Komly
Lori: [Enters apartment and sees Ted and four hookers on the couch watching TV] Oh... Ted: Lori, hey, you're home early. Lori: What the hell is this? Ted: The ladies and I were just watching Jack and
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Oh... Lori, hey, you're home early. What the hell is this?...

Ted 2012
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Lori:
[Enters apartment and sees Ted and four hookers on the couch watching TV]
Oh...
Ted:
Lori, hey, you're home early.
Lori:
What the hell is this?
Ted:
The ladies and I were just watching Jack and Jill, where Adam Sandler plays a guy and his sister, and it's, it's just awful. It's unwatchable, but y'know, they're hookers. So it's fine.
Lori:
This place is a wreck! Who are these girls?
Ted:
Oh, where are my manners? Lori, this is Angelique, Heavenly, Charene, and Sauvignon Blanc. I love you girls. Y'know, somewhere out there are four terrible fathers I wish I could thank for this great night!
Lori:
[Looks down on floor]
What is that?
Ted:
Wha- what is what?
Lori:
There's a... a shit on my floor! In the corner, there is a shit!
Ted:
Oh, yeah, Yeah, we were playing Truth or Dare, and, uh, Charene was pretty ballsy.
Lori:
There is a shit on my floor!
Ted:
Well, or, or, is the floor on the shit? Is what Kierkegaard would say.
John:
[John pokes a lobster head from out the door]
Rawr!
Ted:
Hahaha!
John:
Who lives here? I'm comin' to get who lives here! You owe me lobster money!
Ted:
Ahahaha! That's my buddy Johnny. Not the lobster, the guy runnin' it.
John:
[Enters the apartment]
I found my phone. What's going on.
[John suddenly looks down on the floor]

John:
Is that a shit?
[Lori looks at John]

Transcript:
Oh!
Lori, hey,
you're home early.
What the hell is this?
The ladies and I were just
watching Jack and Jill.
Adam Sandier plays a guy and his
sister, and it's just awful.
It's unwatchable.
But, they're hookers,
so it's fine.
This place is a wreck.
Who are these girls?
Oh. Where are my manners?
Lori, this is Angelique, Heavenly,
Cherene, and Sauvignon Blanc.
I love you girls.
You know, somewhere out there
are four terrible fathers
I wish I could thank
for this great night.
What is that?
What is what?
There is...
...a shit on my floor.
In the corner,
there is a shit!
Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were
playing truth or dare
and Cherene's
pretty ballsy.
There is a shit
on my floor!
"Or is the floor on the shit?"
is what Kierkegaard would say.
Who lives here? I'm coming
to get whoever lives here.
You owe me lobster money.
That's
my buddy, Johnny.
Not the lobster,
the guy running it.
I found my phone.
What's going on?
Is that a shit?
God, there are some
fucked-up fish out there.
Look at that one.
WASP-y, white-guy fish.
"I married the wrong woman, and
now I lead a life of regret."
Oh, look at this guy.
"I went to New York once in 1981,
and I just did not feel safe."
Ted, you gotta move out.
What?
It's got to happen.
What did I do?
My relationship is at a very
delicate stage, you know.
Lori and I may just need
a little space right now.
Plus, a hooker took a
shit in our apartment.
Oh, God!
Ah, what?
Oh, this is so gross!
Don't tell me! I don't want to hear about it!
Did you get it?
No, I didn't get it!
Tell me when you get it!
Oh, my God,
I got some on my thumb!
No! You can never cook
with that hand again!
Oh, my God! You have to
learn to cook left-handed.
This is the most
disgusting thing ever!
Don't!
Get it away from me!
Look, that was a tough
night for all of us.
Ted, you mean everything
to me, and so does Lori.
I'm just trying to find a way
to keep you both in my life.
She's making you
do it, isn't she?

Clip duration: 153 seconds
Views: 83
Timestamp in movie: 00:00:00
Uploaded: 28 January, 2021
Genres: comedy
Summary: John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear, Ted or his girlfriend, Lori.


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