Ted: Lori was right about you: you *cannot* take responsibility for anything that goes on in your life. John: Oh, and *you* can? Ted: I don't *have* to! I'm a fucking *teddy bear*! Y'know somethin'? I
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You *cannot* take responsibility for anything that goes on...

Ted 2012
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Ted:
Lori was right about you: you *cannot* take responsibility for anything that goes on in your life.
John:
Oh, and *you* can?
Ted:
I don't *have* to! I'm a fucking *teddy bear*! Y'know somethin'? I didn't tie you up and *drag* you to that party, alright? I *wanted* you to come, because you're *supposedly* my best friend!
John:
You can't stand there and tell me havin' been with Lori has always been a threat to our friendship! I mean, it always works out so much better for *you* when we're sittin' around gettin' *fucked* up on the couch till nine am, doesn't it?
Ted:
[Scoffs]
Listen to yourself. What am I, Emperor Ming here controllin' your mind? That's *your* choice, John! And by blamin' me, you're just makin' yourself look like a pussy.

Transcript:
for something that
you did to yourself.
Lori was right about you.
You cannot take responsibility for
anything that goes on in your life.
Oh, and you can?
I don't have to.
I'm a fucking teddy bear.
You know something? I didn't tie
you up and drag you to that party.
I wanted you to come because
you're supposedly my best friend.
You can't stand there
and tell me
that you haven't always seen Lori
as a threat to our friendship.
It works out
so much better for you
when you and I are
getting fucked up
on the couch at 9:00 a.m., doesn't it?
Listen to yourself.
What am I? Emperor Ming,
here, controlling your mind?
That's your choice, John.
And by blaming me,
you, you're just
making yourself
look like a pussy.
Sometimes I think back to
that Christmas morning
when I was eight years old.
I wish I had just
gotten a Teddy Ruxpin.
Say that one more time.
Teddy Rux-fucking-pin!
Shit!
Fuck, man!
Ow! Fuck! Cocksucker!
Fucking stop! Fuck!

Clip duration: 134 seconds
Views: 15
Uploaded: 28 January, 2021
Genres: comedy
Summary: John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear, Ted or his girlfriend, Lori.


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