Right. You see the thing is, we don't wanna take any chances, because the stakes are so...
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Quote
Ted:
Right. You see the thing is, we don't wanna take any chances, because the stakes are so significant.
John:
We can't rush into anything. We got to make sure we're making the right decision.
Ted:
We really appreciate your time, but what we're probably gonna do is...
[Samantha takes a hit from bong]
Ted:
just take a seat and get to work.
John:
Trust you completely.
Ted:
We really feel you got a lot to offer.
Samantha Jackson:
Sorry you don't mind the pot,do you? I get migraines.
John:
Oh absolutely. Me too.
Ted:
That's fine. I'm gonna get a huge migraine in the parking lot in about 20 minuets.
Transcript
Ted has already lost his job, his marriage
has been annulled.
I know, My uncle
gave me all the details.
Right, You see, the thing is, we don't
want to take any chances
because the stakes
are so significant.
We can't just
rush into anything.
We got to make sure we're making
the right decision.
We really
appreciate your time,
but I think what
we're probably gonna do is
just take a seat
and get to work.
Trust you completely.
Yeah, we really feel like
you got a lot to offer.
Sorry.
You don't mind the pot,
do you?
I get migraines.
Oh, absolutely, me, too.
That's fine.
I'm gonna get a huge migraine
in the parking lot in about 20 minutes.
Oh, I'm Samantha Jackson.
Ted, How are ya?
Good to meet you, John.
Nice to meet you.
Wait, wait, wait.
What's your middle name?
Leslie.
Oh, my God! So
you're Sam L. Jackson!
That's fucking great!
Just like Sam L. Jackson!
Who is that?
You ever seen any movie ever?
He's the black guy.
That weed is really good.
It reminds me of
the strain I smoked
last summer called
"Here Comes Autism.
Yeah, I was just gonna say it's sort of like
this other batch we had called
"How Long Has
That Van Been There?
No, it's this new strain my dealer gave me called
Help Me Get Home.
You know, I'm surprised a lawyer
like you gets high.
I mean, aren't you
supposed to be fighting
the War on Drugs
and all that shit?
Please, the War on Drugs
is a joke.
It's just a way
for the government
to inflate law
enforcement budgets
and lock up minorities
for no good legal reason.
And you, my friend,
are an oppressed minority.
Yeah, No shit.
They've denied you the same rights
as everybody else
just because
you're different,
and I say that's a violation
of the Constitution.
So what do you say?
Can you get me my life back?
I'm gonna try.
Hey, guys?
Clip duration: 96 seconds
Views: 225
Timestamp in movie: 00h 00m 00s
Uploaded: 01 February, 2021
Genres: comedy
Summary: Newlywed couple Ted and Tami-Lynn want to have a baby, but in order to qualify to be a parent, Ted will have to prove he's a person in a court of law.
Comments
Actors
00:14 Look I'm so sorry We swear to God it was an accident
00:35 So first we need a historical event Who's got an event
00:15 Wait wait wait What's your middle name
00:36 I'd uh like to ask a few questions about this breakfast...
00:17 TED Oh my God
00:34 SHOUTS What the fuck
00:18 All right I got Dred Scott v Sandford Plessy v Ferguson
00:07 Hi Have any of you guys seen a talking teddy bear run...
00:18 Okay I'm gonna ask you a few test questions Are you...
00:08 Besides we just broke into Tom Brady's house and tried...
00:20 Johnny it may be time to play the Betelgeuse card
00:13 Ms Jackson please control your client
00:12 I'm blinking it in
00:05 And you're not a cheater I mean I think your balls are...
00:04 That barn just came out of nowhere
00:05 CAMERA CLICKING TED Hashtag Shit happens
00:16 TED So do you say Arizona State University or do you just...
00:36 I thought that was you What's happening man
00:34 You get a nose job No
00:15 Oh what the fuck What are you doing