どうした直ぐ戻るよ

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ご免ね

00:00:45.469 --> 00:00:47.899

別にこれは効くね

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僕は嫁さんと森で酔っ払いたいけどダメなんだ

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へぇー

00:00:53.212 --> 00:00:55.806

結婚の基本よね

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まぁだね

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MERENDERO MILL POND

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Esto es perfecto Vamos a llegar a la ciudad antes de las 10 00

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Oye Sam cómo está tu ensalada aburrida

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Es realmente deliciosa

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Todo el mundo siempre dice eso sobre su ensalada

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Son todos unos malditos mentirosos

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No me encanta Es muy buena

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Toma un poco de Cookie Crisp Necesitas algo nutritivo

00:00:20.187 --> 00:00:21.731

Por qué crees que quiero tu Cookie Crisp

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Porqué las has estado contemplando y No

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Oigan qué pasa aquí Uds van a hacerlo o qué

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Teddy vamos amigo

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No sólo estoy Sólo estoy diciendo

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Parece que tienen algo sabes

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Sam lo harías con él verdad

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Oye Dónde diablos está mi café

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He estado esperando durante 10 minutos

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Lo siento mucho señor Lo olvidé Se lo traeré de inmediato

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Jesús eres una mesera no estás

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construyendo cohetes Ingéniatelas

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Pero qué idiota

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Oye 20 dólares a que puedo tirar una

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Cookie Crisp en su raja del trasero

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Espera déjame intentarlo

00:00:50.001 --> 00:00:52.593

Solía lanzar para el equipo de softbol en la Estatal de Arizona

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Oh sí Era su mascota un condón roto

00:00:54.047 --> 00:00:55.596

Cállate

00:00:58.641 --> 00:00:59.849

Quién hizo eso

Available in 6 languages

Duration

58 seconds

Views

1,786

Timestamp in Movie

01:12:03

Uploaded

Feb 15, 2026

Genres

Production

Smart Entertainment,Universal Pictures,Fuzzy Door Productions,Bluegrass Films,MRC

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Movie Summary

Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law.