[Rex escorts John to the second floor of his house, showing off all of his expensive memorabilia] Rex: This is Wade Boggs' autographed bat. I just barely outbid Phil Donahue for that at an auction.
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This is Wade Boggs' autographed bat. I just barely outbid...

Ted 2012
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[Rex escorts John to the second floor of his house, showing off all of his expensive memorabilia]

Rex:
This is Wade Boggs' autographed bat. I just barely outbid Phil Donahue for that at an auction.
John:
Wow, cool.
Rex:
Yeah, cool.
[Pointing at boxing gloves on display]

Rex:
These boxing gloves worn by Joe Louis in his first fight.
[Stops and points at abstract painting]

Rex:
This is art. Get it?
[John shrugs]

Rex:
[Pointing at glasses on display]
These were John Lennon's glasses. They're worth like a million dollars.
[pointing at a photo frame]

Rex:
That's me and Tom Skerritt. Oh, check this out.
[They stop in front of a display]

Rex:
This is Lance Armstrong's nut. I had it freeze-dried and bronzed. Every now and then, when life's getting me down and things are tough, I just come up here... and look at that. It reminds me that... things aren't so bad.
John:
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Rex:
[Looks at John]
Sometimes you don't.
[They both walk to the bar]

Rex:
So, talk to me, Jonny Quest, how are things with you and Lori?
John:
You know, things are great, actually.
Rex:
Oh that's great. That is great.
John:
You know, uh, Lori would hate me for saying this, but, she told me how you are at the office. And as one gentleman to another, I just wanna say I really hope you fucking get Lou Gehrig's disease.
Rex:
[Giggles]
Well, uh, let me, uh, let me get to clear the air a little. I mean, yeah, I'm kind of a fun time boss and whatnot. But look, man, I do that with everyone at the office. I'm a kook. I have no desires on your girlfriend. We work together, and that's it. You know, I think you're a great guy, and she's a very lucky girl.
John:
Well that's good to hear.
Rex:
Yeah.

Transcript:
It's an old sweater, huh?
This is Wade Boggs'
autographed bat.
I just barely outbid Phil
Donahue for that at auction.
Wow, cool.
Yeah, cool.
These boxing gloves were worn by
Joe Louis in his first fight.
This is art.
Get it?
These were
John Lennon's glasses.
They're worth,
like, a million dollars.
That's me
and Tom Skerritt.
Oh.
Check this out.
It's Lance Armstrong's nut.
I had it
freeze-dried and bronzed.
Every now and then
when my life's
getting me down
and things are tough,
I just come up here
and I look at it.
And it reminds me that
things aren't so bad.
Sometimes you feel
like a nut.
Sometimes you don't.
So, talk to me, Johnny Quest. How
are things with you and Lori?
Things are great,
actually.
That's great.
That is great.
You know, Lori would
hate me for saying this,
but she told me how
you are at the office.
And, as one gentleman to
another, I just want to say
I really hope you fucking
get Lou Gehrig's disease.
I think I need to clear
the air here a little.
Yeah, I'm kind of a
fun-time boss and what-not.
But, look, man, I do that
with everybody at the office.
I'm a kook.
I have no designs
on your girlfriend.
We work together,
and that's it.
I think you're a great guy
and she's a very lucky girl.
Well, that's good to hear.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Hey, Ted.
Johnny, where are you? You
got to get over here, man.
Why, what's going on?
Okay, so I'm having
a little impromptu thing
with some people
at my apartment.
And, John,
Sam Jones is here.
What?
Sam Jones.
Flash-fucking-Gordon is here.
Holy shit! What?
You remember I said my buddy's
cousin is friends with Sam Jones?
My buddy's in town
with his cousin,
and who do you think is with him?
Sam Jones.
Sam Jones is here,
and, John,
his hair is
parted down the middle.
Just like in the movie.
Yes. Get over here
right now.
Fuck, I can%!
I'm with Lori here.
I'm already on probation.
I can't.
John, Flash Gordon was the most important
influence of our formative years.
He taught us right from
wrong, good from evil.
And that the word
"acting" apparently
has an extremely
broad definition.
Flash Gordon is the symbol
of our friendship, John.
Come share this with me.
I'm coming.
Rex, I got to go.
I'll be back in 30 minutes
tops, okay?
But Lori cannot find out. She
absolutely cannot know I was gone.
If you can cover for me, I'm
cool with all that other shit.
I got your back on this. She won't know.
I've been there.
All right, this is
one man to another.
I don't really know you, but
I'm trusting you, as a man.
This is serious.
Dude, one man to another.
I got you on this.
Thank you.
I'll be back.
I'm going to have sex
with your girlfriend.

Clip duration: 206 seconds
Views: 16
Uploaded: 28 January, 2021
Genres: comedy
Summary: John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear, Ted or his girlfriend, Lori.


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