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Half man and half machine
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A long-ass fuckin' time ago in a town called Kickapoo / There lived a humble family...

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JB: [narrating in song] A long-ass fuckin' time ago in a town called Kickapoo / There lived a humble family religious through and through / But yea there was a black sheep and he knew just what to do / His name was young JB and he refused to step in line / A vision he did see of fucking rocking all the time / He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align... [young JB enters playing a guitar] Lil' JB: [singing] Oh, the dragon's balls were blazin' as I stepped into his cave / Then I sliced his fucking cockles with my long and shiny blade / 'Twas I who fucked the dragon, fuckalye sing fuckaloo / And if you try to fuck with me then I shall fuck you too / Gotta get it on in the party zone / I gotsta shoot a load in party zone / Gotta lick a toad in the party zone / Gotta suck a choad in the party zone! [Jack's father takes him to his room and spanks him with his belt. A guitar riff is heard starting] Jack's Father: [singing] You disobeyed my orders son, why were you ever born? / Your brother's ten times better than you, Jesus loves him more / This music that you've played for us comes from the depths of Hell / Rock 'n' roll's the Devil's work, he wants you to rebel. [begins to tear down JB's rock 'n' roll posters] Jack's Father: You'll become a mindless puppet! Beelzebub will pull the strings! / Your heart will lose direction and chaos it will bring / You better shut your mouth, you better watch your tone / You're grounded for a week with no telephone / Don't let me hear ya cry, don't let me hear ya moan / You gotta praise the Lord when you're in my home! [Dad storms out, leaving only one poster: Ronnie James Dio] Lil' JB: [singing to the poster] Dio, can you hear me? I am lost and so alone / I'm asking for your guidance, won't you come down from your throne? / I need a tight compadre who will teach me how to rock / My father thinks you're evil, but, man, he can suck a cock / Rock is not the Devil's work, it's magical and rad / I'll never rock as long as I am stuck here with my dad. [the poster comes to life] Ronnie James Dio: [singing] I hear you brave young Jables, you are hungry for the rock / But to learn the ancient methods, secret doors you must unlock / Escape your father's clutches in this oppressive neighborhood / On a journey you must go to find the land of Hollywood / In the City of Fallen Angels, where the ocean meets the sand / You will form a strong alliance and the world's most awesome band / To find your fame and fortune, through the valley you must walk / You will face your inner demons, now go my son and ROCK! [JB jumps out the window and runs away from home] JB: [narrating in song] So he bailed from fucking Kickapoo with hunger in his heart / And he journeyed far and wide to find the secrets of his art / But in the end he knew that he would find his counterpart / Rock! / Rah-ha-ha-ha-hock / Rah-ha-ha-ha-ha... [babbles] JB: Rock!


Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.069
Half man and half machine
00:00:02.728 --> 00:00:04.067
On the cover of a magazine
00:00:04.711 --> 00:00:09.184
Bigfoot is my father and he's got to protect me
00:00:09.223 --> 00:00:11.999
These lyrics don't make sense
00:00:11.001 --> 00:00:12.064
Think I've found the evidence
00:00:12.068 --> 00:00:16.542
That yeti is my papa and he wants to protect
00:00:16.583 --> 00:00:18.176
Me
00:00:19.431 --> 00:00:22.001
Do you know where I can find the Pick of Destiny
00:00:22.087 --> 00:00:25.316
Sure It's right over there
00:00:25.352 --> 00:00:26.878
Oh Let's get it
00:00:26.092 --> 00:00:29.953
I can get it if I surf on your
00:00:29.991 --> 00:00:32.544
Aaah Aaah Aaah
00:00:33.704 --> 00:00:35.559
Aaaaah Sweet baby

Clip duration: 37 seconds
Views: 429
Timestamp in movie: 00h 56m 44s
Uploaded: 28 March, 2022
Genres: adventure, comedy, music
Summary: To become the greatest band of all time, two slacker, wannabe-rockers set out on a quest to steal a legendary guitar pick that gives its holders incredible guitar skills, from a maximum security Rock and Roll museum.


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